Memes, decisions, some apology necessary.
Okay, so things that have happened, are happening, will happen.
1. Have happened.
a. I have decided to move to Chicago. For sure, for definite, no matter what. And I am fucking excited about it. I'm going to be poor and cold and crazy, but there could not be a more right place for me right now.
b. I got the cooooolest necklace from Molly right before I left town. It is an ultimate in plasticky goodness and shit I need to call her, but time changes are a bitch and I hate to call knowing I'll have to hang up soon. Life is ever so busy.
c. So Katya asked me the other day about this novel I was working on once upon a time. And you know what... I'd actually just forgotten about it. God knows where my notes on it are, since I was stupid enough to actually take them in physical form, but I can make new ones. So I'm going to go back to working on my novel. It was a good idea, and I see no reason not to continue with it.
d. I spent time with Ryan today, telling him about my plans and when I think I'm leaving and learning about what he's doing with his house and just talking more normally than we have in a long time. It was nice to have a serious discussion, and he asked a lot of questions about what I'm doing, and I was very comforted by his obviously giving a shit. We have each been trying to distance the other, albeit for different reasons, and fuck I have been missing him, and will come to miss him a great deal more when I'm actually gone. All sexual interest aside, I really do care for the guy. There is so much to appreciate about him, (also so much to drive you up a wall), and I think we do understand more about each other than we do about most people. We are very unlike the people around us and oftentimes can't even relax enough to fit in when we should. God knows he doesn't like me all the time, and I drive him crazy, but he takes care of me.
e. I stayed up too late with Ben last night and got very drunk and very serious and then very unserious and oh goodness. Good god we drank 4 bottles of wine along with a couple beers and I'm surprised I remembered my name this morning. Thank god I burned about 1400 calories at the gym today, which is almost like those bottles not happening.
2. Are Happening
a. I am looking at Craigslist amongst other places for places to live in Chicago. My mother is changing her plans of when she's coming to Louisville so that we can talk about my move and she can help me in some way. I really would like her to come to Chicago with me and help me look for an apartment. But mostly I need her to help me figure out how to pack up my life here and move it there, once there is an apartment. I want her to sit down with me and look over my figures so I don't feel like my budget is lacking in anything.
I was very relieved to tell her I was moving to Chicago today. She wasn't upset, she didn't tell me it was a bad idea, and I think it's a good sign that she is willing to come up here to get me moving.
b. rereading Pattern Recognition, because I fucking love that book. And getting ready to go over to Austin Clark's house, because he is home! Hooray!
3. Will Happen
a. I need to go in the next couple weeks over to the discount sports place by Kroger and see what dumbbells and a medicine ball will cost me. Since it's obvious I won't be able to join a gym right away, (I will be WAY too poor), I'm going to need to be able to do all my exercise in the apartment. Ryan and I talked about it, and he concurs. As long as I have proper discipline, there's very little I can't do at home instead of the gym. I happen to prefer gyms, but I am not a body-builder, and I don't need all those weights around. And it will be warm the first several months I'm in Chicago, so exercising outside won't be a big deal. Also, there will probably be rugby! One of the friends of the Nidge is big into women's rugby and would introduce me to a team. They play all year round in Chicago, it's great. (Although I have absolutely no idea how anyone exercises outside in winter.)
b. I will be coming up with a diet/exercise plan for Chicago. Beyond just figuring out how to exercise at home, I need to come up with a food plan that will be viable. Eating healthy most of the time won't be a problem, because I won't be able to afford to go out, but I am going to have to learn to avoid the cheap wonderful crap food that is EVERYWHERE in Chicago. Also at some point I'm going to have to figure out the balance between calories. I won't be in a gym, so I won't be able to convince myself to keep going on an arc-trainer. I'm going to probably just jog 40 minutes a day and that will be it for cardio outside of however much walking I do in daily life. Five miles is approximately 650 calories, which is the minimum of what I'd want to burn in a day, provided I were going to exercise six times a week. That's approximately 3900 calories burned a week, and certainly not what I'm used to burning in Louisville, but not bad either. The problem is discipline and time. But I'll learn them, if for no other reason than I am terrified of gaining weight back. I gained five pounds this trip, which I can get back off, but it's terrifying. I lost muscle mass in my arms and I'd hate to think of how weak my legs are, because I haven't done a leg routine in a couple weeks. I'm going to do squats tomorrow and fall over. But that's okay. I think.
I still have more to say but I am on my way to Austin's, so I will continue blogging anon.
1. Have happened.
a. I have decided to move to Chicago. For sure, for definite, no matter what. And I am fucking excited about it. I'm going to be poor and cold and crazy, but there could not be a more right place for me right now.
b. I got the cooooolest necklace from Molly right before I left town. It is an ultimate in plasticky goodness and shit I need to call her, but time changes are a bitch and I hate to call knowing I'll have to hang up soon. Life is ever so busy.
c. So Katya asked me the other day about this novel I was working on once upon a time. And you know what... I'd actually just forgotten about it. God knows where my notes on it are, since I was stupid enough to actually take them in physical form, but I can make new ones. So I'm going to go back to working on my novel. It was a good idea, and I see no reason not to continue with it.
d. I spent time with Ryan today, telling him about my plans and when I think I'm leaving and learning about what he's doing with his house and just talking more normally than we have in a long time. It was nice to have a serious discussion, and he asked a lot of questions about what I'm doing, and I was very comforted by his obviously giving a shit. We have each been trying to distance the other, albeit for different reasons, and fuck I have been missing him, and will come to miss him a great deal more when I'm actually gone. All sexual interest aside, I really do care for the guy. There is so much to appreciate about him, (also so much to drive you up a wall), and I think we do understand more about each other than we do about most people. We are very unlike the people around us and oftentimes can't even relax enough to fit in when we should. God knows he doesn't like me all the time, and I drive him crazy, but he takes care of me.
e. I stayed up too late with Ben last night and got very drunk and very serious and then very unserious and oh goodness. Good god we drank 4 bottles of wine along with a couple beers and I'm surprised I remembered my name this morning. Thank god I burned about 1400 calories at the gym today, which is almost like those bottles not happening.
2. Are Happening
a. I am looking at Craigslist amongst other places for places to live in Chicago. My mother is changing her plans of when she's coming to Louisville so that we can talk about my move and she can help me in some way. I really would like her to come to Chicago with me and help me look for an apartment. But mostly I need her to help me figure out how to pack up my life here and move it there, once there is an apartment. I want her to sit down with me and look over my figures so I don't feel like my budget is lacking in anything.
I was very relieved to tell her I was moving to Chicago today. She wasn't upset, she didn't tell me it was a bad idea, and I think it's a good sign that she is willing to come up here to get me moving.
b. rereading Pattern Recognition, because I fucking love that book. And getting ready to go over to Austin Clark's house, because he is home! Hooray!
3. Will Happen
a. I need to go in the next couple weeks over to the discount sports place by Kroger and see what dumbbells and a medicine ball will cost me. Since it's obvious I won't be able to join a gym right away, (I will be WAY too poor), I'm going to need to be able to do all my exercise in the apartment. Ryan and I talked about it, and he concurs. As long as I have proper discipline, there's very little I can't do at home instead of the gym. I happen to prefer gyms, but I am not a body-builder, and I don't need all those weights around. And it will be warm the first several months I'm in Chicago, so exercising outside won't be a big deal. Also, there will probably be rugby! One of the friends of the Nidge is big into women's rugby and would introduce me to a team. They play all year round in Chicago, it's great. (Although I have absolutely no idea how anyone exercises outside in winter.)
b. I will be coming up with a diet/exercise plan for Chicago. Beyond just figuring out how to exercise at home, I need to come up with a food plan that will be viable. Eating healthy most of the time won't be a problem, because I won't be able to afford to go out, but I am going to have to learn to avoid the cheap wonderful crap food that is EVERYWHERE in Chicago. Also at some point I'm going to have to figure out the balance between calories. I won't be in a gym, so I won't be able to convince myself to keep going on an arc-trainer. I'm going to probably just jog 40 minutes a day and that will be it for cardio outside of however much walking I do in daily life. Five miles is approximately 650 calories, which is the minimum of what I'd want to burn in a day, provided I were going to exercise six times a week. That's approximately 3900 calories burned a week, and certainly not what I'm used to burning in Louisville, but not bad either. The problem is discipline and time. But I'll learn them, if for no other reason than I am terrified of gaining weight back. I gained five pounds this trip, which I can get back off, but it's terrifying. I lost muscle mass in my arms and I'd hate to think of how weak my legs are, because I haven't done a leg routine in a couple weeks. I'm going to do squats tomorrow and fall over. But that's okay. I think.
I still have more to say but I am on my way to Austin's, so I will continue blogging anon.