I haven't been sad in a while until today...it feels good to be happy for so long
Some of my convo with jay:
Ally1138: i'm trying to change myself
Ally1138: for the better
Ally1138: i bascially have to be a diff. person lol
Jayr4: no you just have alot of things that bother you, that i dont understand sometimes
Ally1138: u don't have to understand them tho
Jayr4: exactly
Jayr4: i know that
Jayr4: i just try to get you think rationally when every you have a problem with something
Ally1138: i haven't been suicidal in a while
Ally1138: and thats the best feeling ever
Jayr4: you have no reason to be suicidal
Ally1138: i haven't beatn myself up mentally in a while
Jayr4: good
Jayr4: there is nothing wrong with you
Jayr4: you have to understand that first
Jayr4: just be yourself, be as open as you want
Jayr4: dont worry about what other think of you
Jayr4: what is most important is what you think of yourslef
Jayr4: youself
Ally1138: in genearl i like myself
Jayr4: good
Ally1138: i wouldn't take anyones place
Ally1138: sometimes i feel i'm better
Jayr4: then let thoughs who would be comfortable around you, be around you
Ally1138: and what about others?
Jayr4: dont worry about others
Ally1138: where should they go? away from me? lol
Ally1138: anita thinks i'm crazy
Jayr4: if they want to be around ok
Jayr4: if they dont thats ok too
Jayr4: so
Jayr4: who cares what anita thinks
Ally1138: some ppl love me lol
Jayr4: what anita thinks is not going to change anything
Ally1138: some ppl don't
Ally1138: i love when they do
Jayr4: thats the same for everyone
Jayr4: we all love for everyone to love us
Ally1138: i sound like a baby
Ally1138: but why can't everyone love me?
Jayr4: but it just isnt going to happen
Ally1138: i feel some ppl don't give me a chance
Jayr4: there are somepeople in this world who will never be happy
Ally1138: or that they are too cool for me to associate with
Jayr4: and we have to live with that.....
Jayr4: one... the friends who are here for a reason
Jayr4: they are put in your life to help you with something
Jayr4: now these friends may not be close
Jayr4: but they are there to help you for a short period of time
Ally1138: oh i know
Ally1138: learned that a year ago heh
Ally1138: more this year but mhmm yes
Jayr4: after that time is done, then you may never hear or speak to them again in your life
Ally1138: true
Jayr4: two
Jayr4: there are friends here for a season
Ally1138: lol
Jayr4: these friends
Jayr4: are not here to help you but to just befirend you for the time that you happen to live somewhere, such as college
Jayr4: you will be close and hang out and whatever
Jayr4: but also
Ally1138: ah huh
Jayr4: you may never speak to them or hear from them again after college
Ally1138: sometimes it feels like we are using each other
Jayr4: yes
Ally1138: i talk to maybe 3 ppl during break
Ally1138: n those r my best ones
Jayr4: we use eachother for support all the time
Jayr4: then three
Ally1138: i wish i didn't see it as using them
Jayr4: there are the friends for a lifetime
Ally1138: MHM
Ally1138: i'm trying to change myself
Ally1138: for the better
Ally1138: i bascially have to be a diff. person lol
Jayr4: no you just have alot of things that bother you, that i dont understand sometimes
Ally1138: u don't have to understand them tho
Jayr4: exactly
Jayr4: i know that
Jayr4: i just try to get you think rationally when every you have a problem with something
Ally1138: i haven't been suicidal in a while
Ally1138: and thats the best feeling ever
Jayr4: you have no reason to be suicidal
Ally1138: i haven't beatn myself up mentally in a while
Jayr4: good
Jayr4: there is nothing wrong with you
Jayr4: you have to understand that first
Jayr4: just be yourself, be as open as you want
Jayr4: dont worry about what other think of you
Jayr4: what is most important is what you think of yourslef
Jayr4: youself
Ally1138: in genearl i like myself
Jayr4: good
Ally1138: i wouldn't take anyones place
Ally1138: sometimes i feel i'm better
Jayr4: then let thoughs who would be comfortable around you, be around you
Ally1138: and what about others?
Jayr4: dont worry about others
Ally1138: where should they go? away from me? lol
Ally1138: anita thinks i'm crazy
Jayr4: if they want to be around ok
Jayr4: if they dont thats ok too
Jayr4: so
Jayr4: who cares what anita thinks
Ally1138: some ppl love me lol
Jayr4: what anita thinks is not going to change anything
Ally1138: some ppl don't
Ally1138: i love when they do
Jayr4: thats the same for everyone
Jayr4: we all love for everyone to love us
Ally1138: i sound like a baby
Ally1138: but why can't everyone love me?
Jayr4: but it just isnt going to happen
Ally1138: i feel some ppl don't give me a chance
Jayr4: there are somepeople in this world who will never be happy
Ally1138: or that they are too cool for me to associate with
Jayr4: and we have to live with that.....
Jayr4: one... the friends who are here for a reason
Jayr4: they are put in your life to help you with something
Jayr4: now these friends may not be close
Jayr4: but they are there to help you for a short period of time
Ally1138: oh i know
Ally1138: learned that a year ago heh
Ally1138: more this year but mhmm yes
Jayr4: after that time is done, then you may never hear or speak to them again in your life
Ally1138: true
Jayr4: two
Jayr4: there are friends here for a season
Ally1138: lol
Jayr4: these friends
Jayr4: are not here to help you but to just befirend you for the time that you happen to live somewhere, such as college
Jayr4: you will be close and hang out and whatever
Jayr4: but also
Ally1138: ah huh
Jayr4: you may never speak to them or hear from them again after college
Ally1138: sometimes it feels like we are using each other
Jayr4: yes
Ally1138: i talk to maybe 3 ppl during break
Ally1138: n those r my best ones
Jayr4: we use eachother for support all the time
Jayr4: then three
Ally1138: i wish i didn't see it as using them
Jayr4: there are the friends for a lifetime
Ally1138: MHM