..
Today was a moderately good day, I must say. A storm threatened to ruin that, but it passed. Work was quiet. I barely spoke to Trey at all. Trey is not new, he took a leave of absence, and now he's back. He's big into sports, and slacking off. He didn't really need a job--sort of wealthy--but it gets him out of the house. Our first night, was not a very good night. He left me with more than half of his duties to finish, on top of my duties, and I had to be clocked out by a quarter after ten. I had been busy all the way up to the last five minutes of work, so I was not caught up. Mary Lou wrote Renee a long letter about what Trey had done, so I am assuming he's upset with me because he cranked up the sports station and did everything for mid shift except take the trash out.
So tonight, he spoke to me only when necessary. As did I. I prefer it that way with most of them, sadly. Jessica is the only exception. I can't seem to stop talking around her. I got to meet her sister and brother. Maddy is two years old, but he's mute. Jessica and Jasmine are mixed, but Maddox is Caucasian, and he has lovely, long hair. He insisted on kissing me on the cheek twice, so I suppose he takes a liking to me. I thoroughly adore him. Jasmine is absolutely gorgeous--very modelesque. She's a lot more poised and mature, though today is her 19th birthday and I am told she is a fabulous cook. I like them a whole lot, the mess of them.
I worked, I came home and showered. I pampered myself, took time with my hair, my face. I made a delicious salad--baby spring mix with grilled chicken marinated in Garlic dressing, sliced strawberries, Feta cheese, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper and a sweet balsamic vinaigrette. In fact, it was so delicious, I made another after that. I intended to paint away my frustration. I've been feeling a lot more of my Artist's Block coming down. And I honestly wonder if Rob, and stressing over our relationship, has anything to do with it. Now that I'm free to focus...it seems to be all I want to do. Instead of painting, I watched the Nine Lives of Chloe King and Memphis Blues. I am getting into Chloe--mostly for the cute English guy. I like his character. He tries to be arrogant, but he really just cares about Chloe, and keeping her alive and getting her trained. Memphis Blues, I like because it has a more colorful, soulful vibe to the usual cop/detective-dramas.
Sometimes...I don't understand that woman. She betrayed Gabriel for her weird threesome for Jason and Jurr. I can understand that. And Gabriel is understandably sickened by her. But to drag me into their tension is ridiculous...telling me to "leash" Gabriel--it's not my place to. What Gabriel does is what Gabriel does. What Arra does is what Arra does. I respect them both. I did ask Gabriel to be civil, and I believe him leaving was more civil than what he had said to her last night. It was Arra's usual remark, to "leash" Gabriel, that really set me off. Every time she tells me I need to "leash" someone, I want to reach out and slap her, hard.
I sat in the car for about fifteen minutes, debating on how long it would take me to drive to their home and slap her. I was trying to tell her I was not a part of this. Gabriel does what he wants. I don't own him. I asked him to be civil, and he declined. I don't control him. I sympathize with him, because Arra made her decision, and it really disgusted him. Hell, it disgusted -me-. I offered Arra a better living arrangement, and she turned it down. For that, she had no right to tell me I always get what I want. I don't even know what I want. I am not some spoiled cow who sits around and gets it easy. I work two main jobs, and when I really need the boost, I work the other two jobs on top of that. A roof, and a bed, was handed to me, as well as transportation when necessary. And for that, I am certainly grateful. But I am not arrogant. Most things that I have, or done, I have worked for. I made the effort to keep in touch with him. If she is jealous over Rob and I, I also worked for that relationship even if it went nowhere. If she is jealous over my family--I don't HAVE a family save for my mother. If she is jealous over my jobs--she brought it upon herself to date an idiot who HAD no job. Who KNOCKED her up. Who consistently begged for threesomes--AS I warned her would happen. And I BEGGED her NOT to live with him. Being the maid of honor at her wedding, is the last I will ever have to do with Arra, and that is only because I promised her. And that is even if she can get over her spiteful attitude. I had already fussed Gabriel out for what he said the night before. I made it clear that while I did not like her actions, her decisions, I still care to an extent. Not the full extent that I used to, but that I still care. He respected that enough to just leave.
Each encounter with her, dims that care. Her choices, her actions, led to where she is now. And I offered her a safe place. A place she could get a job. Go to school, earn her own money, be fed, looked after without all the sex and the drinking. She made her choice. She has no one to blame but herself, and she certainly had no right to explode on me the way she did. It stopped being about Gabriel, and she made it personal.
I spoke with Alayna, which is always a relief in its own right. I make an effort to keep them in my life, and I am kept in their lives in one way or another. They make my day better. And I was glad to catch up with Alayna and talk with her through her moments. I have kept Gabriel company, and I've been keeping Ariel and Kayla company as well. I am surrounded by people I love, who--I hope--love me in their own way. I don't understand how that equates to me getting what I want, or needing to get over myself...and it bothers me. It truly does. I almost let it ruin my day and my night. But it hasn't. And it wont.
Today was a good day. I spent it with people I love.
So tonight, he spoke to me only when necessary. As did I. I prefer it that way with most of them, sadly. Jessica is the only exception. I can't seem to stop talking around her. I got to meet her sister and brother. Maddy is two years old, but he's mute. Jessica and Jasmine are mixed, but Maddox is Caucasian, and he has lovely, long hair. He insisted on kissing me on the cheek twice, so I suppose he takes a liking to me. I thoroughly adore him. Jasmine is absolutely gorgeous--very modelesque. She's a lot more poised and mature, though today is her 19th birthday and I am told she is a fabulous cook. I like them a whole lot, the mess of them.
I worked, I came home and showered. I pampered myself, took time with my hair, my face. I made a delicious salad--baby spring mix with grilled chicken marinated in Garlic dressing, sliced strawberries, Feta cheese, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper and a sweet balsamic vinaigrette. In fact, it was so delicious, I made another after that. I intended to paint away my frustration. I've been feeling a lot more of my Artist's Block coming down. And I honestly wonder if Rob, and stressing over our relationship, has anything to do with it. Now that I'm free to focus...it seems to be all I want to do. Instead of painting, I watched the Nine Lives of Chloe King and Memphis Blues. I am getting into Chloe--mostly for the cute English guy. I like his character. He tries to be arrogant, but he really just cares about Chloe, and keeping her alive and getting her trained. Memphis Blues, I like because it has a more colorful, soulful vibe to the usual cop/detective-dramas.
Sometimes...I don't understand that woman. She betrayed Gabriel for her weird threesome for Jason and Jurr. I can understand that. And Gabriel is understandably sickened by her. But to drag me into their tension is ridiculous...telling me to "leash" Gabriel--it's not my place to. What Gabriel does is what Gabriel does. What Arra does is what Arra does. I respect them both. I did ask Gabriel to be civil, and I believe him leaving was more civil than what he had said to her last night. It was Arra's usual remark, to "leash" Gabriel, that really set me off. Every time she tells me I need to "leash" someone, I want to reach out and slap her, hard.
I sat in the car for about fifteen minutes, debating on how long it would take me to drive to their home and slap her. I was trying to tell her I was not a part of this. Gabriel does what he wants. I don't own him. I asked him to be civil, and he declined. I don't control him. I sympathize with him, because Arra made her decision, and it really disgusted him. Hell, it disgusted -me-. I offered Arra a better living arrangement, and she turned it down. For that, she had no right to tell me I always get what I want. I don't even know what I want. I am not some spoiled cow who sits around and gets it easy. I work two main jobs, and when I really need the boost, I work the other two jobs on top of that. A roof, and a bed, was handed to me, as well as transportation when necessary. And for that, I am certainly grateful. But I am not arrogant. Most things that I have, or done, I have worked for. I made the effort to keep in touch with him. If she is jealous over Rob and I, I also worked for that relationship even if it went nowhere. If she is jealous over my family--I don't HAVE a family save for my mother. If she is jealous over my jobs--she brought it upon herself to date an idiot who HAD no job. Who KNOCKED her up. Who consistently begged for threesomes--AS I warned her would happen. And I BEGGED her NOT to live with him. Being the maid of honor at her wedding, is the last I will ever have to do with Arra, and that is only because I promised her. And that is even if she can get over her spiteful attitude. I had already fussed Gabriel out for what he said the night before. I made it clear that while I did not like her actions, her decisions, I still care to an extent. Not the full extent that I used to, but that I still care. He respected that enough to just leave.
Each encounter with her, dims that care. Her choices, her actions, led to where she is now. And I offered her a safe place. A place she could get a job. Go to school, earn her own money, be fed, looked after without all the sex and the drinking. She made her choice. She has no one to blame but herself, and she certainly had no right to explode on me the way she did. It stopped being about Gabriel, and she made it personal.
I spoke with Alayna, which is always a relief in its own right. I make an effort to keep them in my life, and I am kept in their lives in one way or another. They make my day better. And I was glad to catch up with Alayna and talk with her through her moments. I have kept Gabriel company, and I've been keeping Ariel and Kayla company as well. I am surrounded by people I love, who--I hope--love me in their own way. I don't understand how that equates to me getting what I want, or needing to get over myself...and it bothers me. It truly does. I almost let it ruin my day and my night. But it hasn't. And it wont.
Today was a good day. I spent it with people I love.