It actually feels more like a choice between familiar certainty, and very well known unhappiness. People often also tend to stick with something or someone they can't get. I think what I have, and had, and nearly lost completely because of him, is that "real" that has come along. Neither my bf nor I, despite being split up for the time being, can see ourselves being away from each other. As for Eric, it's not really a question of me knowing him, or him knowing himself. Not any more anyway. It's just that I can only take so much, and after so long, it just seems like the closer we get and the better I know him, the more I realize that not only will I never have him because he would never want me, but that, frankly, there are too many problems he himself has that I don't think I would want to bother dealing with either. I guess in a way it's a good thing that my bf and I split up and I got a chance to get REALLY close to Eric, and I guess also in a way a good thing that what happened happened. I got a chance to see what I couldn't before, and he made it easier for me to change my feelings for him. As I said, I don't know if they have yet... for instance despite being very upset and angry with him all night last night and most of the day today, I pretty much forgave him already... but I'm hoping they have. I can't keep fighting for someone who doesn't want me no matter what I do. Especially when it's hurting someone else who already loves me whom I love back.
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