(no subject)
Title: Chasing Dreams
Author: raven_kerry
Beta-reader: onthaedge
Artist: marsmaywander
Word-count: 44’038
Rating: M
Summary: Growing up as a psychic in Ohio is difficult. Throw in being gay and a dream-boyfriend and it’s that much more difficult.
Kurt has always been able to see things through other people’s eyes, hear their thoughts and feel their pain and emotions as if they were his own. It’s difficult to go on when you literally feel how much people hate you. This is his story.
Pairing: Kadam
Warnings: suicide attempt and ideation, mentioned non-con towards adults and children, violence, pagan beliefs
Author’s Note: This is a gift for my wonderful beta, onthaedge, since she requested I write the scene, but the story was supposed to have already been sent in. So, without further ado, I give you the missing scene.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Epilogue | Excerpt: Of Meetings
Excerpt: Of Meetings
Kurt lay on his bed in a ball, cuddling his teddy bear, as silent tears poured down his youthful face. Upstairs he could hear his daddy talking with the other grown-ups; trying, in vain, to push the pain away in order to deal with the mundane world. Kurt didn’t understand how he could. He felt that he was being swallowed by his and other people’s pain at losing his mommy.
Both of these were part of the reason he was hiding away in his room. He’d hoped that it would hurt less if they were further from him. It hadn’t helped. Instead, it had just let him feel his own pain stronger. The other reason was that he didn’t want to be a burden to his daddy. He was dealing with enough already. He didn’t need Kurt hanging on to him. He’d practically said as much the night Kurt’s mommy had died.
Kurt was exhausted, but refused to sleep. He didn’t want to see him mommy die again. He didn’t want to see other people dying or hurting themselves or others. His daddy had tried to get him to sleep and to eat, but Kurt didn’t want to. The food tasted wrong because it wasn’t mommy’s cooking and when he slept the dreams and visions would come. Kurt didn’t want to watch and feel his mommy dying over and over again in his dreams, but if he wasn’t having a vision; it was usually about his mommy.
Unfortunately, though, Kurt had yet to master this thing his daddy called insomnia, and kept falling asleep against his will. He knew that this would be one of those times as his eyes slipped closed again and he found it more difficult every time to open them up again. Finally they slipped closed and stayed that way as he fell asleep to the sound of his father and uncle talking.
***
Kurt woke to find himself in a familiar place and smiled. He liked it there. It meant that he wouldn’t be seeing things that night. He quickly left the woods to enter into the cleared area around the cabin and pond.
When he entered the area, though, much to his surprise, there was another boy there. He looked to be several years older than Kurt. He seemed vaguely familiar, as if Kurt had seen him before. Kurt felt drawn to him and his blond hair and blue eyes, but he didn’t understand why. So, he decided to ignore the feeling, instead focusing on the second strongest emotion he was feeling: annoyance.
This was Kurt’s place to rest in. He didn’t need other kids or grown-ups there bothering him. He got enough of that in school. He didn’t want to be bullied at his cabin as well. It wasn’t fair. This was his place. Why did he have to share it?
Kurt scowled at the intruder and stated, “You don’t belong here.”
The other boy countered with, “Where is here?” He had a strange accent that Kurt had only ever heard on TV. Part of Kurt really liked it. He figured it was because it didn’t sound like the way the bullies at school spoke.
“Here is -” Kurt floundered, “here. And seeing as you don’t know where you are, you should leave, because you don’t belong here. This is my place.”
The blond just smiled awkwardly. “I’m sorry for intruding, but how can I return without knowing how I got here? Last I knew I was going to sleep in my hospital bed and then I was suddenly here.”
“You’re sick?” Kurt bit his lip and felt slightly bad. “I’m sorry.”
The other boy just smiled softly. “I was sick but I’m getting better now.”
“Why are you in the hospital, if you’re not sick anymore?”
“Well, you see, my kidneys stopped working. I was lucky and they were able to find a new one for me. They had to open me up though. I’ll have a wicked scar once I’m healed though. All the other boys are going to be so jealous.”
“Can I see?” Kurt asked.
The blond shook his head. “No, it isn’t healed yet. I have a Band-Aid covering it and the doctors would be mad if I took it off to look at it.”
“Oh.” Kurt gave him a slightly disappointed look.
“I’ll show it to you once it’s healed, okay? I promise.”
Kurt smiled. “Thanks!”
“So, um, since you can’t tell me where we are, could you maybe tell me who you are?”
“I’m -” Kurt found himself unable to say his name. He tried again, “I’m -” He pursed his lips and scowled. “You go first!”
The other boy shook his head. “No, you go first. I’m older and the youngest always starts.”
“I’m -” Kurt tried again before stomping his foot in frustration. “I can’t do it! I can’t say my name!"
The other boy replied, “I’ll try then. I’m -” he broke off. “I can’t seem to say it either. How strange. Well, let’s try with other information then and see what we can say.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Don’t be such a baby.”
“I’m eight! I’m not a baby!”
“And I’m twelve. You’re younger than me so I can call you a baby if I want to.” There was a moment of silence as Kurt pouted and tried to ignore the other boy. “Okay, fine, be that way. I’ll start. I’m from the United Kingdom, Britain to be exact. I’ve been in the hospital for a few weeks now, but have been able to keep up at school, because my mum picks up my school work for me every day, helps me understand it and drops off the finished pieces. I miss going to school.”
“Why would you miss school?”
“Because, it’s boring being in the hospital. I didn’t think I’d miss it in the beginning. Now I envy the people who are healthy and able to do normal things like that. I look forward to finally leaving and going back to school. It’s a public school with a focus on arts. I wanted to go there for so long and after I finally got in, my health deteriorated.”
“An art school? Shouldn’t it be a private school then, if you have to pay tuition?”
“No, it’s a public one, because not everyone is let in and you have to pay tuition."
“That’s the definition of a private school."
“No, they let anyone into private schools.”
Kurt huffed. “You’re wrong. I know what I’m talking about.”
The other boy insisted, “No, you’re wrong. I’m the older one of us. I know more about this than you do. Now tell me about yourself.”
“I’m American and live in -” he paused, unable to say Lima, before continuing, “a town in Ohio. I live alone with my daddy because my mommy just died. Sometimes I see things that are happening elsewhere, feel things that other people are feeling or hear their thoughts. I don’t like school. I like to learn, but I don’t like school. The other boys there are mean.”
The blond pre-teen clapped his hands. “You feel things that other people are too? That’s great! I’m not alone!”
Kurt paused for a moment. “Wait, if you’re English, you must like tea, right?"
The boy nodded. “Yeah, we drink a lot of it. Why?"
“Let’s have a tea party!”
“But there isn’t anything to have the tea party with, silly."
Kurt shook his head. “No, there is! Just close your eyes very tightly and think about what you want and it’ll show up. Trust me.”
The two of them closed their eyes tightly and thought about the table, chairs, teapot and cups, complete with a dish for the cream and another for the sugar. They thought about cookies, cake and scones. When they opened their eyes again they found the table there decked out with everything the two of them had individually imagined.
They sat down and the other boy poured the tea for both of them. Kurt noted how well he held the pot and later his cup - never once using his pinky finger. “You know, you’re the first guy I’ve known who’s actually done this right.”
“My mother taught me well.”
Kurt giggled. “I think I like you.”
The blond smiled back warmly.
“That’s good, because I like you too.”
The End
Author: raven_kerry
Beta-reader: onthaedge
Artist: marsmaywander
Word-count: 44’038
Rating: M
Summary: Growing up as a psychic in Ohio is difficult. Throw in being gay and a dream-boyfriend and it’s that much more difficult.
Kurt has always been able to see things through other people’s eyes, hear their thoughts and feel their pain and emotions as if they were his own. It’s difficult to go on when you literally feel how much people hate you. This is his story.
Pairing: Kadam
Warnings: suicide attempt and ideation, mentioned non-con towards adults and children, violence, pagan beliefs
Author’s Note: This is a gift for my wonderful beta, onthaedge, since she requested I write the scene, but the story was supposed to have already been sent in. So, without further ado, I give you the missing scene.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Epilogue | Excerpt: Of Meetings
Excerpt: Of Meetings
Kurt lay on his bed in a ball, cuddling his teddy bear, as silent tears poured down his youthful face. Upstairs he could hear his daddy talking with the other grown-ups; trying, in vain, to push the pain away in order to deal with the mundane world. Kurt didn’t understand how he could. He felt that he was being swallowed by his and other people’s pain at losing his mommy.
Both of these were part of the reason he was hiding away in his room. He’d hoped that it would hurt less if they were further from him. It hadn’t helped. Instead, it had just let him feel his own pain stronger. The other reason was that he didn’t want to be a burden to his daddy. He was dealing with enough already. He didn’t need Kurt hanging on to him. He’d practically said as much the night Kurt’s mommy had died.
Kurt was exhausted, but refused to sleep. He didn’t want to see him mommy die again. He didn’t want to see other people dying or hurting themselves or others. His daddy had tried to get him to sleep and to eat, but Kurt didn’t want to. The food tasted wrong because it wasn’t mommy’s cooking and when he slept the dreams and visions would come. Kurt didn’t want to watch and feel his mommy dying over and over again in his dreams, but if he wasn’t having a vision; it was usually about his mommy.
Unfortunately, though, Kurt had yet to master this thing his daddy called insomnia, and kept falling asleep against his will. He knew that this would be one of those times as his eyes slipped closed again and he found it more difficult every time to open them up again. Finally they slipped closed and stayed that way as he fell asleep to the sound of his father and uncle talking.
***
Kurt woke to find himself in a familiar place and smiled. He liked it there. It meant that he wouldn’t be seeing things that night. He quickly left the woods to enter into the cleared area around the cabin and pond.
When he entered the area, though, much to his surprise, there was another boy there. He looked to be several years older than Kurt. He seemed vaguely familiar, as if Kurt had seen him before. Kurt felt drawn to him and his blond hair and blue eyes, but he didn’t understand why. So, he decided to ignore the feeling, instead focusing on the second strongest emotion he was feeling: annoyance.
This was Kurt’s place to rest in. He didn’t need other kids or grown-ups there bothering him. He got enough of that in school. He didn’t want to be bullied at his cabin as well. It wasn’t fair. This was his place. Why did he have to share it?
Kurt scowled at the intruder and stated, “You don’t belong here.”
The other boy countered with, “Where is here?” He had a strange accent that Kurt had only ever heard on TV. Part of Kurt really liked it. He figured it was because it didn’t sound like the way the bullies at school spoke.
“Here is -” Kurt floundered, “here. And seeing as you don’t know where you are, you should leave, because you don’t belong here. This is my place.”
The blond just smiled awkwardly. “I’m sorry for intruding, but how can I return without knowing how I got here? Last I knew I was going to sleep in my hospital bed and then I was suddenly here.”
“You’re sick?” Kurt bit his lip and felt slightly bad. “I’m sorry.”
The other boy just smiled softly. “I was sick but I’m getting better now.”
“Why are you in the hospital, if you’re not sick anymore?”
“Well, you see, my kidneys stopped working. I was lucky and they were able to find a new one for me. They had to open me up though. I’ll have a wicked scar once I’m healed though. All the other boys are going to be so jealous.”
“Can I see?” Kurt asked.
The blond shook his head. “No, it isn’t healed yet. I have a Band-Aid covering it and the doctors would be mad if I took it off to look at it.”
“Oh.” Kurt gave him a slightly disappointed look.
“I’ll show it to you once it’s healed, okay? I promise.”
Kurt smiled. “Thanks!”
“So, um, since you can’t tell me where we are, could you maybe tell me who you are?”
“I’m -” Kurt found himself unable to say his name. He tried again, “I’m -” He pursed his lips and scowled. “You go first!”
The other boy shook his head. “No, you go first. I’m older and the youngest always starts.”
“I’m -” Kurt tried again before stomping his foot in frustration. “I can’t do it! I can’t say my name!"
The other boy replied, “I’ll try then. I’m -” he broke off. “I can’t seem to say it either. How strange. Well, let’s try with other information then and see what we can say.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Don’t be such a baby.”
“I’m eight! I’m not a baby!”
“And I’m twelve. You’re younger than me so I can call you a baby if I want to.” There was a moment of silence as Kurt pouted and tried to ignore the other boy. “Okay, fine, be that way. I’ll start. I’m from the United Kingdom, Britain to be exact. I’ve been in the hospital for a few weeks now, but have been able to keep up at school, because my mum picks up my school work for me every day, helps me understand it and drops off the finished pieces. I miss going to school.”
“Why would you miss school?”
“Because, it’s boring being in the hospital. I didn’t think I’d miss it in the beginning. Now I envy the people who are healthy and able to do normal things like that. I look forward to finally leaving and going back to school. It’s a public school with a focus on arts. I wanted to go there for so long and after I finally got in, my health deteriorated.”
“An art school? Shouldn’t it be a private school then, if you have to pay tuition?”
“No, it’s a public one, because not everyone is let in and you have to pay tuition."
“That’s the definition of a private school."
“No, they let anyone into private schools.”
Kurt huffed. “You’re wrong. I know what I’m talking about.”
The other boy insisted, “No, you’re wrong. I’m the older one of us. I know more about this than you do. Now tell me about yourself.”
“I’m American and live in -” he paused, unable to say Lima, before continuing, “a town in Ohio. I live alone with my daddy because my mommy just died. Sometimes I see things that are happening elsewhere, feel things that other people are feeling or hear their thoughts. I don’t like school. I like to learn, but I don’t like school. The other boys there are mean.”
The blond pre-teen clapped his hands. “You feel things that other people are too? That’s great! I’m not alone!”
Kurt paused for a moment. “Wait, if you’re English, you must like tea, right?"
The boy nodded. “Yeah, we drink a lot of it. Why?"
“Let’s have a tea party!”
“But there isn’t anything to have the tea party with, silly."
Kurt shook his head. “No, there is! Just close your eyes very tightly and think about what you want and it’ll show up. Trust me.”
The two of them closed their eyes tightly and thought about the table, chairs, teapot and cups, complete with a dish for the cream and another for the sugar. They thought about cookies, cake and scones. When they opened their eyes again they found the table there decked out with everything the two of them had individually imagined.
They sat down and the other boy poured the tea for both of them. Kurt noted how well he held the pot and later his cup - never once using his pinky finger. “You know, you’re the first guy I’ve known who’s actually done this right.”
“My mother taught me well.”
Kurt giggled. “I think I like you.”
The blond smiled back warmly.
“That’s good, because I like you too.”
The End