Doomed?
I have serious issues.
So i was driving to work. I was smoking a cig when i decided to ash out the window. Of course the cherrie flys off (the burning part of the tobacco) and flies back into my car. It landed on my seat near my shoulder and started to burn my seat cover. So i try to brush it off and instead it falls off and strait down into my pants. Now i have two GIANT blisters on my back right above my butt. OUCH!!!
Anyhow, i ran into my friend shawn today at school. We worked at Steve's together a year or so back. He is doing ok but he feels pretty low. His girlfriend decided to up and move to Memphis and he lost his job. Poor guy.
So i am learning to cope with the idea of my boyfriend moving away. I know i keep saying that, and that i keep bringing this subject up. The truth of the matter is that i talk to myself about it all day long, and i guess it feels a little better to type it out where very few people will see it. (and anyone who doesn't want to read it doesn't have to).I guess i am just affraid because i am trying something new. Not just new- but totally difficult. I am worried about whether or not he will even want to come back, and if he does come back is he still gonna want me. I am worried that i am gonna screw something up. I plan to live by the idea that i won't do anything that i wouldn't want him to do. And if i am ever uncertain as to whether or not something i am about to do is wrong, i am better off just not doing it. I have a terrible habit of acting before i think.
But this isn't just about what i can screw up. What do i do when he makes mistakes? What about his unbearable habit of risking his life for thrills? I love this man more than i can possibly convey. He has given me a chance to be who i really am, and asks only that i do it in style :) He meets all of my criteria. He is the one for me. And i know that Fairy Tales dictate that destiny will preveil and i know that everything happens for a reason. And i know what is meant to be shall be... and all the other stupid shit that people say to each other in time of need... But seriously- i need advice and i am way too proud to ask for it... So...yeah...
So i was driving to work. I was smoking a cig when i decided to ash out the window. Of course the cherrie flys off (the burning part of the tobacco) and flies back into my car. It landed on my seat near my shoulder and started to burn my seat cover. So i try to brush it off and instead it falls off and strait down into my pants. Now i have two GIANT blisters on my back right above my butt. OUCH!!!
Anyhow, i ran into my friend shawn today at school. We worked at Steve's together a year or so back. He is doing ok but he feels pretty low. His girlfriend decided to up and move to Memphis and he lost his job. Poor guy.
So i am learning to cope with the idea of my boyfriend moving away. I know i keep saying that, and that i keep bringing this subject up. The truth of the matter is that i talk to myself about it all day long, and i guess it feels a little better to type it out where very few people will see it. (and anyone who doesn't want to read it doesn't have to).I guess i am just affraid because i am trying something new. Not just new- but totally difficult. I am worried about whether or not he will even want to come back, and if he does come back is he still gonna want me. I am worried that i am gonna screw something up. I plan to live by the idea that i won't do anything that i wouldn't want him to do. And if i am ever uncertain as to whether or not something i am about to do is wrong, i am better off just not doing it. I have a terrible habit of acting before i think.
But this isn't just about what i can screw up. What do i do when he makes mistakes? What about his unbearable habit of risking his life for thrills? I love this man more than i can possibly convey. He has given me a chance to be who i really am, and asks only that i do it in style :) He meets all of my criteria. He is the one for me. And i know that Fairy Tales dictate that destiny will preveil and i know that everything happens for a reason. And i know what is meant to be shall be... and all the other stupid shit that people say to each other in time of need... But seriously- i need advice and i am way too proud to ask for it... So...yeah...