WISHLISTS: A Conversation, at Night (Severus/Emmeline)
Author: 7types
Recipient: sehlat_charmer
Title: A Conversation, at Night
Pairing: Severus/Emmeline
Request: a tale of two Slytherins
Rating: G
Word Count: 628
Author's Notes: This prompt certainly gave me a lot think about; I hope this is at least partially what you wanted.
“You must know that this is the only way. Dumbledore said as much.”
“Dumbledore has said quite enough. This is out of the question. This is absolutely out of the question.”
“Severus, I don’t… Well, I was about to say I don’t mind, but that does sound ridiculous. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t especially want to leave everything else either - this world and what have you.”
“Well, that’s nice.”
“I am not expressing this well, but… I’m trying to tell you, I don’t have a deathwish, or a terminal disease, or a martyr complex. But I see what needs to be done, and I am going to do it.”
“You are going to do it! What about me? Oh, wait - this is me we are talking about, after all. Sell out my lover to the Dark Lord? Why, of course, I’d be happy to! For all your murder and treachery needs, Severus Snape’s your man! Apply today and receive two for the price of one! Soul? What soul? What's a soul, anyway? It doesn't even sound like a real word anymore!”
“Severus…”
“No, don’t you ‘Severus’ me. I told you, I promised that night - never again! God, Emmeline, if you have any regard for me at all, as a person, don’t ever bring this up again. I know all too well what Dumbledore thinks of me, but you… please, just don’t.”
“No, you’re right. I wasn’t considering your feelings in this, and your feelings are important. You do not deserve to have all the dirty work dumped on you. The situation is serious, though, if they are becoming this suspicious. What will you do if Bellatrix or another one of them goes to Him?”
“What I have always done: fudge, prevaricate, confuse.”
“You don’t know that it will work.”
“One never does; we all carry our risks.”
“So we do. You’re in a different position from the rest of us, though. In the belly of the beast and all that.”
“It is the position I have chosen. You know that.”
“That doesn’t make me any less concerned. And Dumbledore may be worried about losing information, but I am actually worried about you.”
“I… value that, very much. You see though, that there’s nothing to be done but keep muddling on. There is probably not much to worry about anyway. Bellatrix is mostly the one with the suspicions, and even the Dark Lord must realize that she doesn’t exactly know a hawk from a handsaw.”
“Yes. We’ll be alright. We will get through this and come out on the other side, and someday this will end and we will be alright.”
(Whatever I do, I will do it for you, she didn't say. Not Dumbledore, not the Order. You.)
***
If he had been thinking straight, he would have been suspicious of her giving in just like that. He should have known what she would do - he had to admit, he probably would have done the same.
When the Dark Lord congratulated Severus on providing information leading to the termination of the Order’s agent at 10 Downing Street, Severus repressed the urge to throw away her sacrifice by denying everything. Reverently keeping his gaze on the ground, he accepted this further sin onto his soul - it was not the first, and it would not be the last betrayal. But it never laid easy; inferius-like, it recrudesced inopportunely, prompting life-threatening honesty at especially fraught times. Never again, he would tell himself, never again; there had to be some last line of betrayal that he would not cross, even if it was just words, even if it just meant calling a spade a spade, and a murder a murder. Fortunately, Bellatrix was not the sort to pay attention to what words actually meant.
Recipient: sehlat_charmer
Title: A Conversation, at Night
Pairing: Severus/Emmeline
Request: a tale of two Slytherins
Rating: G
Word Count: 628
Author's Notes: This prompt certainly gave me a lot think about; I hope this is at least partially what you wanted.
“You must know that this is the only way. Dumbledore said as much.”
“Dumbledore has said quite enough. This is out of the question. This is absolutely out of the question.”
“Severus, I don’t… Well, I was about to say I don’t mind, but that does sound ridiculous. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t especially want to leave everything else either - this world and what have you.”
“Well, that’s nice.”
“I am not expressing this well, but… I’m trying to tell you, I don’t have a deathwish, or a terminal disease, or a martyr complex. But I see what needs to be done, and I am going to do it.”
“You are going to do it! What about me? Oh, wait - this is me we are talking about, after all. Sell out my lover to the Dark Lord? Why, of course, I’d be happy to! For all your murder and treachery needs, Severus Snape’s your man! Apply today and receive two for the price of one! Soul? What soul? What's a soul, anyway? It doesn't even sound like a real word anymore!”
“Severus…”
“No, don’t you ‘Severus’ me. I told you, I promised that night - never again! God, Emmeline, if you have any regard for me at all, as a person, don’t ever bring this up again. I know all too well what Dumbledore thinks of me, but you… please, just don’t.”
“No, you’re right. I wasn’t considering your feelings in this, and your feelings are important. You do not deserve to have all the dirty work dumped on you. The situation is serious, though, if they are becoming this suspicious. What will you do if Bellatrix or another one of them goes to Him?”
“What I have always done: fudge, prevaricate, confuse.”
“You don’t know that it will work.”
“One never does; we all carry our risks.”
“So we do. You’re in a different position from the rest of us, though. In the belly of the beast and all that.”
“It is the position I have chosen. You know that.”
“That doesn’t make me any less concerned. And Dumbledore may be worried about losing information, but I am actually worried about you.”
“I… value that, very much. You see though, that there’s nothing to be done but keep muddling on. There is probably not much to worry about anyway. Bellatrix is mostly the one with the suspicions, and even the Dark Lord must realize that she doesn’t exactly know a hawk from a handsaw.”
“Yes. We’ll be alright. We will get through this and come out on the other side, and someday this will end and we will be alright.”
(Whatever I do, I will do it for you, she didn't say. Not Dumbledore, not the Order. You.)
***
If he had been thinking straight, he would have been suspicious of her giving in just like that. He should have known what she would do - he had to admit, he probably would have done the same.
When the Dark Lord congratulated Severus on providing information leading to the termination of the Order’s agent at 10 Downing Street, Severus repressed the urge to throw away her sacrifice by denying everything. Reverently keeping his gaze on the ground, he accepted this further sin onto his soul - it was not the first, and it would not be the last betrayal. But it never laid easy; inferius-like, it recrudesced inopportunely, prompting life-threatening honesty at especially fraught times. Never again, he would tell himself, never again; there had to be some last line of betrayal that he would not cross, even if it was just words, even if it just meant calling a spade a spade, and a murder a murder. Fortunately, Bellatrix was not the sort to pay attention to what words actually meant.