A Fortunate Fall (17/18)
banner made by toodelicious Title: A Fortunate Fall
Fandom: Merlin (c) BBC
Genres: AU, Romance/Drama
Rating: PG-13/R
Words: 6111
Progress: 17/18
Summary: Single father Arthur Pendragon, at the end of his rope, finds a miracle in the form of a young cashier boy at the local convenience store. As for Merlin, he's not quite sure about what to make of his new job as an au pair for the wealthiest man in town; but he does know that his employer has more than a few skeletons in his closet.
Previous Chapters found here: raspberry-pop.livejournal.com/tag/a+fortunate+fall
--
Gwen's smile was as ever bright and cheerful as Arthur remembered. He felt his gut twist painfully, as if it threatened to snap into two without warning. "Well, it's very nice to meet you too, Arthur. Who are your friends?"
Reluctantly, Arthur let go of her hand, and jostled Alex to attention, just slightly. His son probably would have liked to have gone on hiding his face in Arthur's neck. "This is Alex--my--son," he barely caught himself before the wrong possessive slipped. "And Alex, this is..."
Alex looked at her, in his eyes was an emotion Arthur couldn't even begin to decipher because Arthur had always known his mother. This was practically the first time Alex was seeing his.
"Hi," Alex's voice wobbled just a little. "I know your name is Gwen, but can I call you by a special nickname? I really want to."
"Alex--" Arthur's grip tightened warningly, but Gwen shook her head at him.
"Kids will be kids, Arthur. I don't mind a silly nickname. What's the nickname, Alex?"
Alex swallowed hard, "...Can I...call you--Mommy?"
Gwen's face was puzzled, "But Alex, won't your real Mommy be mad if you called me that?"
Arthur had to avert his own eyes, and suddenly he was grateful for Merlin's hand on his elbow, a solid presence.
"I don't think my real Mommy would mind that much if...if you don't mind." Alex's eyes were big and hopeful.
"I don't really mind at all, you can call me Mommy if you want." Gwen held out her hands, "But if you want to call me Mommy, at least look at me. Don't be so shy, Alex."
His son looked at him, his eyes were almost wet, and Arthur wondered if he was looking at a mirror. "You can put me down, Dad."
Alex was brave, brave enough to hold his sobs in until he could hide his face in Gwen's shoulder. She held him and kissed his cheek. "...Is he always this emotional, Arthur?"
Merlin squeezed his elbow, and somehow Arthur managed to find his voice again. "I think...I think you just caught him on a bad day, sorry about that."
"I see." Gwen said, and turned her eyes on Merlin. "And...who's this?"
Arthur said, "Erm, this is Merlin. He's--"
"Just a friend." Merlin finished for him a little too quickly and a little too brightly, "here for moral support. But it seems that Arthur and Alex are holding fine on their own, I'll...I'll get out of your hair."
Merlin was leaving, in a panic, Arthur seized his arm. "Don't leave."
"Just...I'm just going to go downstairs and get some coffee. I saw a coffee machine down there." Merlin's tone didn't entirely reassure him, but he smiled, and gestured to Alex, who was still clinging onto Gwen. "And I'll take Alex with me, so that the two of you can have some privacy."
"But I don't want to leave Mommy," Alex mumbled.
Gwen said, "How about we make a deal? If you let your father have some alone time with me, I'll draw a picture for you, and we'll talk, okay?"
"...Okay," Alex drew back reluctantly. He hopped off of Gwen's lap and held his hand out to Merlin, who seemed very surprised.
Merlin said, "Come on, Alex."
Arthur watched as they left, and Gwen gestured to him after the door had closed. "Won't you sit down, Arthur? You standing there and fidgeting makes me nervous."
He sat, awkwardly in a kitchen chair. Arthur had done this for three years, three times each year, and it never got easier. But usually he came alone, forced himself to have at least fifteen minutes of easy, interesting conversation with her...and then--
Every year she had forgotten. Sometimes, once or twice she remembered, but this year, things had to be different.
"Gwen--"
She held out a hand, "...The physicians here say I have a good chance of recovering, Arthur, if I be careful. They think it's trauma that's kept me from remembering, but they say I'm mostly relaxed now so..." Gwen bit her lip, the way she always did when something displeased her. "Arthur, I'm someone important to you, aren't I?"
Arthur's throat was dry and his tongue was numb, he really wished that Merlin hadn't left...if for no other reason than to save him from this confrontation. "Yes," he said shortly with a nod. "You are. May I tell you a story?"
"All right."
"Once upon a time," Arthur was suddenly reminded of those horrible bedtime stories that he had read Alex before Morgana had demanded that his son's bookshelf needed a desperate makeover. "There was a boy and a girl."
"They were in love?" She smiled at him.
"But helplessly misfortunate," Arthur sighed. "How'd you know?"
Her hand settled casually over his, "Most stories usually are this way, don't you know?"
"I guess I would, if I was a reader of that particular genre." Arthur said, trying not to think too much about how it felt to touch her...that part hadn't changed, either. "But I only know one story."
"And it sounds promising," Gwen nodded encouragingly. "Go on, Arthur."
"Well...the boy's father, he was something like a bastard and didn't approve." For his own safety, Arthur looked away as he spoke. "The boy didn't care, the boy was somewhat stupid. And they married." Here, his voice faltered a little. "The girl looked beautiful on her wedding day, but she almost fainted from the heat."
Gwen's fingers tightened around his hand.
"The boy--the boy promised the girl that he was going to make her happy, and that they were going to be happy for the rest of their lives. They had a son, and he was...the best boy anyone could hope for, but he never knew his mother."
"What happened to his mother?"
There was a long, long silence after that, and Arthur swallowed. He wished desperately for some water, some distraction, and he had neither, since Gwen was still staring at him intently from across the table.
"Arthur?"
Steeling himself, Arthur began again, "The girl was miserable. She was miserable because the boy promised her that she'd live like a princess. But even in her castle, the boy's father was intent on doing everything that he could to separate them. So one day..."
She pitied him, Arthur could see it in her eyes, even if she wasn't exactly the Gwen he had known for so long. "Would you like some water? I'll get some for you."
"Oh, thanks, water would be great..." Arthur hastily took note of her wheelchair, "actually, I'll get it myself." He almost stumbled over his chair when he stood up, but when Gwen fixed him with a hard look that reminded him of the first time they'd met, when she'd thrown punch in his face.
"Arthur, I may be in a wheelchair, but I'm not helpless." Her tone was bland, but firm, as she pushed away from the table and wheeled herself over to the sink, where she leaned forward to open a cabinet. Fetching a cup, and then filling it with water from the purified tap--as she somehow managed to reach up there.
Gwen saw him looking. "...Physical therapy helps with these things, but they assure me that I will never walk again."
And it's all my fault. Arthur thought, sounding properly miserable in his head. "...Thanks."
"Not a problem at all. Go on with your story."
He took a long sip from the cup, and took even longer to swallow. "So one day, she threw herself over the cliffs, after a particularly harsh fight with the boy's father. He said--he said all sorts of bad things, and the boy never forgave himself. He had his father disown him."
Gwen's face was creased with worry. "...Arthur, what happened to the girl?"
Arthur took another drink of water for courage, but water didn't exactly work like alcohol. It wasn't quite near as wondrous. "I told you, she threw herself over a cliff."
"I meant after."
Arthur looked away, "...I don't remember."
There was a terrible silence; it was long enough for Arthur to swear that the minute hand on his watch crawled, and Gwen looked down at the table. It could have been fifteen minutes, could have been thirty.
Her hands were shaking. Arthur stood up from his seat, and put his arms around her, she stiffened, but didn't tell him to let go.
"It's going to take ages to remember everything," her voice was muffled. "Even so...the next time you come here, I won't remember you. That's happened every time, hasn't it?"
He didn't answer.
"We were married?"
"...We, erm," Arthur never imagined it to be this awkward, and he had been imagining this conversation for three whole years. "Technically, we still are. We aren't divorced...or anything."
She'd found his ring, and traced a finger over the broad gold band. "What happened to my wedding ring?"
"They...they never found it." They'd never even looked properly for it either, considering that Gwen had been critical when Arthur'd found her. Her missing wedding ring wasn't something he had worried too much about. "It was lost...in the accident. My father--" his words sounded not unlike water from a broken faucet, unsteady, uncertain. "He shouldn't have done it."
"...Were we ever happy?" Her next question cut him off.
"For the first few years, we were very happy. You were...very patient with Alex, even when he whined and wouldn't sleep."
"But I don't remember any of it. I don't even remember meeting you. I barely remember my name. All these things you're telling me--it sounds like you're talking about someone else." She said, "In all honesty, I don't think I'll ever be the same woman you married again."
"Gwen, what are you saying?" Arthur felt panic starting to squeeze his chest again.
"I mean, it's not fair to you. I don't remember anything. And...the guy that came with you, Merlin. He's not just any friend, is he?"
And now she was going to lecture him for liking men, actually, it wasn't even men, it was just Merlin. That part of Gwen hadn't changed, she viewed marriage as a staunch moral principle. "Merlin is important to me." The closest to the truth he could manage.
"Is it fair to him that I'm important to you?" Gwen shrugged his arms away and turned to look at him. "You might love me, Arthur. And I loved you, but I don't remember any of those things. And it's not fair. I don't love you now."
The words hurt, but she'd said them so plaintively that Arthur knew she was telling him the truth. Gwen took his hand and slid the wedding ring carefully off of his finger.
"The doctors said that your memory might come back! You've only regressed, and you'll remember if you don't stress out." Arthur felt his throat close again.
"Arthur, if I've loved you as much as you think in the past...wouldn't I do this?" she put her arms around him again and pulled him close. She planted a soft kiss on his mouth. "I think I would have done it. Divorce me, and just remember how I was. Merlin's a good guy. I'm sure I don't have to worry that much."
"...How'd you know that? You don't even know him."
"Women's intuition, it's one of the things you hate most in the world, probably." Gwen smiled, and showed him his ring in her palm. "Can I...keep this?" it fit loosely on her pointer finger. "I can be happy here, Arthur."
It was, and Arthur nodded, unsure of the emotions that were spinning around him in vivid colors, but sure that this newfound sense of freedom and relief...was something only the Gwen he once knew,could have had the heart to give him.
--
"Merlin, please say something?" Alex nudged at him, "please, please, please say something? You're scaring me."
Alex's voice sounded distant, as if it was over a wall of thick fog. All Merlin could really do was dumbly at his coffee cup. It had golden embroidery carved into porcelain. Arthur was up there now, this very moment, talking with Gwen, his wife.
Arthur had a wife. And it was certainly none of Merlin's business. Now more than ever, he felt like their relationship was forever certain to be doomed. It didn't matter how much progress they'd made, how saintly patient Merlin had been. None of that mattered.
"Merlin," Alex landed a good jab between his ribs--Merlin winced. "Are you even listening to me?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I've been trying to talk to you for the last hour and a half!" Alex looked superbly wounded as he crossed his arms. "Stop ignoring me!"
Merlin said, "Sorry, sorry, I'm just distracted. What's wrong now?"
The boy fixed him with a severe look. "I'm talking to you!"
He looked down at his cup, and then up at Alex again. "What did you say?"
Alex threw up his hands in despair, "You haven't been listening to me at all, I asked if you were okay. Are you okay?"
In all honesty, no, Merlin was not. He just didn't know how to tell that gently and truthfully to a six-year-old kid who looked up to him. "Alex, yeah, I'm okay."
"Li-ar," Alex said the word like it was filthy. Arthur probably taught him that it was.
"Alex...they're your parents. They have a right to do what they want to."
"We're not talking about that right now! We're talking about how you feel!"
Merlin said, "Alex, I don't feel anything." There was only so many ways one could describe numbness.
Hesitantly, Alex touched his shoulder, "I like my Mommy. But I also like you a lot. Don't forget that, okay?"
If only it was so simple. And probably, in Alex's six-year-old mind (as precocious as it was--) it was. The boy was quite certain that he had enough affections to go around all ways. For Arthur, who obviously had history with this woman, wouldn't take things so lightly.
"Alex..." and the Merlin simply nodded his head. "All right, I promise I won't forget."
The boy smiled a golden smile that brightened his face like sunlight. Merlin felt an unexpectedly bitter lump form in his throat and after a couple of tries, he swallowed it back down before Arthur appeared out of one of the elevators, alone.
Merlin refused to look at him because he didn't want to know what Arthur looked like after having a talk with his wife. He didn't want to think about how guilty it made him feel.
"...Merlin, Gwen wants to talk to you." Arthur said.
Gwen wanted to talk to him. What did that even mean? But Merlin rose to his feet, feeling the anxiousness in his chest weigh him down. "You'll be coming with me?"
"She wants to see you alone."
Merlin wondered when it was, that he started being afraid of a woman confined to a wheelchair. It was not the same way that Morgana unsettled him, but-- "Oh, okay."
"Merlin."
When he whirled around, Merlin knew his eyes, at least--if not his entire face, looked guilty. Arthur simply gestured to the cup he still held in his hands.
"Coffee?"
"Right, um." Merlin handed the cup over, "here."
And he fled. The elevator ride up took exactly ten seconds, but it seemed to Merlin over in a blink. Gwen's door was open, and she was waiting for him, settled on the couch with her wheelchair nearby.
"Merlin," her smile was bright. "Come in, could you please close the door?"
He did, and they stared at each other for a long time. Her smile seemed genuine, and her face was open. She was not like Sophia at all.
"Is there something on my face, Merlin? Ink, maybe?"
"...No." Merlin shook his head quickly after he realized that she indeed had spoken, and he hastily fumbled for a seat and ended up in an armchair. "I mean, I just thought..." maybe it was better to come straight out and say it. "I didn't expect Arthur's wife...to be like this."
"Not everyone can be glamorous, you know." She offered him a faint shrug. "I can't believe that he says we're married."
"You are," the words tasted like bile in Merlin's mouth, but he forced them out anyway. None of this was Gwen's fault, she was the victim, she too, had suffered, although she didn't seem to remember any of it. "And Arthur...loves you very much." She needed to know.
Gwen tilted her head, "Arthur loved someone I don't remember. The doctors say that it was a miracle that I'm still able to talk and think the way I do. They also say that, with the proper treatment, I should be able to regain most of my memory."
"Good for you." Merlin said.
She just looked at him, so serenely still that Merlin started to fidget. He cast his eyes downwards and realized that Gwen's hands were folded neatly in her lap, one atop the other...and she had on Arthur's ring. He hadn't bothered to look at Arthur's hands downstairs.
"You've--"
Holding up her hand, she studied the ring with renewed curiosity, as if she had never seen it before. "If my memory does come back, I'll have to remember a lot of things, a lot of painful things that I know Arthur would rather me not remember. And he'll expect things from me, things from before. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to him, and it's certainly not fair...to you."
His first thought was to be noble and deny everything, but when Merlin opened his mouth to protest, Gwen was shaking her head at him again.
"He looks at you that way. Or are you ashamed of it?"
"I..." Merlin suddenly felt very stupid. "I just--but the two of you are married, I can't just..." He had, and it had been almost a whole year now, just a few months shy. But facing it like this was something different altogether.
"Arthur has orders to serve me divorce papers when he can come up with them," Gwen splayed her fingers, showing Arthur's ring on her finger, "Today was our seventh wedding anniversary, he told me. I don't deny what happened, and I certainly don't deny that I've been Arthur Pendragon's wife. But I'm not what he needs right now."
Merlin looked down at his lap, thoroughly numb.
"We live in a world that doesn't wait for anything, and if I'm as kind and reasonable as he tells me I am, I have no right to expect him to wait for me. He says that you're good for him, you nag, and he doesn't deserve you."
Arthur...actually said that about him? "He..did he really say that?" Merlin asked dumbly.
"And he said that you had the patience of a saint, even when he dated another woman to get people off his back, you stayed." Gwen shook her head. "I honestly don't know if I would have been that...forgiving."
Merlin's head spun, but for once, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. He shrugged, "I guess, I just try my best."
She held out her hand for his, and Merlin noted that her hands were strong hands. Guinevere Pendragon was a strong woman, even without her memories, she'd discovered herself again. "In this case, Merlin, please trust me when I say that your best surpasses mine. Could you do something for me?"
"Anything."
"The both of you deserve to be happy, even if I didn't get to live the sort of life that Arthur promised me." She gave his hand a warm squeeze and let go. "I just want you both to remember."
--
This was the sort of day that Uther Pendragon had been waiting for, Arthur thought almost bitterly. The day that his good-for-nothing son divorced his good-for-nothing wife so that he could finally marry a respectable girl with some clout to her name and some money in her pocket so that Arthur could finally be worth something.
He thought that Uther would have rolled over in his grave--if he'd been dead. But his father was alive, and well, and happily paying his debts to society. Arthur still didn't know how he felt about that. But the day had come, seven years too late, and he certainly hadn't emerged unscathed from it.
Things had been perfect then, and if only, if only, had Arthur the courage to protect it.
But now, Gwen had selflessly given him another chance. A chance he didn't deserve to have, but a chance she gave him anyway. And if he didn't deserve such a chance, maybe she thought Merlin, at the very least, deserved a fair trial.
Coming here had been hard for Merlin, Arthur knew that, despite all of his own distractions. The shadows that plagued Merlin's face and the effort that he put his smile, those were all signs.
Alex sat in the chair next to him, mirroring his slump as he stared hard at his hands. Arthur reached over and put an arm around his shoulders. "Hey, you okay?"
"I'm okay," Alex managed after a belated break. "But..I don't think Merlin is." His face was creased with worry and he looked old. "He's going to be fine, right, Dad?"
Arthur wondered who deemed it so that fathers must have all the difficult answers to difficult questions that their sons might have. And he decided that it was not fair. But before he could think of an answer for Alex, the elevator opened and Merlin appeared.
Arthur watched him warily, and when Merlin came to a stop in front of him, touched his hand--Arthur almost winced. But Merlin only smiled. "Can we go for a walk?"
Alex prompted helpfully, "By yourselves?"
"Well, yeah," Merlin nodded towards the elevator. "Your mother wants to see you."
Alex was gone like a bullet, and Arthur rubbed his temple with a free hand, the one that Merlin wasn't holding. "...I find it so not fair that both of you have a way with him."
"You're whining?"
"Yeah." Arthur set his chin.
Merlin ran a finger over where his wedding band used to be, and Arthur's breath hitched. Merlin's voice was not completely steady either, when he said: "Arthur, you prat."
--
Since there was no one on the road, Arthur took his hand. Merlin knew that Arthur would always be a bit hesitant when it came to showing affection, and it was something he was just going to have to live with. It was not impossible, and if anything...it made the moments that Arthur did show affection more meaningful.
"Arthur, you have a penchant for seducing saints. It's a bad habit and you should grow out of it."
"Saints are helplessly attracted to me, I don't know what you're talking about," Arthur sounded properly injured.
Merlin swatted him on the arm, and serving penance, Arthur let him and put on a heroic face about it.
There was a companionable silence.
Arthur finally ventured, "...I'll get the divorce papers sometime this week."
Gwen wanted it. And now Arthur wanted it too. So why did Merlin's stomach twist and coil painfully like a snake had bitten him on the inside? Part of him knew why, he had broken up something sacred...thanks to emotions beyond his control.
"Arthur, I know that's what she said," Merlin said. "But you don't...if you're not comfortable, I mean..."
"You can't be comfortable with me staying married." Arthur looked at him.
"I know, but--" Merlin cut himself off abruptly. His reasoning sounded silly, and it really was the best for him, for all of them if Arthur and Gwen got divorced, but still. They were getting divorced because of him. It was all Merlin's fault.
Arthur fixed him with a narrow gaze. "If you're going to say something that's along the lines of 'I'm just thinking of you', I swear you're the most idiotic person I know.
"Merlin, maybe you've always put other people first, and you don't know how to be selfish. Take a lesson from me, a certified prat. Just let me get divorced, and we can be happy. Don't you want that?"
Merlin registered that Arthur was holding him by the shoulders, and he stood much too close, considering the fact that they were on a public road in plain sight for all to see. "Arthur...the last thing I want--"
"I don't want to hear about the last thing you want," Arthur interrupted, eyes flashing almost dangerously. "What's the first thing you want, Merlin? Saints have to be human too, sometime."
Letting out a shaky breath, Merlin leaned forward and put his head on Arthur's shoulder. When Arthur did not stop him, he took a deep breath and spoke into Arthur's ear, because Merlin could not trust himself to be coherent if he spoke any louder.
"Did you honestly tell you wife that I nagged and played mother hen with you and that you didn't deserve me?"
Arthur flinched, or so Merlin thought...or maybe it might have been the wind.
"I also said...that you were one of the best things that could have happened to me, and that you were a colossally stupid git for not realizing it. Then she told me that I was an equally colossally stupid git for not telling you."
Merlin's eyes watered, he hadn't cried in front of Arthur yet, and even though he was so very determined to keep it that way, it didn't seem possible. But then it didn't seem to matter when Arthur guided his face over a few careful inches and laid a kiss on his lips that was warm like a rose petal.
--
Arthur was sort of in a daze when they made their way back to the Center, arm in arm now and wearing identically stupid grins. An old lady in a walker accompanied by a nurse paused to stare. The Arthur Pendragon of yesterday, or even of a few hours before, would have cared. Now he didn't, not really.
Merlin only let go of him when they were inside the center. And the first thing Arthur noticed was the big basket of flowers on the receptionist's counter, she saw him looking and smiled at him. "i told you Gwen was popular, didn't I?"
"These are for her?" Arthur walked to the counter and examined the basket carefully.
"It was delivered just a few minutes ago, my understanding is that this basket traveled long and hard to get to where it is." She plucked the white card from its place and waved it in his face.
"See?"
The card bore a faint logo, but it was a logo that Arthur would have recognized anywhere. In silky, imprinted letters, it said: Roses for Laurene. LONDON.
Roses for Laurene was his mother's favorite flower shop, and whenever his father was feeling generous, the flowers always came from Roses for Laurene. With a strange sense of foreboding, he flipped open the card and stared at it for a long, long moment.
Happy Anniversary, Guinevere.
Respectfully, Uther Pendragon.
Reading Uther's name reminded Arthur that he was still ticked at Kaye for arranging the payoffs without telling him; he hadn't even known Kaye had that much authority. But then again, maybe he asked for it by signing that stupid form he'd barely glossed over. This was what he got for trusting people.
And never once in seven years, had Uther Pendragon been this sentimental towards his crippled daughter-in-law.
"What?" asked Merlin.
Arthur put the card back before he could think about it too much. "My old man is horrible at groveling."
"At least he is...groveling."
True that. But Arthur was just not going to think about it, unforgiveness was safe, and he didn't need Uther Pendragon; he stood well enough on his own.
Alex appeared out of the elevators and immediately launched himself at Arthur. Glad for the distraction, Arthur swooped him up.
"The nurse said that visiting hours are over," Alex told him. "Lookit what Mommy drew me."
The paper tickled Arthur's nose when Alex thwacked him with it, but Merlin took the sheet from him and unfolded it carefully.
It was a pencil sketch of Alex, staring at the bouquet of flowers that Arthur had brought her. He wore a little private smile, as if he knew secrets. At the bottom of the page, there was a flurry of a signature, and--
To Alex, with much love, from Mommy.
--
"No girls living here until you can actually commit yourself to a healthy relationship," Merlin said, staring at his side of the room, it was empty, save for the bed.
Mordred stood looking at him, not speaking for a long minute. "I'm kind of scared of how you define a 'healthy' relationship'."
"Oh, shut up." Merlin weighed the tattered bag in his hand that held his last few possessions in the apartment. "I just worry about you."
Mordred opened his mouth and closed it again. "After sharing a room with you for like, ever, it's going to be weird." Lowering his voice conspiringly, he added, "Matthew's going to drive me nuts!"
Merlin had to smile at him, "Matthew's driven me nuts for years, your turn now."
"Gee, thanks, I love you too. Don't blame me if your apartment burned down the next time you visit. You...you will visit, right?"
"Yeah, I'll try to walk in on you as often as possible," Merlin clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll hate me, I assure you."
Mordred clapped him somewhat awkwardly on the shoulder and drew him close, it was almost a hug but not quite. "You could try, I might be more shameless than you gave me credit for."
"Don't even get me started." Merlin turned towards the door.
"And I still don't know how the laundry machine works, don't be a stranger, yeah?" Mordred called after him. "Arthur better take care of you, or I swear I'll take up karate and kick his ass."
--
Alex had framed Gwen's sketch and it hung proudly on his wall right beside his Most Creative Award. He spent long moments looking at it, and Arthur did too, but neither of them spoke very much about it. But as Arthur tucked him in, Alex looked at him with sleepy eyes.
"...Dad?"
"Hm?"
"D'you think Mommy will ever remember me?"
Arthur wondered why Alex always had to ask the most difficult questions at the most inopportune times. "I don't know." And he told the truth, the divorced papers that he had sent over were mailed back signed, but even her signature had changed.
The answer couldn't have satisfied Alex, but he turned his face to the wall. "Where's Merlin?"
"He went to his apartment to pick up some things."
"Will you tell him to come up and tell me good night when he comes back?"
"Sure, I'll do that," Arthur smoothed one hand over his son's forehead and left the room. He stood outside for a long time afterwards, maybe he was reading too much into it, as always. Alex would start the second grade tomorrow, and perhaps it was only natural that he'd think of all the mothers that would be there.
"Arthur?" Merlin's voice. Arthur had made him a key, and the first few times, Merlin had hesitated in using it, but he had been quick to adjust when Arthur gave him the key to the other car. "Where are you?"
"Up here." Arthur leaned on the railing and smiled as Merlin looked up. It was all a little too domestic for his liking, but Merlin always made him forget. "Did you get the rest of your stuff?"
Merlin nodded, "Yeah, I did, but my brother still expects me to do laundry for him."
Arthur drew him in and kissed him, "You'll be much too busy doing my laundry, trust me." but he pulled back and looked towards Alex's door. "He wants you to go in and tell him good night...I think he's nervous about starting school tomorrow."
"Okay, then I'll just be a minute."
Merlin disappeared inside Alex's room, Arthur hated to admit it, but he was almost jealous of the way that playing mother hen came so naturally to Merlin. Maybe because he took his mother's face, he was doomed with Uther's mannerisms. Uther wasn't good at sentiments at all. Business was business, but Uther''s private life (the last time Arthur had even bothered to check) was a mess, and it would seem that Arthur's own personal affairs were more or less heading in that direction...although things did sort of look promising.
He also hated admit it, but Uther Pendragon was never far from his mind now, and as Arthur settled in the chair in his study, there was definitely no reason for him to think--
But then again, there was no reason for Uther to send Gwen flowers from London, either. It didn't make any sense. At all.
"Oh, Arthur, if you think this hard all the time, I swear all the wrinkles are going to become permanent."
"Merlin--" It took Arthur a moment to realize that Merlin was quite comfortable where he was in Arthur's lap. "Jesus, you scared me."
"You think too hard. Alex's picked up that bad habit." Merlin's lips smoothed gently over his forehead. "What's wrong?"
"Excuse me," Arthur didn't have to try too hard to sound genuinely miffed, he was already half way there. But then he quieted down and let Merlin play with his hair. "I was just...wondering if I should."
"Do what?"
Arthur sighed, "Call up my old man, see if we could have a drink sometime if he's not busy."
Merlin didn't speak for a long time, but he nodded. "Yeah, I think you should. Isn't it early over there though?"
"If my father hasn't changed, he's up and about at four AM." Arthur reached for his cell, and then paused again. "He's probably ticked at me."
"Arthur, if you keep saying that, you'll never call him," Merlin gave him a stern look. "He can't hurt you over the telephone."
But this was Uther Pendragon, he usually found the way to break the rules. Though Merlin had a point, if Arthur kept shielding himself behind excuses, he'd never get anywhere. He dialed the number.
It rang, and then it rang again, again, again. Arthur was about to hang up when the other line clicked.
"Hello?"
Uther's voice, sort of blurry and unguarded. But still, it made Arthur nervous, Merlin stared intently at him and nodded. "...Hey, Dad. It's me, Arthur."
There was a long, almost threatening silence on the other end, maybe Uther thought he was an impostor. It was understandable, considering they hadn't spoken on the phone in years.
"Arthur? What a pleasant surprise." Maybe it was just Arthur's imagination, but Uther sounded hopeful, or something close to it, anyway. "What can I do for you?"
And somehow, he remembered to breathe, it helped somewhat that he had Merlin close by and Uther far away, but still. Arthur couldn't quite bring himself to say thank you, and he also wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible. "I was wondering when you'll be come to LA again. That's all."
"I'm not doing that much flying nowadays, I'm training a few interns, but most of them are helplessly stupid."
Arthur was determined to ignore the implications for now. "When you do fly over, we should go out for a drink."
Uther was silent. So shocked, maybe, that Arthur couldn't even hear him breathing.
Then: "I think that could be arranged, Arthur."
"Good."
There was an awkward silence. Interestingly, it was more awkward over the telephone than talking face to face. Uther said, "I have to go to work."
His father was lying, or perhaps he wasn't, but Uther was crazy if he was showing at his office at seven AM every morning. Arthur didn't know how he stood it. But he wanted to get off the phone, so he said, "Have a good day at work."
And that was that. It was not the reconciliation that Arthur knew his mother would have wanted them to have, but at least it was a step forward.