"Mother's Choice" by Anna Quindlen
I just finished reading an essay that changed my point of view on stay-at-home moms
Like the author, I viewed being a house-wife/stay-at-home mother as a sign of inconfidence and weakness in a woman. I felt if I chose to become a s.a.h. mom, my brain would turn to rot as I picked up after my child's mess, cooked, cleaned, what not. That kind of work would make my life so DULL. I felt I wanted to become well-respected after EARNING a title like, Dr. Liza Gill, M.D. (typical desi brainwashing, right??:))I mean, being a s.a.h. mom seemed to me like I would give up myself and be forced completely rely on a man. Self-reliance. That's what I wanted, that's the only way I would respect myself. I still believe that..but after reading this essay, I don't feel that being a s.a.h. mom necessarily means giving up your identity, nor does it show weakness or inconfidence. The author at the end of the essay said:
"That's why I did what I [gave up my job to become a stay at home mom]. I did it for me. Isn't that what we feminists were suppose to be supporting, a little healthy selfishness? I didn't feel guilty about being away all day at work. I just knew I was missing the best time of my life. Like today. Two guys asked me to have pizza and watch Sleeping Beauty with them...I could have been at the office, but instead I Did the Noble Thing: two slices with extra cheese and a long discussion of the difference between enchanted sleep and death."
I don't know if I'd want to be a s.@ h. mom my whole life, but I don't know, being one for a while doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.
I'm jumping way too far ahead of myself, aren't I?
Like the author, I viewed being a house-wife/stay-at-home mother as a sign of inconfidence and weakness in a woman. I felt if I chose to become a s.a.h. mom, my brain would turn to rot as I picked up after my child's mess, cooked, cleaned, what not. That kind of work would make my life so DULL. I felt I wanted to become well-respected after EARNING a title like, Dr. Liza Gill, M.D. (typical desi brainwashing, right??:))I mean, being a s.a.h. mom seemed to me like I would give up myself and be forced completely rely on a man. Self-reliance. That's what I wanted, that's the only way I would respect myself. I still believe that..but after reading this essay, I don't feel that being a s.a.h. mom necessarily means giving up your identity, nor does it show weakness or inconfidence. The author at the end of the essay said:
"That's why I did what I [gave up my job to become a stay at home mom]. I did it for me. Isn't that what we feminists were suppose to be supporting, a little healthy selfishness? I didn't feel guilty about being away all day at work. I just knew I was missing the best time of my life. Like today. Two guys asked me to have pizza and watch Sleeping Beauty with them...I could have been at the office, but instead I Did the Noble Thing: two slices with extra cheese and a long discussion of the difference between enchanted sleep and death."
I don't know if I'd want to be a s.@ h. mom my whole life, but I don't know, being one for a while doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.
I'm jumping way too far ahead of myself, aren't I?