Fic: Why should I trust you? 22/? [PG-13]
Title: Why should I trust you? 22/?
Author: ravensilverwing
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Pre-slash Sam/Gabriel and Dean/Cas
Spoilers: Up to and including 5x08
Warnings: Swearing.
Word Count: 2,351
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Sam is still recovering from his near death experience and Gabriel takes him to Bobby's house.
Notes: Follows on from Part Twenty-One
I can't say how much everyone's comments have helped get me through writing the last few parts. So thankyou! :D
Bobby’s house is dusty, a fine layer of dirt everywhere, except for the books. Books that are lining the shelves and laying over every available flat surface. It’s the first thing he notices before his knees start to buckle and he’s falling, twisting, flying. Shit. Not again. He thought he was done with this. Hoped he was done with this. Gabriel merely wraps an arm around him and holds him up as his head rolls to his shoulder. Flying, shivering, cold.
“Hey.” Gabriel tightens his grip. “Come on Sam, pay attention here, where’s a couch, you need to lay down.”
And he can feel him shifting, head moving, looking around. Hair brushing lightly over his forehead, jaw rubbing against his skin. It’s enough to ground him, stop the slipping, sliding, stumbling feeling pulling at his gut. Destroying his balance and...
“Sam, come on kid, tell me where we’re going.”
“I’m not sure where we are.” And he thinks he might actually be slurring the words, he’s that weak with exhaustion.
“That’s because you closed your eyes.” He can tell Gabriel’s eyes are rolling, doesn’t need to see it, has heard the tone so much in the last few days, weeks, months. Christ has it been months since this all started? Either way it’s long enough to know. “Come on tiger, you need a bed.” Jostling him carefully.
Which is when he realises Gabriel is being careful, so careful with him.
“Open your eyes kid, or I’m leaving you on the floor.” Half threatening, half joking, he thinks, hopes.
“No you won’t.” Trying to sound sure of himself, digging deep and finding energy somewhere. Energy that feels like it’s already almost gone.
“You’re so sure about that?” Mock warning but he knows, he does know. Gabriel wouldn’t do that to him. He’s spent the last week taking care of him.
Taking care of him. He can’t remember a time when anyone but Dean took care of him.
Doesn’t mean he trusts Gabriel. Cause he doesn’t. Even Gabriel himself said he shouldn’t. That he’s only doing this to save his own little corner of the world, to bring Justice to people. Justice, the guy tortures people for fun.
“Hey, Sam.” Voice soft. “You okay? You listening to me?”
He wants to say he’s fine, just dandy but he’s not. Still so damn weak and tired. Head almost mush with exhaustion.
“Knew you shouldn’t have walked down to the car and back. Stubborn idiot.” And he’s starting to sound frustrated now. “Right, open those pretty little eyes and tell me where the hell we’re going or I’m ditching you here.” The arm around his back tightens almost painfully, makes him gasp. Eyes flying open despite how heavy they are.
Library. They’re in the library. Or the study. Whatever Bobby calls it. There used to be a couch in here but they took it out because Bobby needed more room to manoeuvre his wheelchair. So they put it in the bedroom upstairs. The closest place to crash is in the living room just down the hall.
As soon as he’s given Gabriel directions they’re there, no walking, shuffling, moving, just instantly there. He’s never been so grateful for angel powers til now. Suddenly standing next to the soft old couch.
“You’re going to sleep here?” Gabriel sounds incredulous. “You won’t fit.”
And he’s right. His legs hang off the end, his arm hangs off the side but he can’t make it up and down the stairs. Well he could, if he wants to spend the next six months here, instead of out fighting, fixing the mess he made. Wincing. He can work on thinking this isn’t all his fault later. He can’t believe they had a damn intervention. That even Cas got involved.
Cas who he didn’t think liked him. He’s not convinced Cas does like him, except he doesn’t seem to hate him anymore and that’s an improvement. Right?
Gabriel humps and sighs and a moment later there’s a click of his fingers. It’s a testament to how accustomed he’s become to that sound that he doesn’t even flinch or worry what the hell is going on. A testament to how overwhelmingly exhausted he is too.
“Alright, down we go, no flailing, you’re just going to sit first.”
It’s not his fault that he smacked Gabriel in the nose last time he helped him lay down. The twisting, twirling, tumbling hit suddenly, plummeting him into darkness. This time the darkness is caused by his eyes automatically closing.
He has a moment to wonder where the hell Bobby is, before he’s sinking into soft leather. Leather which is definitely not Bobby’s couch. When he cracks an eye open he sees dusky brown leather, the softest he’s ever felt and touched and petted. Fingers stroking the couch.
Gabriel snorts in laughter.
“I see you approve.”
It’s soft and brown and huge. Big enough to almost be called a bed and yet still not taking up all of the space in the smallish room. Gabriel is bending physics again, he can feel it. Bending physics because he wants him to have a big enough bed.
Frowning and straying away from that thought. He can’t afford to let his guard down. He can’t afford to trust Gabriel too much. Even as Gabriel keeps a hand on his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t slip one way or the other.
“You need more sleep kiddo.” Tone softly serious.
“Stop calling me that.” And he knows he sounds petulant, like a two year old but he can’t help it, it just comes out that way.
“What? Kid? Kiddo? Tiger?” Smirking down at him when he finally drags his eyes up. Up into amused hazel brown, gold. Just a glimmer of gold. “Would you prefer princess, sasquatch, gigantor cause I gotta say...”
Groaning. Trust him to know all the names Dean calls him.
There’s a sound deeper in the house and Gabriel’s smile cuts off, eyes swinging to the door, then back down to meet his.
“I have to go.”
“What? Why?” This isn’t part of the plan.
“Did you really think I’d be hanging around?” Frown gracing his face, bringing his brows in close. “I can’t stay Sam.”
“But...” And he doesn’t even know what he’s saying. Why he’s protesting.
Is he actually saying that he doesn’t want Gabriel to go? Fear slowly spreading. The nightmares are going to come back, they’re going to make him weak. And Cas was right, the weaker he is the easier it will be for Lucifer to use him.
Gabriel’s lips quirk up in a half smile.
“I’ll be back in a few days, my turn to do the blood sigil.” Attempting a smile. “If you still want me to.” Lips twisting in aggravation. Over what, Sam doesn’t know.
They all agreed it’s what they’re going to do. That it has to be done. Why would Gabriel...Forehead lining as his eyebrows bunch in confusion. Gabriel’s lips just get thin with some unnamed emotion. Emotions Sam is sure he’s never seen on his face before. Wonders how long it’s been since they’ve passed through him. Did helping Cas do this to him? Make him like this? More emotive than he was before? He seems more...compassionate. More...something else. Something he doesn’t have time to decipher before another noise comes from deeper inside the house, closer this time.
“Just do me a favour and try not to kill yourself while I’m gone.”
He can’t help the snort of laughter.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Suddenly smiling.
Gabriel just rolls his eyes but he can see a smile at the edge of his mouth.
They hear voices and between one blink and the next Gabriel is gone.
***
Dean is grumbling, swearing, cursing.
“Fer christ sake Dean, anyone would think...see here he...” Bobby trails off as he stops in the entrance to the room, Dean right behind him. Cas trailing behind them both, not even trying to see what the hold-up is.
“Nice couch.” Dean’s mouth is tight with disapproval.
“Oh eat me.” He can’t be bothered to argue over this. Leaning back into the soft leather with a barely concealed groan. It’s soft and supple and gorgeous. He could live on this couch. Is looking forward to sleeping on it. And he doesn’t feel guilty about it, not one little bit. Not. At. All.
Dean will be sleeping in a bed, a clean bed, he can just get over it. So what if Gabriel did something nice for once. No obvious ulterior motive involved. No grand motivation or hidden agenda behind it. Just nice, nice because he wants him to heal, get well, stop being so damn dependant on him probably. Either way, whatever it is, he can deal with it. Because this, this is a nice couch. Nice couch and he’s already drifting.
Eyes cracking open to see if he can spot Cas behind Bobby and his brother, apparently helping Cas has positive side effects. Side effects he can definitely live with.
“So where is he?” Bobby’s the first the ask.
All eyes suddenly fix on him as they move into the room. Dean even sinks down into the couch beside him with a groan, then another groan as he feels how soft and gorgeous the leather is. The cushioning underneath. When Gabriel’s feeling generous he pulls out all the stops. This thing isn’t a couch, it’s a decadent work of art.
He’s too busy grinning at Dean to answer, watching his eyes close as his head tilts back against the cushioned headrest.
Bobby makes a disgusted, impatient sound.
“So?”
“Ah, he left.” Still grinning at Dean.
Watching as Dean’s eyes open to stare at him surprised.
“I think I hate you.” But there’s no malice there, Dean’s grinning back at him.
And that’s when it hits him, that it’s been months since it’s been like this between them. Easy and simple pleasure at being in each other’s company. It’s a little weird to think it’s over something Gabriel did. But right now he’s not going to question it, right now he’s just going to bask in the fact his brother is beside him and happy.
The weight on his shoulders has lifted, even if it’s only for a moment. Dean’s eyes have lost their haunted look. If he could take a photo right now he would. It won’t last and he knows that. In another second it will be gone. Replaced by distrust, miscommunication, anger, anything, everything, the weight of the world.
“Think he’d make one for me?” Dean looks like he’d happily beg.
Which makes him start laughing. Pure and simple and clear.
“No.” Shaking his head, still grinning. “Not a chance in hell.”
And Dean’s face only gets a little sour, he’s still mostly smiling.
“But I’ll share this one with you, if you want.” Offering, hoping he’ll say yes. He wants to share this. Share something good with Dean instead of all the bad things they’ve dealt with lately. Continue to deal with day to day.
“Nah, you can’t get up and down the stairs.” Dean sighs, still relaxed though.
“Cas could zap me.” And he’s seriously offering now, he really wants to share.
Neither of them get good things, it’s always scrapping money together, barely getting by.
A quick glance to Cas who nods quietly. Dean looks between them, him and Cas then nods. Smile tinged with an edge of mild disbelief.
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
“No problem. Just don’t blame me if Gabriel comes back and changes it in the middle of the night.”
He can see Dean struggle not to say whatever sarcastic remark comes to his lips, eyes flicking up to glance at Cas, then looking around the room.
“Are we done with the love fest?” Bobby snarks impatient.
“Sorry Bobby.” He drags his attention back to more important things. Notices that Bobby’s not really angry or even annoyed, if anything he’s actually looking pleased. “He said he’d come back in a few days.” Voice faltering a little. “To do the sigil.”
“You boys still think that’s a good plan?” And it’s obvious Bobby’s not convinced.
Doubts flitter though his mind, remembering everything bad that Gabriel has ever done. It’s not a stupid question, one that even Gabriel anticipated it would seem.
After a minute he looks up at Cas, doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“I thinks it’s the best plan we can come up with right now.” He’s being serious, honest, eyes holding Cas’.
Cas doesn’t look away, stares down at him with dark blue eyes, half shadowed.
“It is better if Gabriel and I alternate.” He’s agreeing. “It should ensure it’s harder for Lucifer to locate Sam.” Cas offers by way of explanation.
“How’s that?” Bobby’s a scholar right down to his bones.
Cas paces a little, moving softly between the old TV and a coffee table that’s been pushed against the wall.
“Gabriel and I have very different energy. You would perceive us as two different patterns of light. Lucifer will eventually notice what is happening but with two different patterns it will be harder for him to trace Sam.”
Sam wants to pay attention, really he does but his eyes are already closing and Dean is actually sitting pretty close, close enough for him to feel his body heat as he slides a little sideways. Not enough to set off the falling, flying, freefall. Thank god for small mercies. But enough that he feels Dean shift closer and brace himself, allow him to rest more weight against him.
He can hear them as they continue talking. Cas answering questions that he should probably pay attention to, but Dean is here, he’s listening and Bobby’s probably taking notes so, later, he can catch up on this conversation later. Right now he can drift. They’re safe. Cas’ here. Bobby’s here. Dean’s here. Dean, after so damn long. So long it’s a deeply embedded, continuous ache. He’s missed this, missed Dean. Even though Dean’s been right here the whole time. Right here and yet he’s been gone.
***
Author: ravensilverwing
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Pre-slash Sam/Gabriel and Dean/Cas
Spoilers: Up to and including 5x08
Warnings: Swearing.
Word Count: 2,351
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Sam is still recovering from his near death experience and Gabriel takes him to Bobby's house.
Notes: Follows on from Part Twenty-One
I can't say how much everyone's comments have helped get me through writing the last few parts. So thankyou! :D
Bobby’s house is dusty, a fine layer of dirt everywhere, except for the books. Books that are lining the shelves and laying over every available flat surface. It’s the first thing he notices before his knees start to buckle and he’s falling, twisting, flying. Shit. Not again. He thought he was done with this. Hoped he was done with this. Gabriel merely wraps an arm around him and holds him up as his head rolls to his shoulder. Flying, shivering, cold.
“Hey.” Gabriel tightens his grip. “Come on Sam, pay attention here, where’s a couch, you need to lay down.”
And he can feel him shifting, head moving, looking around. Hair brushing lightly over his forehead, jaw rubbing against his skin. It’s enough to ground him, stop the slipping, sliding, stumbling feeling pulling at his gut. Destroying his balance and...
“Sam, come on kid, tell me where we’re going.”
“I’m not sure where we are.” And he thinks he might actually be slurring the words, he’s that weak with exhaustion.
“That’s because you closed your eyes.” He can tell Gabriel’s eyes are rolling, doesn’t need to see it, has heard the tone so much in the last few days, weeks, months. Christ has it been months since this all started? Either way it’s long enough to know. “Come on tiger, you need a bed.” Jostling him carefully.
Which is when he realises Gabriel is being careful, so careful with him.
“Open your eyes kid, or I’m leaving you on the floor.” Half threatening, half joking, he thinks, hopes.
“No you won’t.” Trying to sound sure of himself, digging deep and finding energy somewhere. Energy that feels like it’s already almost gone.
“You’re so sure about that?” Mock warning but he knows, he does know. Gabriel wouldn’t do that to him. He’s spent the last week taking care of him.
Taking care of him. He can’t remember a time when anyone but Dean took care of him.
Doesn’t mean he trusts Gabriel. Cause he doesn’t. Even Gabriel himself said he shouldn’t. That he’s only doing this to save his own little corner of the world, to bring Justice to people. Justice, the guy tortures people for fun.
“Hey, Sam.” Voice soft. “You okay? You listening to me?”
He wants to say he’s fine, just dandy but he’s not. Still so damn weak and tired. Head almost mush with exhaustion.
“Knew you shouldn’t have walked down to the car and back. Stubborn idiot.” And he’s starting to sound frustrated now. “Right, open those pretty little eyes and tell me where the hell we’re going or I’m ditching you here.” The arm around his back tightens almost painfully, makes him gasp. Eyes flying open despite how heavy they are.
Library. They’re in the library. Or the study. Whatever Bobby calls it. There used to be a couch in here but they took it out because Bobby needed more room to manoeuvre his wheelchair. So they put it in the bedroom upstairs. The closest place to crash is in the living room just down the hall.
As soon as he’s given Gabriel directions they’re there, no walking, shuffling, moving, just instantly there. He’s never been so grateful for angel powers til now. Suddenly standing next to the soft old couch.
“You’re going to sleep here?” Gabriel sounds incredulous. “You won’t fit.”
And he’s right. His legs hang off the end, his arm hangs off the side but he can’t make it up and down the stairs. Well he could, if he wants to spend the next six months here, instead of out fighting, fixing the mess he made. Wincing. He can work on thinking this isn’t all his fault later. He can’t believe they had a damn intervention. That even Cas got involved.
Cas who he didn’t think liked him. He’s not convinced Cas does like him, except he doesn’t seem to hate him anymore and that’s an improvement. Right?
Gabriel humps and sighs and a moment later there’s a click of his fingers. It’s a testament to how accustomed he’s become to that sound that he doesn’t even flinch or worry what the hell is going on. A testament to how overwhelmingly exhausted he is too.
“Alright, down we go, no flailing, you’re just going to sit first.”
It’s not his fault that he smacked Gabriel in the nose last time he helped him lay down. The twisting, twirling, tumbling hit suddenly, plummeting him into darkness. This time the darkness is caused by his eyes automatically closing.
He has a moment to wonder where the hell Bobby is, before he’s sinking into soft leather. Leather which is definitely not Bobby’s couch. When he cracks an eye open he sees dusky brown leather, the softest he’s ever felt and touched and petted. Fingers stroking the couch.
Gabriel snorts in laughter.
“I see you approve.”
It’s soft and brown and huge. Big enough to almost be called a bed and yet still not taking up all of the space in the smallish room. Gabriel is bending physics again, he can feel it. Bending physics because he wants him to have a big enough bed.
Frowning and straying away from that thought. He can’t afford to let his guard down. He can’t afford to trust Gabriel too much. Even as Gabriel keeps a hand on his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t slip one way or the other.
“You need more sleep kiddo.” Tone softly serious.
“Stop calling me that.” And he knows he sounds petulant, like a two year old but he can’t help it, it just comes out that way.
“What? Kid? Kiddo? Tiger?” Smirking down at him when he finally drags his eyes up. Up into amused hazel brown, gold. Just a glimmer of gold. “Would you prefer princess, sasquatch, gigantor cause I gotta say...”
Groaning. Trust him to know all the names Dean calls him.
There’s a sound deeper in the house and Gabriel’s smile cuts off, eyes swinging to the door, then back down to meet his.
“I have to go.”
“What? Why?” This isn’t part of the plan.
“Did you really think I’d be hanging around?” Frown gracing his face, bringing his brows in close. “I can’t stay Sam.”
“But...” And he doesn’t even know what he’s saying. Why he’s protesting.
Is he actually saying that he doesn’t want Gabriel to go? Fear slowly spreading. The nightmares are going to come back, they’re going to make him weak. And Cas was right, the weaker he is the easier it will be for Lucifer to use him.
Gabriel’s lips quirk up in a half smile.
“I’ll be back in a few days, my turn to do the blood sigil.” Attempting a smile. “If you still want me to.” Lips twisting in aggravation. Over what, Sam doesn’t know.
They all agreed it’s what they’re going to do. That it has to be done. Why would Gabriel...Forehead lining as his eyebrows bunch in confusion. Gabriel’s lips just get thin with some unnamed emotion. Emotions Sam is sure he’s never seen on his face before. Wonders how long it’s been since they’ve passed through him. Did helping Cas do this to him? Make him like this? More emotive than he was before? He seems more...compassionate. More...something else. Something he doesn’t have time to decipher before another noise comes from deeper inside the house, closer this time.
“Just do me a favour and try not to kill yourself while I’m gone.”
He can’t help the snort of laughter.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Suddenly smiling.
Gabriel just rolls his eyes but he can see a smile at the edge of his mouth.
They hear voices and between one blink and the next Gabriel is gone.
***
Dean is grumbling, swearing, cursing.
“Fer christ sake Dean, anyone would think...see here he...” Bobby trails off as he stops in the entrance to the room, Dean right behind him. Cas trailing behind them both, not even trying to see what the hold-up is.
“Nice couch.” Dean’s mouth is tight with disapproval.
“Oh eat me.” He can’t be bothered to argue over this. Leaning back into the soft leather with a barely concealed groan. It’s soft and supple and gorgeous. He could live on this couch. Is looking forward to sleeping on it. And he doesn’t feel guilty about it, not one little bit. Not. At. All.
Dean will be sleeping in a bed, a clean bed, he can just get over it. So what if Gabriel did something nice for once. No obvious ulterior motive involved. No grand motivation or hidden agenda behind it. Just nice, nice because he wants him to heal, get well, stop being so damn dependant on him probably. Either way, whatever it is, he can deal with it. Because this, this is a nice couch. Nice couch and he’s already drifting.
Eyes cracking open to see if he can spot Cas behind Bobby and his brother, apparently helping Cas has positive side effects. Side effects he can definitely live with.
“So where is he?” Bobby’s the first the ask.
All eyes suddenly fix on him as they move into the room. Dean even sinks down into the couch beside him with a groan, then another groan as he feels how soft and gorgeous the leather is. The cushioning underneath. When Gabriel’s feeling generous he pulls out all the stops. This thing isn’t a couch, it’s a decadent work of art.
He’s too busy grinning at Dean to answer, watching his eyes close as his head tilts back against the cushioned headrest.
Bobby makes a disgusted, impatient sound.
“So?”
“Ah, he left.” Still grinning at Dean.
Watching as Dean’s eyes open to stare at him surprised.
“I think I hate you.” But there’s no malice there, Dean’s grinning back at him.
And that’s when it hits him, that it’s been months since it’s been like this between them. Easy and simple pleasure at being in each other’s company. It’s a little weird to think it’s over something Gabriel did. But right now he’s not going to question it, right now he’s just going to bask in the fact his brother is beside him and happy.
The weight on his shoulders has lifted, even if it’s only for a moment. Dean’s eyes have lost their haunted look. If he could take a photo right now he would. It won’t last and he knows that. In another second it will be gone. Replaced by distrust, miscommunication, anger, anything, everything, the weight of the world.
“Think he’d make one for me?” Dean looks like he’d happily beg.
Which makes him start laughing. Pure and simple and clear.
“No.” Shaking his head, still grinning. “Not a chance in hell.”
And Dean’s face only gets a little sour, he’s still mostly smiling.
“But I’ll share this one with you, if you want.” Offering, hoping he’ll say yes. He wants to share this. Share something good with Dean instead of all the bad things they’ve dealt with lately. Continue to deal with day to day.
“Nah, you can’t get up and down the stairs.” Dean sighs, still relaxed though.
“Cas could zap me.” And he’s seriously offering now, he really wants to share.
Neither of them get good things, it’s always scrapping money together, barely getting by.
A quick glance to Cas who nods quietly. Dean looks between them, him and Cas then nods. Smile tinged with an edge of mild disbelief.
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
“No problem. Just don’t blame me if Gabriel comes back and changes it in the middle of the night.”
He can see Dean struggle not to say whatever sarcastic remark comes to his lips, eyes flicking up to glance at Cas, then looking around the room.
“Are we done with the love fest?” Bobby snarks impatient.
“Sorry Bobby.” He drags his attention back to more important things. Notices that Bobby’s not really angry or even annoyed, if anything he’s actually looking pleased. “He said he’d come back in a few days.” Voice faltering a little. “To do the sigil.”
“You boys still think that’s a good plan?” And it’s obvious Bobby’s not convinced.
Doubts flitter though his mind, remembering everything bad that Gabriel has ever done. It’s not a stupid question, one that even Gabriel anticipated it would seem.
After a minute he looks up at Cas, doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“I thinks it’s the best plan we can come up with right now.” He’s being serious, honest, eyes holding Cas’.
Cas doesn’t look away, stares down at him with dark blue eyes, half shadowed.
“It is better if Gabriel and I alternate.” He’s agreeing. “It should ensure it’s harder for Lucifer to locate Sam.” Cas offers by way of explanation.
“How’s that?” Bobby’s a scholar right down to his bones.
Cas paces a little, moving softly between the old TV and a coffee table that’s been pushed against the wall.
“Gabriel and I have very different energy. You would perceive us as two different patterns of light. Lucifer will eventually notice what is happening but with two different patterns it will be harder for him to trace Sam.”
Sam wants to pay attention, really he does but his eyes are already closing and Dean is actually sitting pretty close, close enough for him to feel his body heat as he slides a little sideways. Not enough to set off the falling, flying, freefall. Thank god for small mercies. But enough that he feels Dean shift closer and brace himself, allow him to rest more weight against him.
He can hear them as they continue talking. Cas answering questions that he should probably pay attention to, but Dean is here, he’s listening and Bobby’s probably taking notes so, later, he can catch up on this conversation later. Right now he can drift. They’re safe. Cas’ here. Bobby’s here. Dean’s here. Dean, after so damn long. So long it’s a deeply embedded, continuous ache. He’s missed this, missed Dean. Even though Dean’s been right here the whole time. Right here and yet he’s been gone.
***