...this is weird.
I'm sitting in my dorm room now, all moved in, posters up, computer running. The speakers won't work but I can't ask Dad to fix that because he's gone. Mom & Dad just gave their last goodbyes and left a few minutes ago.
I really don't know how to feel. I've done nervous breakdown. I've done terror. I've done grief. I've cried a lot (including just now, when the parents left.) My hands are shaking. But at the same time everyone here has been so cool and I've already borrowed Invader Zim on DVD and have plans to meet up with people and I'm hyped and happy. It's a complete overload. I wish I was a computer so I could just crash and have someone else fix me.
The roomie is really cool but not freshman-y at all, as she's been here 2 years and has enough credits to be a sophomore. So I'm still kinda alone on that front. She's gone now, too, so I've got the room to myself. It's weird. It's quiet. Even quieter because my speakers don't work so I can't play music.
Going to dinner now, so maybe activity will counteract the funk.
ETA: Later now, about 10:30. When I'm doing things the funk goes away. When I'm just sitting alone in my room I can only think how bizarre it feels that this isn't a vacation and I can't go home in a week or two.
So I'm gonna write, thereby focusing my energy on someone else's issues and avoiding the problem, a thing which I am good at.
I know this will pass. But that doesn't stop it from happening.
I really don't know how to feel. I've done nervous breakdown. I've done terror. I've done grief. I've cried a lot (including just now, when the parents left.) My hands are shaking. But at the same time everyone here has been so cool and I've already borrowed Invader Zim on DVD and have plans to meet up with people and I'm hyped and happy. It's a complete overload. I wish I was a computer so I could just crash and have someone else fix me.
The roomie is really cool but not freshman-y at all, as she's been here 2 years and has enough credits to be a sophomore. So I'm still kinda alone on that front. She's gone now, too, so I've got the room to myself. It's weird. It's quiet. Even quieter because my speakers don't work so I can't play music.
Going to dinner now, so maybe activity will counteract the funk.
ETA: Later now, about 10:30. When I'm doing things the funk goes away. When I'm just sitting alone in my room I can only think how bizarre it feels that this isn't a vacation and I can't go home in a week or two.
So I'm gonna write, thereby focusing my energy on someone else's issues and avoiding the problem, a thing which I am good at.
I know this will pass. But that doesn't stop it from happening.