Pray for the grace of understanding
My mom called unexpectedly Friday and invited me to lunch. She was right down the street, so I agreed to meet her at Panera. I almost didn't recognize her when I walked in. She was wearing a wig, and while the color's the same, the style is very different. My dad shaved her head Thursday night, which I'm sure had to suck. I didn't ask many questions, though. I know if I was in her shoes I wouldn't want to talk about it. She's breaking out, and I'm not sure why. I assume the chemo's causing it; maybe she's having an allergic reaction to the wig, I don't know. She got a turban and a few skull caps to wear around the house and at night to keep her head warm. The thought of my mom wearing a skull cap is laughable. It's just not her. She has one more chemo treatment for sure, and then has a CAT Scan on my birthday. Blah. She goes to the doctor the following Monday to look at the results, and will probably have another chemo treatment. As much as I can philosophize about pain and suffering, going through it is quite different. I hate to see people I love suffering, especially when there's nothing I can do. It sucks. I normally deal with my problems by not acknowledging them, breaking down every now and then, but eventually getting over them. It helps if I don't think about them too often, otherwise I obsess and that's not healthy. This is a tad different. I can't ignore my mom. I have to figure this out, and I'm not quite sure how to do it.
The Youth Group retreat went well. The teens really seemed to enjoy it, participated in discussions, bonded with adults and other teens, and had fun. I didn't sleep there Saturday evening, which contributed to my general well-being. AKA, I wasn't cranky when I woke up Sunday morning. :-) Matt and I got to talk for a bit, which was good. I haven't seen him in awhile, and since I normally see him at Mass and then Youth Group, we don't really get to talk. At least, we don't get to have heart to hearts. He laughed when I found a cowboy hat and put it on for the duration of the afternoon. I cried a lot Saturday evening...more than I expected to anyway. I knew I would...especially after I saw my mom Friday, but I didn't expect it to be as bad as it was. I calmed down enough to make it to confession, where I promptly started crying. I don't think Fr. Joe knew what to do with me; it was kinda amusing. I'm glad I got to go on retreat, but I'm not sure if I can keep making a commitment to it, especially with school. I really need my weekends to do homework. I feel bad, but I need to make school a priority. We'll see what happens in May.
For the past couple weeks I've spent my weeknights on the couch stressing over homework. I ignored phone calls from friends, skipped out on the gym all last week, and ate whatever I wanted. Probably not the wisest decision in the world, but you'll have that. I've decided I'm going to the gym every day this week. Well, at least Monday through Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland at St.VM Thursday or Friday, which rules out the gym. I'd really like to go Thursday, but we'll see how that works out. And if you left me a VM and I still haven't returned it, I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend and prioritized homework and sleep over you. I'm working on it.
Malia and I started planning my birthday "stuff" last night. We're going to dinner at Crave and then coming back here for a party. Ice cream, wine, beer, alcohol, and other food will be provided. We're dressing up...I have to find a dress. If you'd like to join the festivities, please let me know so I can tell Malia. The more the merrier.
My birthday week/weekend is going to be busy. I'm going out Wednesday, going to my parents Thursday, going out Friday, and going to another family dinner Saturday. Sunday is my day of rest. My mother has extended the Thanksgiving invitation to my friends, so if you don't want to be with your family that day, or can't go see them, feel free to crash at my house. Seriously, my parents would love to have you. And my brothers and sisters will think you are the coolest people around. They think my friends are thousands of times cooler than I. Wonder why that is?
The Youth Group retreat went well. The teens really seemed to enjoy it, participated in discussions, bonded with adults and other teens, and had fun. I didn't sleep there Saturday evening, which contributed to my general well-being. AKA, I wasn't cranky when I woke up Sunday morning. :-) Matt and I got to talk for a bit, which was good. I haven't seen him in awhile, and since I normally see him at Mass and then Youth Group, we don't really get to talk. At least, we don't get to have heart to hearts. He laughed when I found a cowboy hat and put it on for the duration of the afternoon. I cried a lot Saturday evening...more than I expected to anyway. I knew I would...especially after I saw my mom Friday, but I didn't expect it to be as bad as it was. I calmed down enough to make it to confession, where I promptly started crying. I don't think Fr. Joe knew what to do with me; it was kinda amusing. I'm glad I got to go on retreat, but I'm not sure if I can keep making a commitment to it, especially with school. I really need my weekends to do homework. I feel bad, but I need to make school a priority. We'll see what happens in May.
For the past couple weeks I've spent my weeknights on the couch stressing over homework. I ignored phone calls from friends, skipped out on the gym all last week, and ate whatever I wanted. Probably not the wisest decision in the world, but you'll have that. I've decided I'm going to the gym every day this week. Well, at least Monday through Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland at St.VM Thursday or Friday, which rules out the gym. I'd really like to go Thursday, but we'll see how that works out. And if you left me a VM and I still haven't returned it, I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend and prioritized homework and sleep over you. I'm working on it.
Malia and I started planning my birthday "stuff" last night. We're going to dinner at Crave and then coming back here for a party. Ice cream, wine, beer, alcohol, and other food will be provided. We're dressing up...I have to find a dress. If you'd like to join the festivities, please let me know so I can tell Malia. The more the merrier.
My birthday week/weekend is going to be busy. I'm going out Wednesday, going to my parents Thursday, going out Friday, and going to another family dinner Saturday. Sunday is my day of rest. My mother has extended the Thanksgiving invitation to my friends, so if you don't want to be with your family that day, or can't go see them, feel free to crash at my house. Seriously, my parents would love to have you. And my brothers and sisters will think you are the coolest people around. They think my friends are thousands of times cooler than I. Wonder why that is?