Frickin Jesus
Today I feel about my God kind of the same way I feel about my president and my pastors. I really do like him. I’d have him over for dinner; he’d probably bring really good wine or an amazing dessert. I just don’t trust him anymore.
My prayers feel like a tithe that wouldn’t even buy communion wafers. They feel like my votes. One crazy liberal drop in a giant conservative bucket. I feel like I have more chances of voting someone off So You Think You Can Dance than having my most fundamental request answered.
It’s worse though because my president and my pastor, they would make everything right if they could, but they can’t because they are human and that’s ok. I know that my God can! I am left with this gnawing anger the more I realize he can and just won’t.
If Jesus is collecting our tears in a jar I’m starting to wonder if he is selling them on the black market. If Jesus is weeping with us today, even howling with us I kind of want to tell him to shut up. Fix it if you care so damn much.
Don’t get your knickers in a twist! Jesus can handle being told off. I’m sure I’m not the first or the last. I realize that my feelings are not the truth. God is still God and still perfect and whatever. His ways are not my own blah blah blah. He is right and I am wrong, but sitting here with my tiny human mind and my enormous human heart “right” still sucks!
I am not worried about offending Jesus. I am a little worried about offending people. More worried about hurting of dragging down further those who are in the middle of this tragedy. I can kind of get Jesus not answering me. We don’t hang out often. I don’t call enough. I sometimes even screen his calls, but not this family. If Jesus owes anyone a miracle it’s these people. In fact the only reason Jesus and I are still speaking is to lift them up.
Please don’t respond to this with inane bullshit about everything happening for a reason and God not giving us things we can’t handle. I may not be able to actually kick Jesus, but I can kick you.
My prayers feel like a tithe that wouldn’t even buy communion wafers. They feel like my votes. One crazy liberal drop in a giant conservative bucket. I feel like I have more chances of voting someone off So You Think You Can Dance than having my most fundamental request answered.
It’s worse though because my president and my pastor, they would make everything right if they could, but they can’t because they are human and that’s ok. I know that my God can! I am left with this gnawing anger the more I realize he can and just won’t.
If Jesus is collecting our tears in a jar I’m starting to wonder if he is selling them on the black market. If Jesus is weeping with us today, even howling with us I kind of want to tell him to shut up. Fix it if you care so damn much.
Don’t get your knickers in a twist! Jesus can handle being told off. I’m sure I’m not the first or the last. I realize that my feelings are not the truth. God is still God and still perfect and whatever. His ways are not my own blah blah blah. He is right and I am wrong, but sitting here with my tiny human mind and my enormous human heart “right” still sucks!
I am not worried about offending Jesus. I am a little worried about offending people. More worried about hurting of dragging down further those who are in the middle of this tragedy. I can kind of get Jesus not answering me. We don’t hang out often. I don’t call enough. I sometimes even screen his calls, but not this family. If Jesus owes anyone a miracle it’s these people. In fact the only reason Jesus and I are still speaking is to lift them up.
Please don’t respond to this with inane bullshit about everything happening for a reason and God not giving us things we can’t handle. I may not be able to actually kick Jesus, but I can kick you.