Becoming an English writing student (again)
Today I had my first Senior Seminar in Nonfiction class. The last time I took an actual nonfiction writing class was probably second semester sophomore year; it might’ve been the beginning of my junior year. Either way it’s been over 2 years, time enough to make me nervous about being expected to take those fundamentals I learned years ago and turn them into solid, polished work worthy of professional status.
My professor opened the class by telling us that we should be calling ourselves writers, now that we’ve made it this far. But I didn’t feel like a writer, more like a renegade business student hiding the fact that I’ve been studying accounting procedures and Porter’s Five Forces for the past two years. I never called myself a writer, and sitting in that classroom I certainly didn’t feel I could justify myself as one. Any passion or drive I had felt years ago had been muffled by my business classes and immersion into tax work.
Next I was asked to identify my favorite nonfiction authors and the last three nonfiction works I’d read. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t remember the last time I had read a creative nonfiction essay or profile, and I could barely recall who my favorite authors had been. I was also asked to “explain my writing style.” I don’t think of myself as even having a style, but I wrote something down about interest in the essay form and memoir. I thought that surely my professor would be able to figure out that I wasn’t actively writing or reading nonfiction.
However, as we starting discussing each other’s ideas, interests, and favorite forms of writing, it was as if the right side of my brain jump-started and came back to life. I forgot about brainstorming and discussion of ideas. Hearing others talk about what they’d like to do helped me form my own ideas, and when it was my turn to speak I was able to actually pitch an idea.
The business school is a whole other world. They think differently over there; most classes teach you the way to do something, the only way. There is little active discussion, instead presentation of methods and facts form the basis for the classes. I don’t think this is necessarily worse than the way arts & sciences works, it’s just completely different. Spending the last two years in that world had caused my brainstorming skills to become a little rusty.
However as I sat thinking about my senior writing project, I realized that for me, having a combination of the two schools balances me out. With writing, I was always afraid to fail, to lack ideas or initiative, and to not possess the talent needed to produce great pieces. It really shouldn’t be surprising to me that I latched onto the business school idea - there were less ideas and creativity needed, it was very straightforward. It was nice to learn the way to process accounting transactions, the rules of finance calculations, and the methods of strategic analysis.
Today my English skills came back to life and it was refreshing to realize that I could still think that way if I wanted, to attempt to write without the pressure of relying on my skills for a living. While it may seem weird to have two completely opposing knowledge skill sets, for me it works.
I hope to write a series of essays for my senior writing project detailing my time in the business school, dealing with the ambition-driven business kids while feeling like a business school outcast, maybe something about working in an office environment, or figuring out why I love doing taxes. We’ll see how this works out. I’m excited to use the other half of my brain for a while.
My professor opened the class by telling us that we should be calling ourselves writers, now that we’ve made it this far. But I didn’t feel like a writer, more like a renegade business student hiding the fact that I’ve been studying accounting procedures and Porter’s Five Forces for the past two years. I never called myself a writer, and sitting in that classroom I certainly didn’t feel I could justify myself as one. Any passion or drive I had felt years ago had been muffled by my business classes and immersion into tax work.
Next I was asked to identify my favorite nonfiction authors and the last three nonfiction works I’d read. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t remember the last time I had read a creative nonfiction essay or profile, and I could barely recall who my favorite authors had been. I was also asked to “explain my writing style.” I don’t think of myself as even having a style, but I wrote something down about interest in the essay form and memoir. I thought that surely my professor would be able to figure out that I wasn’t actively writing or reading nonfiction.
However, as we starting discussing each other’s ideas, interests, and favorite forms of writing, it was as if the right side of my brain jump-started and came back to life. I forgot about brainstorming and discussion of ideas. Hearing others talk about what they’d like to do helped me form my own ideas, and when it was my turn to speak I was able to actually pitch an idea.
The business school is a whole other world. They think differently over there; most classes teach you the way to do something, the only way. There is little active discussion, instead presentation of methods and facts form the basis for the classes. I don’t think this is necessarily worse than the way arts & sciences works, it’s just completely different. Spending the last two years in that world had caused my brainstorming skills to become a little rusty.
However as I sat thinking about my senior writing project, I realized that for me, having a combination of the two schools balances me out. With writing, I was always afraid to fail, to lack ideas or initiative, and to not possess the talent needed to produce great pieces. It really shouldn’t be surprising to me that I latched onto the business school idea - there were less ideas and creativity needed, it was very straightforward. It was nice to learn the way to process accounting transactions, the rules of finance calculations, and the methods of strategic analysis.
Today my English skills came back to life and it was refreshing to realize that I could still think that way if I wanted, to attempt to write without the pressure of relying on my skills for a living. While it may seem weird to have two completely opposing knowledge skill sets, for me it works.
I hope to write a series of essays for my senior writing project detailing my time in the business school, dealing with the ambition-driven business kids while feeling like a business school outcast, maybe something about working in an office environment, or figuring out why I love doing taxes. We’ll see how this works out. I’m excited to use the other half of my brain for a while.