it doesn't seem like it's laziness, it seems like an addiction. lying has, in a way, become a drug for you, a way for you to escape things you don't like about yourself, to make you feel like something/someone else. like any other mask, it eventually takes such a strong hold that it's hard to get rid of
( ... )
Does everyone blame not chanigng bad habits on laziness? Because that's totally my schtick.
Joking aside, I reitirate what everyone is already probably telling you. Leaving behind the bridges you burnt isn't necessarily the best solution to anything. (Although, I'll admit it's a much easier solution than trying to rebuild said bridges. It always is.)
You're a good person, even inside all those bundled up layers of self-loathing and general dishonorability. You just need to focus on the good and forget the bad. You need to do so seriously, because hindsight is just going to keep bringing you down to the depths of despair.
I'm not saying I'm any better at following my advice than you are, I'm just saying it's worth a shot. Bridges are nice to have.
Everyone else has pretty much summed up what I think should be said. I'll just add that honesty to yourself is the first step to making a change. Sounds like you're on the right track. Congrats.
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Joking aside, I reitirate what everyone is already probably telling you. Leaving behind the bridges you burnt isn't necessarily the best solution to anything. (Although, I'll admit it's a much easier solution than trying to rebuild said bridges. It always is.)
You're a good person, even inside all those bundled up layers of self-loathing and general dishonorability. You just need to focus on the good and forget the bad. You need to do so seriously, because hindsight is just going to keep bringing you down to the depths of despair.
I'm not saying I'm any better at following my advice than you are, I'm just saying it's worth a shot. Bridges are nice to have.
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