Confessions...
* So I'm back where I started about a year ago. I have to find a place to live by mid Aug. when my lease is up here and I have not yet.
* I lost my temporary job with the City of Austin, and b/c of new management, low pay and low hours I left my dance studio job b/c I really do need to find a real one.
* I start College classes end of Aug. but I currently have all my classes set to start at the Rio Grande campus... and still not sure if I should switch them to the Riverside campus... but it all comes down to where I live and I don't know that yet.
* I did the study to get ahead so I could get a laptop, but lost my job the next day... so I was not sure if I should still get the laptop [should prob. not have] but I went ahead and got it. It worked crappy, so I took it back and they gave me my money back with no restocking fee which was awsome... then I even found a lighter, faster system and got that one instead. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, etc.
* I bought a new Cricket phone off the internet/ Ebay and its the same model I had when I used Verizen- the same one that got stolen that I loved. It's been made to work with Cricket services so I plan to switch my service over to it this week.
* I will be selling my old cell phone, selling my desktop [keeping flat screen monitor] and selling my digital camera, cam, and maybe my printer on Craigslist. I may need more money soon and no use hanging on to things I don't need.
* I will receive my last pay check from the City of Austin as of this Friday and it should be a nice check [about $700] That combined with whats in my acct. [$150?] will have to get me into a new room somewhere then I get my student pellgrant award around the end of Aug...
* I think I messed up my Monday nights... I slept with my favorite coffee server @The HideOut [great conversation, pool, and alcohol were involved] and of course he doesn't want to date me, and made sure I knew that it ment nothing to him. I don't want to see him, and I wear my heart on my sleeve... but I love that place and it's become like a second home to me. Hooking up w/him seemed romantic, like something that made it all connect... but it was dumb.
* I went to Karma Sat. night and had a great time dancing. 1 energy drink, and a couple bottles of water like the old days. I looked around at all the fucked up people on drugs, at all the underage girls dressed like sluts, at all the drug dealers, and alcoholic abusers... and I decided I need to find a new way to spend my Sat. nights. I don't want to belong here any more and have been here too long. Is this what growing up is about? Getting disgusted with your friends, with the people around you, with your self?...
...I promised my youngest sister who is Jacksonville, FL that I would help her get a computer or send her mine but I don't have the money any more to do that. Money comes and it goes... goes always faster then it comes too. I've been asking her for years to come visit me, that I would even pay for a ticket to get her here... but she won't come so what ever.
...now I'm just trying to not run out of food, to work up the mental strength to go out and look for a job, to finalize my student schedule, to find a place to live, to write at least 1 poem worth reading tonight when I go... I have to go- its the only home I have left these days.
* I lost my temporary job with the City of Austin, and b/c of new management, low pay and low hours I left my dance studio job b/c I really do need to find a real one.
* I start College classes end of Aug. but I currently have all my classes set to start at the Rio Grande campus... and still not sure if I should switch them to the Riverside campus... but it all comes down to where I live and I don't know that yet.
* I did the study to get ahead so I could get a laptop, but lost my job the next day... so I was not sure if I should still get the laptop [should prob. not have] but I went ahead and got it. It worked crappy, so I took it back and they gave me my money back with no restocking fee which was awsome... then I even found a lighter, faster system and got that one instead. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, etc.
* I bought a new Cricket phone off the internet/ Ebay and its the same model I had when I used Verizen- the same one that got stolen that I loved. It's been made to work with Cricket services so I plan to switch my service over to it this week.
* I will be selling my old cell phone, selling my desktop [keeping flat screen monitor] and selling my digital camera, cam, and maybe my printer on Craigslist. I may need more money soon and no use hanging on to things I don't need.
* I will receive my last pay check from the City of Austin as of this Friday and it should be a nice check [about $700] That combined with whats in my acct. [$150?] will have to get me into a new room somewhere then I get my student pellgrant award around the end of Aug...
* I think I messed up my Monday nights... I slept with my favorite coffee server @The HideOut [great conversation, pool, and alcohol were involved] and of course he doesn't want to date me, and made sure I knew that it ment nothing to him. I don't want to see him, and I wear my heart on my sleeve... but I love that place and it's become like a second home to me. Hooking up w/him seemed romantic, like something that made it all connect... but it was dumb.
* I went to Karma Sat. night and had a great time dancing. 1 energy drink, and a couple bottles of water like the old days. I looked around at all the fucked up people on drugs, at all the underage girls dressed like sluts, at all the drug dealers, and alcoholic abusers... and I decided I need to find a new way to spend my Sat. nights. I don't want to belong here any more and have been here too long. Is this what growing up is about? Getting disgusted with your friends, with the people around you, with your self?...
...I promised my youngest sister who is Jacksonville, FL that I would help her get a computer or send her mine but I don't have the money any more to do that. Money comes and it goes... goes always faster then it comes too. I've been asking her for years to come visit me, that I would even pay for a ticket to get her here... but she won't come so what ever.
...now I'm just trying to not run out of food, to work up the mental strength to go out and look for a job, to finalize my student schedule, to find a place to live, to write at least 1 poem worth reading tonight when I go... I have to go- its the only home I have left these days.