King of the Wild Front Ear

[raptroll]

I live on this curvy little street that doesn't connect through because there is a creek behind it and I'm sure a bridge was just not in the budget that year. So, to get to almost anywhere I have to go all the way down my street and then back up another street and then back up another street again. It takes me like a mile to go a hundred yards as the crow flies. That was fine when I had a car but since my vehicle went to the great parking lot in the sky it has become quite annoying. As such I have been exploring alternate routes. One of which is to go south along the creek through this trail that a truck knocked down at some point. The benefit to this way is its a clear route through ankle high grass. The downside is that it takes me through a vacant lot where the next door neighbor yells at me "Hey boy" while I ignore her. The other route is one that I am currently constructing. It is a true trail through deep woods. I have been cutting it using a lopper like device. Everyone tells me to use a machete but I am swearing by the lopper. These woods are thick. I have cut down hundreds of trees. Baby trees, mind you. I kind of feel bad about it but at the same time I don't. Unless its an oak tree. I always feel bad about lopping an oak tree because I love oaks. But I need this trail! It is like manifest destiny. I must conquer this frontier. Also, it is a highly useful trail. My friend's house is just on the other side. And the bus stop is just on the other side. It will save me probably ten to fifteen minutes of walking time. I really need a rake at this point to truly make it look like a trail. At this stage it just looks like a miniature tornado went through and made a path. Also, I need an ax for a few huge limbs that are blocking my path. I also would like to spend some time straightening it. It goes in a quite roundabout way since the woods were so thick I didn't really know where I was going. I just had to listen for car traffic. When the trail is finished I can construct a marker at either end and name it: "Defcon Drive".

Except you can't drive on it.