CHIPS
Yesterday on the way to work I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop. It wasn't even 8 AM yet. Law enforcement truly never sleeps. As soon as I saw him I knew he had my number. His little beady helmet followed me as I passed. He was the first Peace Officer in over 5 years to notice that I did not have a valid inspection or registration sticker. I had grown so cocky regarding this fact. Just two weekends ago I was boasting to Tim Bond that the days of being pulled over for expired stickers was over. Ever since Texas switched from having stickers on your back license plate to just on the front windshield you were virtually home free. Of course, I agreed with him that if you are stopped for other reasons you are still screwed, but on its own it is nothing. In dazzling karmic fashion those words I would soon eat however. The stars were lined up against me. The cop was pulled in backwards into a parking spot on a one way street, perfect for eyeballing inspection stickers as they rolled past. I mean, how often does that happen? Nearly never! Even with his expert positioning the fuzz wasn't sold, however. He whipped his bike right up behind me in traffic and realized he couldn't see my stickers to verify their outdatedness, so sneakily he zoomed up next to me for a better angle. I might have got away due to the impending light just turning yellow. I saw the car in front of the cop braking and I could have tried to blow through the yellow. But what if it turned red whilst I attempted this maneuver? Surely my monetary infractions would be compounded. I resigned myself to my fate and stopped. What sour luck! Even afterwards I still thought it was a once in a lifetime situation. I mean, five plus years of no cop-tastraphies? However, this morning the fear of God was firmly installed. On my way to work again, THE VERY NEXT DAY, I passed a regular old police cruiser. Hyper aware now, I noticed his beady little sunglasses turn and follow me as I passed him. He whipped around! A true U-ey in the middle of the road. He came up behind me at the next light but unfortunately for him this was a one lane style road. I positioned my body between the stickers and he. I had to go for the block! He followed me patiently for a long lonely while, however he did not have the goods. He did not want to risk a false pull over when he wasn't 100% on the stickers. Finally, my fat head in the way frustrated him and he turned away. He knew I could have played that game forever. As a result of this second sign from above that my luck had turned I went during lunch and registered my car. The inspection is soon to follow. Be warned, traffic scofflaws: the jig is up for you, too!