(no subject)
I've finally cut away a scab from my life. Someone I've been involved with for long enough. The time to begin healing is now. But I know this is going to make me a stronger person.
People warned me from the beginning about her. I was blinded by these lustful feelings I had, and thought maybe I would be that different friend. I vowed to be there for her. I didn't judge, didn't abandon, and stuck with her through countless issues. She spent the whole relationship leeching off me. I virtually made a whole commission for her because it was the only way for me to get hotel money at acen. I paid for her badge with the promise that I would get 25.00 of that badge back. I drove 4 hours round trip on 3 or 4 occasions to bring her to my house for a couple days, and I fed her while she was over. I asked for nothing in return. Just a good friend.
People lashed out at her, she lost friends, and made enemies while I was with her, and I stuck around. I'm an intensely loyal friend to those I care about. People who know me well enough know this. I get accused of being a suffocating friend. Don't you think you'd be trying to make your friend feel better if they just broke up with someone? She'd log off line on me, and not answer text messages. Apparently this was her hint to me. I assumed she was mad at me and I wanted to know why. When she finally talked, I was told I was extremely insecure, and she just didn't want to talk.
Fair enough, I know I'm insecure. Past happenings have made me that way. I don't try to be insecure. It comes with my appearance and body size. She's so damn full of herself that she says she wants to make herself less attractive because that will take away her problems. She thinks everyone wants in her pants. But I respond by telling her it's the way she acts towards people. Naturally she doesn't want to hear the truth and tells me I'm a problem, to fuck off, I suffocated her as a friend, tried analyzing her too much, etc.
She then blocks me on Facebook. So she's been cut from my life entirely. Looking back, she merely looked at me as a host for her to leech from. Stupid me for falling for it. I was blind, and stupid.
We were close, so naturally I have a small hole to fill, but after opening my eyes to how I was treated, I feel it healing quickly.
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