Random ideas or feelings I may not verbalize
I miss being called "kitten" all the time.
I wish I didn't get so freaked out by the idea of A) crying in front of someone and then B) having to explain why I'm crying to them. If you catch me crying my eyes out and I'm actually talking to you at the same time, you can safely assume that I've lost my composure completely and am likely in a state where I will say what I'm thinking and feeling without censoring myself.
I've noticed that I am capable of loving someone or something so intensely that it actually is emotionally painful. It's rare, though. And it's not indestructible. I feel this way about you, Kevin. Also, you are by far the most overwhelmingly comforting entity I have ever encountered. The comfort I derive from your entire beaming, sometimes blindingly beautiful face, your gentle touch and your very g'kitty energy over all... is dangerously, almost frighteningly addicting. You are a very safe haven in my mind. You're intentions are always good. You are clean, in certain non-physical context... you are also literally very sanitary which is a bonus. You are good at reaching all of your fluffiest spots during the g'kitty bathing time. But I trust you. In general. I trust you not to betray me in any way. I know you are filled with the g'kitty.
Hahaha.
Anyway, that's why, now that I recall, last night when I was much, much too high... I remember feeling unsafe in some vague but large way and realizing that soon you would be home from your massage. I couldn't wait. I suddenly felt gleeful knowing that I'd soon be able to snuggle up under you, I'd be safe and accepted, snuggled and petted no matter how ridiculously retarded I was. Ahahaha... that was a strange situation in my mind, the moment I had that realization. I don't know if I've ever really had that before. Not to THAT level of awesome. Not quite.
Cool.
I wish I didn't get so freaked out by the idea of A) crying in front of someone and then B) having to explain why I'm crying to them. If you catch me crying my eyes out and I'm actually talking to you at the same time, you can safely assume that I've lost my composure completely and am likely in a state where I will say what I'm thinking and feeling without censoring myself.
I've noticed that I am capable of loving someone or something so intensely that it actually is emotionally painful. It's rare, though. And it's not indestructible. I feel this way about you, Kevin. Also, you are by far the most overwhelmingly comforting entity I have ever encountered. The comfort I derive from your entire beaming, sometimes blindingly beautiful face, your gentle touch and your very g'kitty energy over all... is dangerously, almost frighteningly addicting. You are a very safe haven in my mind. You're intentions are always good. You are clean, in certain non-physical context... you are also literally very sanitary which is a bonus. You are good at reaching all of your fluffiest spots during the g'kitty bathing time. But I trust you. In general. I trust you not to betray me in any way. I know you are filled with the g'kitty.
Hahaha.
Anyway, that's why, now that I recall, last night when I was much, much too high... I remember feeling unsafe in some vague but large way and realizing that soon you would be home from your massage. I couldn't wait. I suddenly felt gleeful knowing that I'd soon be able to snuggle up under you, I'd be safe and accepted, snuggled and petted no matter how ridiculously retarded I was. Ahahaha... that was a strange situation in my mind, the moment I had that realization. I don't know if I've ever really had that before. Not to THAT level of awesome. Not quite.
Cool.