Diary of an Asshole
Yesterday I missed the bus TWICE. Luckily, I know just how much of an asshole I am, so I still had time to catch it on the third "try" and make it to class on time. Today, I'm giving myself four chances. I already missed it once, and I'm typing this instead of showering, so chances are good that I'll miss it a second time.
I have a lot of shit to do, but I'm bored as hell. We have a kitty cat who I love, but Heidi and I have done nothing but watch Star Trek:Voyager and Futurama for like 2 weeks. It sounds like the perfect life, I know, but it leaves me feeling a little empty. I don't know what Heidi wants to do to fill her void, but I can tell you exactly what I need. I need the fast-paced, dice-rolling, beholder-slicing action of Dungeons and Dragons. I need to feel the icosahedron roll across my palm and onto the board. I need to take a crap in a shopkeeper's closet because he won't sell me a magic ring cheaply enough. I need to simultaneously defeat and become the master of all that is wretched and evil. Unfortunately, Heidi does not dig it, and I don't know anyone around here who does.
There are multiple comic shops, so I'm sure I could find persons of the nerdly persuasion... but there are problems. Real nerds make a real time committment to D&D. I don't have a lot of time. I want to play like once or twice a month, not once or twice a week. Even if I wanted to play more often, I have too many demands on my time. I don't want to devote that much time to something I can't do with Heidi(but damn it, she was a band nerd, and that's so close to D&D nerd I can taste it!), and I have, starting this weekend, a lot of demands on my time from school. I have two papers to write this weekend, one for mind and action and another for gender and race. I don't know what I'm doing with either of them, but I can tell you this: It'd better be something. I also have to grade like 30 papers. Luckily most of the people in my group seem pretty intelligent. I'm sure I'll be shocked and horrified to read their papers, anyway.
So. No D&D, and lots of school work. Did I mention we have a kitty? She's great. Her name is Chairman Meow. Mark from school is really impressed that we came up with such a good, communist name for our kitty. Chairman Meow has nationalized Heidi's chair and gloriously redistributed it to herself. Heidi pretty much takes this like a bitch and sits on the floor. I feel bad for her, but, the cat's the boss.
I think I'm going to install NESticle on the computer in my office. It'll be way better to spend my office hours playing Dragon Warrior than... not playing Dragon Warrior. Nah, Dragon Warrior 1 sucks nuts(anyone thinking otherwise: "Dost thou love me? Oh, but thou must!"), and I've beaten 4 too many times to give a crap. Maybe I should devote some time to 2 and 3. Or maybe I'll just keep trying to play that untranslated version of Final Fantasy 2. Japanese RPGs are hard, considering I have no background in Japanese, and when selecting a weapon(or hat, for all I know) I have no idea if it's a Crystal Sword or the Cheese Armor. Oh, fart.
I guess I'll shower now, and see if I can catch the bus next time. If not, at least I have pornography and married with children to kill time until it comes around again.
I have a lot of shit to do, but I'm bored as hell. We have a kitty cat who I love, but Heidi and I have done nothing but watch Star Trek:Voyager and Futurama for like 2 weeks. It sounds like the perfect life, I know, but it leaves me feeling a little empty. I don't know what Heidi wants to do to fill her void, but I can tell you exactly what I need. I need the fast-paced, dice-rolling, beholder-slicing action of Dungeons and Dragons. I need to feel the icosahedron roll across my palm and onto the board. I need to take a crap in a shopkeeper's closet because he won't sell me a magic ring cheaply enough. I need to simultaneously defeat and become the master of all that is wretched and evil. Unfortunately, Heidi does not dig it, and I don't know anyone around here who does.
There are multiple comic shops, so I'm sure I could find persons of the nerdly persuasion... but there are problems. Real nerds make a real time committment to D&D. I don't have a lot of time. I want to play like once or twice a month, not once or twice a week. Even if I wanted to play more often, I have too many demands on my time. I don't want to devote that much time to something I can't do with Heidi(but damn it, she was a band nerd, and that's so close to D&D nerd I can taste it!), and I have, starting this weekend, a lot of demands on my time from school. I have two papers to write this weekend, one for mind and action and another for gender and race. I don't know what I'm doing with either of them, but I can tell you this: It'd better be something. I also have to grade like 30 papers. Luckily most of the people in my group seem pretty intelligent. I'm sure I'll be shocked and horrified to read their papers, anyway.
So. No D&D, and lots of school work. Did I mention we have a kitty? She's great. Her name is Chairman Meow. Mark from school is really impressed that we came up with such a good, communist name for our kitty. Chairman Meow has nationalized Heidi's chair and gloriously redistributed it to herself. Heidi pretty much takes this like a bitch and sits on the floor. I feel bad for her, but, the cat's the boss.
I think I'm going to install NESticle on the computer in my office. It'll be way better to spend my office hours playing Dragon Warrior than... not playing Dragon Warrior. Nah, Dragon Warrior 1 sucks nuts(anyone thinking otherwise: "Dost thou love me? Oh, but thou must!"), and I've beaten 4 too many times to give a crap. Maybe I should devote some time to 2 and 3. Or maybe I'll just keep trying to play that untranslated version of Final Fantasy 2. Japanese RPGs are hard, considering I have no background in Japanese, and when selecting a weapon(or hat, for all I know) I have no idea if it's a Crystal Sword or the Cheese Armor. Oh, fart.
I guess I'll shower now, and see if I can catch the bus next time. If not, at least I have pornography and married with children to kill time until it comes around again.