Counting the Days...
A lot has happened since the last time I posted. Too much to mention in a single LJ post. My life has changed utterly and irreversibly since that time. For good or ill. There have been choices that I have made that I regret a great deal, while others I've never been happier with. I could sit here all night writing. Days writing. Weeks writing. It has been the most eventful two and a half years of my life. So much to say...
While some of you will definitely not like what I will write over the next while, I am not asking you to read this. All of this is for me. It has a purpose. For the first time in my life, I found what truly matters in the world. And why it matters to me. It has reached down into the very depths of my soul and ensnared me forever. ...but its okay.
This path I've chosen is rife with emotion. I haven't always made the right decision, but I have always trusted that I'm not walking blindly, no matter how little I "see". Almost everything I have done these past couple years has felt "right", like it was something that I was supposed to do. Some call me crazy. Others use the word obsessive or even, hopeless. But they don't understand. Maybe they will someday, when this feeling is deep inside of them.
It guides me. I have seen and felt much in my life, so I know now how genuine this is. My motivations have been questioned. And I have had my moments of weakness. Those of you who care, will get a closer look into my life than anyone ever has. This will be a journey into a "lifetime" of only a couple years.
Why? Because it needs to be done. I feel it does. It needs to be seen someday. By someone very specific. My life has reached a point where nothing else matters. It is everything to me. My hopes, dreams...the very fabric of my life is tied to it. So over the coming days, weeks, or even months...I will have much to say.
While some of you will definitely not like what I will write over the next while, I am not asking you to read this. All of this is for me. It has a purpose. For the first time in my life, I found what truly matters in the world. And why it matters to me. It has reached down into the very depths of my soul and ensnared me forever. ...but its okay.
This path I've chosen is rife with emotion. I haven't always made the right decision, but I have always trusted that I'm not walking blindly, no matter how little I "see". Almost everything I have done these past couple years has felt "right", like it was something that I was supposed to do. Some call me crazy. Others use the word obsessive or even, hopeless. But they don't understand. Maybe they will someday, when this feeling is deep inside of them.
It guides me. I have seen and felt much in my life, so I know now how genuine this is. My motivations have been questioned. And I have had my moments of weakness. Those of you who care, will get a closer look into my life than anyone ever has. This will be a journey into a "lifetime" of only a couple years.
Why? Because it needs to be done. I feel it does. It needs to be seen someday. By someone very specific. My life has reached a point where nothing else matters. It is everything to me. My hopes, dreams...the very fabric of my life is tied to it. So over the coming days, weeks, or even months...I will have much to say.