Well, well...
It appears I can only freestyle when it will be academically devastating to me to do so. Toot toot.
I'm not really content with my life right now, which is weird, because I have no ambitions at the moment. I'm just kinda here, accumulating debt.
I keep talking about a change of major, but to what? Politics? What can I do with that? I don't want to be a lawyer, I'm far too offensive a person to ever be elected to office, teaching requires education courses... It's just that there is no function in society I both would like to serve, and am capable of serving. I've reconciled with physics, or so I thought. I seem to be sabotaging myself, still, in that field.
Maybe I should arrange counseling sessions. Maybe I should say fuck it, drop out, work out a bunch, get a tight little body, get a bartender liscense, and mix drinks for rich old ladies who will drop twenties in my jar in exchange for a handful of my ass now and then. Maybe I should start dealing drugs. Maybe I should start doing drugs. Maybe I should become a murderer. I bet killing people can be a lot of fun, if approached with the proper attitude. Maybe I should get addicted to sleeping pills.
I just want to get so stoned, so drunk, so something... I don't want to be able to think or see straight, because when I look at the future it scares me so bad I tell myself I'm blind. I'm going to be twenty fucking and I don't know what I want to do with my life, or if there IS anything I want to do with my life.
Sometimes I think a solipsistic philosophy is the only appropriate one. Only one of us is real. It can't be me; is it you?
I'm not really content with my life right now, which is weird, because I have no ambitions at the moment. I'm just kinda here, accumulating debt.
I keep talking about a change of major, but to what? Politics? What can I do with that? I don't want to be a lawyer, I'm far too offensive a person to ever be elected to office, teaching requires education courses... It's just that there is no function in society I both would like to serve, and am capable of serving. I've reconciled with physics, or so I thought. I seem to be sabotaging myself, still, in that field.
Maybe I should arrange counseling sessions. Maybe I should say fuck it, drop out, work out a bunch, get a tight little body, get a bartender liscense, and mix drinks for rich old ladies who will drop twenties in my jar in exchange for a handful of my ass now and then. Maybe I should start dealing drugs. Maybe I should start doing drugs. Maybe I should become a murderer. I bet killing people can be a lot of fun, if approached with the proper attitude. Maybe I should get addicted to sleeping pills.
I just want to get so stoned, so drunk, so something... I don't want to be able to think or see straight, because when I look at the future it scares me so bad I tell myself I'm blind. I'm going to be twenty fucking and I don't know what I want to do with my life, or if there IS anything I want to do with my life.
Sometimes I think a solipsistic philosophy is the only appropriate one. Only one of us is real. It can't be me; is it you?