Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
The past couple of sundays I've walked into youth group feeling kind of uncertain. Not because of our youth group or anything anyone did; I adore my youth pastor and the youth group I attend. It's just that many of my friends from youth group were older than me. The last of my closest friends in the youth group graduated last year, and so I find myself seeking out Chele (my youth pastor's wife) each sunday morning because she is one of the few people left that I really know and connect with. I've been noticing the many ways that my life has been and will be changing over the course of this year.
I'm a senior in high school.
I'm currently in my last season of soccer.
I won't be able to be apart of D-groups anymore because they meet on wednesday nights, and I volunteer as a discipleship leader with the middle school on wednesday nights (another change)
I'm leaving to spend a week and a half in the Philippines in two months
I'm graduating at the end of January to get a job to raise money for a "missions trip" that I have been praying about for about three years now, and I still have no idea where I will be going or who I'll be living with.
I do know that sometime next fall, I'll be leaving to spend a year living with a missionary family that I don't even know.
The majority of my friends are college kids.
Another majority of my friends aren't even in Salem anymore.
I feel like so much change is going on around me that I just want to panic or curl up in a ball or stop everything and give up. But I can't. My life is supposed to be lived outside of my comfort zone, and that involves taking a step out into the open with the hope that the step I just took is in the right direction and that the movement I am making is what Christ would ask of me or assure me is truly following Him. I could whine and complain about how much stuff sucks or how uncomfortable and unsure I feel of myself in certain areas of change, but I choose to take it in stride, finding peace in the hope that I've answered the whisper that speaks so sweetly to my heart and am on the right track. Francis Chan spoke at the LIFE conference I went to, and said that complacency and monotony and the routine in a human relationship hurts the relationship, and therefore is brutal when practiced in our relationship with the LORD. And so I choose to love the change and the vulnerability that Christ asks of me.
At the beginning of this summer I felt like God was putting it on my heart to volunteer with the middle school group at Salem Alliance. I had volunteered as a second grade shepherding group leader for three years, and I knew that program well. I knew and loved the kids, the leaders, and the whole scenario. I had been told by my d-group leader that I would make a great mid school leader, but thought that I was doing fine with the second graders. I made the choice in August to commit to the middle school group. It scared me, and even more so made me feel uncomfortable when I was told I was assigned as a leader to 8th grade girls. The very first wednesday with them was hard and I left feeling so unsure about this and like I had gotten myself into a ridiculous situation. But God cannot be mocked; the past few weeks with my girls have been incredible and I am so encouraged by what will come through the year.
Change is scary and vulnerable and sometimes it downright sucks. But I know that it is also exciting, thrilling, and teaches me to rely on Christ and trust Him with my life. When He is in control, I have no idea what to expect. And I love the ride along the way of discovering what His plans are as they unfold.
I'm a senior in high school.
I'm currently in my last season of soccer.
I won't be able to be apart of D-groups anymore because they meet on wednesday nights, and I volunteer as a discipleship leader with the middle school on wednesday nights (another change)
I'm leaving to spend a week and a half in the Philippines in two months
I'm graduating at the end of January to get a job to raise money for a "missions trip" that I have been praying about for about three years now, and I still have no idea where I will be going or who I'll be living with.
I do know that sometime next fall, I'll be leaving to spend a year living with a missionary family that I don't even know.
The majority of my friends are college kids.
Another majority of my friends aren't even in Salem anymore.
I feel like so much change is going on around me that I just want to panic or curl up in a ball or stop everything and give up. But I can't. My life is supposed to be lived outside of my comfort zone, and that involves taking a step out into the open with the hope that the step I just took is in the right direction and that the movement I am making is what Christ would ask of me or assure me is truly following Him. I could whine and complain about how much stuff sucks or how uncomfortable and unsure I feel of myself in certain areas of change, but I choose to take it in stride, finding peace in the hope that I've answered the whisper that speaks so sweetly to my heart and am on the right track. Francis Chan spoke at the LIFE conference I went to, and said that complacency and monotony and the routine in a human relationship hurts the relationship, and therefore is brutal when practiced in our relationship with the LORD. And so I choose to love the change and the vulnerability that Christ asks of me.
At the beginning of this summer I felt like God was putting it on my heart to volunteer with the middle school group at Salem Alliance. I had volunteered as a second grade shepherding group leader for three years, and I knew that program well. I knew and loved the kids, the leaders, and the whole scenario. I had been told by my d-group leader that I would make a great mid school leader, but thought that I was doing fine with the second graders. I made the choice in August to commit to the middle school group. It scared me, and even more so made me feel uncomfortable when I was told I was assigned as a leader to 8th grade girls. The very first wednesday with them was hard and I left feeling so unsure about this and like I had gotten myself into a ridiculous situation. But God cannot be mocked; the past few weeks with my girls have been incredible and I am so encouraged by what will come through the year.
Change is scary and vulnerable and sometimes it downright sucks. But I know that it is also exciting, thrilling, and teaches me to rely on Christ and trust Him with my life. When He is in control, I have no idea what to expect. And I love the ride along the way of discovering what His plans are as they unfold.