81. I do not know what the word "inconceivable" means, and I should stop using it.
82. Not allowed to sell naked pictures of Major Adama.
* Not allowed to sell naked pictures of Captain Thrace
* Unless she gets a cut.
83. Not allowed to play strip Triad.
* No, not even if Captain Agathon doesn't know when to fold.
84. "Lee Adama takes it up the ass" is not an acceptable boxing cheer.
* Or true.
* Honestly.
85. Not allowed to give lap dances while wearing any part of my uniform.
* No, not even if the uniform comes off in the process.
86. Not allowed to add "in my flightsuit" to the ends of my sentences.
87. Not allowed to spike Major Adama's coffee.
* Not allowed to spike Admiral Adama's coffee.
* Spiking coffee, in general, is wrong. And a waste of coffee.
* The petition to declare wasting coffee a hanging offense gathered 800 signatures and is currently under review.
88. Not allowed to speak to the press.
89. It is not "Official Hug A Superior Officer Day."
* It is not "Naked Marsday."
90. Viper jocks do not "do it in the cockpit."
* Raptor jocks do not "do it in pairs."
* Knuckledraggers do not "do it with lube." Except when they do.
* Not allowed to speculate about when, where, how, why, or with whom President Roslin does it, as I do not want to know what will happen should she overhear me.
91. President Roslin will always overhear me.
92. Duct tape is not a disciplinary tool.
* Nor is it the force that holds the universe together.
* No matter how much Chief Tyrol can do with it.
93. No, I may not keep it as a pet.
* Yes, Boxey counts.
94. Not allowed to score PDAs in the pilots' bunk room.
95. After destroying a Cylon Basestar it is not appropriate to yell that "All your base are belong to us."
96. I am not allowed to tell nuggets that Tigh gave up his eye to see the future.
* That future is not the moment of his own death.
97. Not allowed to play "Hide The CAG's Wedding Ring."
* Any more.
* Not even if Captain Thrace tells me to.
* Especially not if Captain Thrace tells me to.
98. Asking Lt. Gaeta if I can borrow a pen is not funny.
99. Not allowed to conspicuously sniff any tea offered to me by the XO.
100. Nuggets may be flammable, but that is a fact, and not an invitation.
101. Not allowed to trade nuggets for food.
* Or cigarettes.
* Or liquor.
* Alright, maybe liquor.
102. Not allowed to teach Hera Agathon to say "frak", "motherfrakker", or "cocksucker"
* Yes, it is amusing.
* No, I will not survive past 0300 if I do so.
* Nicholas Tyrol, however, is fair game.
103. We do not serve Cylon stew at any meal.
104. Nothing good has ever followed the words "here, hold my drink and watch this." I will keep this in mind at all times.
105. Not allowed to mutiny.
* No, not even if President Roslin did it first.
106. The phrase "superior asshole" is really not all that funny anymore.
107. New Caprica is not for lovers.
108. Baltar is not my homeboy.
109. I may never use the phrase "hornier than Starbuck in a locker room."
* No, not even if she laughs.
110. I am not the Cylon God.
* Neither is anyone I know.
* Probably.
* At any rate, that is definitely not why they keep beating me at cards.
111. President Roslin does not want to hear about my rash.
112. Not allowed to tell nuggets that if they say "banana" fast enough, it sounds like "gullible."
* No matter how often it works.
113. Not allowed to pass notes in the CIC.
114. Not allowed to make past tense references to Jake the dog as having been "good with honey mustard sauce".
115. Not allowed to see how long I can stand in Col. Tigh's blind spot before he notices me.
116. Not allowed to make "sex with machines" jokes about people who have had relations with known Cylon agents.
* Especially in front of them.
* No, not even if it's Baltar.
117. There is no open mic night in the pilot's break room.
* Nor is there one in the mess hall.
* There is no open mic night anywhere on Galactica.
* Nor on Colonial One.
* There is no open mic night anywhere in the Fleet.
* I am not allowed to start one.
* The same goes for karaoke night.
118. Algae is not "made of people".
119. Not allowed to fake traumatic flashbacks to conflicts I did not participate in (the first Cylon War).
* Especially in front of the press.