you kill my suicide.
my 18th birthday has had to have been the most amazing birthday i've ever had. all of my best friends were here for me, and everyone made me feel like i was the most celebrated person in the entire world. it was great. my mom bought me a macbook, and TWO TICKETS TO BRITNEY SPEARS FOR ME AND MY SISTER. i cried. it's embarrassing, i realize. haha. but i don't care, because i'm the happiest girl in the world. :] ha.
now i'm in my CLEAN room, i cleaned it on my birthday, actually, and i'm listening to keri hilson. haah, she has some good jamzz. even though some are slow jamz, but i like it. and i bought ferras's cd. he's immaculate.
my sister got me a 50 dollar giftcard for itunes! so youknow. new music is always the best. and i'm going to start making songs because i have garage band now. so it's pretty cool. hah, i already have some cool beats ready for me to sing along to. i just need to write lyrics.
it's so weird thinking back on all eighteen years of my life so called "life". ha. it has been quite an interesting story. i always think about maybe writing a book. but you know, there are so many different people out there that have experienced so much more heartaches in different ways. you know, ferras was actually kidnapped by his father. like, how sad is that? and then his mother had to secretly kidnap him back into the united states. like that's scary. his father told him that they were going to disneyland. messed up.
i really love keri hilson's voice. i hope that she becomes more known and famous. cos she has been around for a long time, and i never even know who she was, and then lil wayne came out in one of her songs, and it's always on the radio, and i, of course, loved it a lot. cos i love lil wayne. he'll always be my guilty pleasure. and anyway, i got really interested in the girl singing, and it happened to be "miss keri baby" haha. so i looked her up, and here i am, with her cd on my itunes, playing all the way through. that's whassup. :]
no one even reads this. no one has a livejournal any more. haha, so i guess i sorta like to vent on here because no one ever reads it anyway. people are too busy with facebook now, and myspace, and the new thing: TWITTER. i have to say, i have one, and it's pretty cool, but i don't quite understand it yet. but maybe soon. it takes me time. cos i can never focus on anything. but keri hilson has an incredible voice. and i like it a lot. and i like listening to her slow jamzz. haha. "all the ladies in the house toniiiight". hahah.
people are so interesting. they need you, or they make it seem that way, and then they leave you when you least expect it, because you could've sworn just a second ago that they really cared. it's weird. i'll never understand it. because, in my mind, if i need you, i make it apparent, and if i don't, i don't. and i don't tell you i need you if i don't, and i don't act like i care if i don't really care, and i never lie and tell you you're my friend, and tell others that you're not. and i never tell other people your secrets, or your feelings, cos they're yours. and i never use them against you either, because that's not fair. i'm not an unfair person. i guess i just don't have it in me.
but let me tell you something, i've gone through so many friends and they were all pretty much the same. but in their own different ways. if that makes sense. but like, now, the people i have are all i need. and they're not the same as all the others. they're true blue. tha's f'sho. but i have definitely had my share of the worst. i've been completed, then torn apart, and placed back together again, and broken once more. but the last few times weren't just a tear or a crack, the damage was more like shattered glass. or shattered porcelain. and i'll never forget it. ever.
anyway, my eighteenth birthday, i guess, just led me to think all this random stuff. stream of consciousness. sorry to have made you read all of it if you just so happened to stumble upon my livejournal. but thank you if you did read it. cos i don't really expect anyone to. haha.
happy birthday, stefani ariann.
now i'm in my CLEAN room, i cleaned it on my birthday, actually, and i'm listening to keri hilson. haah, she has some good jamzz. even though some are slow jamz, but i like it. and i bought ferras's cd. he's immaculate.
my sister got me a 50 dollar giftcard for itunes! so youknow. new music is always the best. and i'm going to start making songs because i have garage band now. so it's pretty cool. hah, i already have some cool beats ready for me to sing along to. i just need to write lyrics.
it's so weird thinking back on all eighteen years of my life so called "life". ha. it has been quite an interesting story. i always think about maybe writing a book. but you know, there are so many different people out there that have experienced so much more heartaches in different ways. you know, ferras was actually kidnapped by his father. like, how sad is that? and then his mother had to secretly kidnap him back into the united states. like that's scary. his father told him that they were going to disneyland. messed up.
i really love keri hilson's voice. i hope that she becomes more known and famous. cos she has been around for a long time, and i never even know who she was, and then lil wayne came out in one of her songs, and it's always on the radio, and i, of course, loved it a lot. cos i love lil wayne. he'll always be my guilty pleasure. and anyway, i got really interested in the girl singing, and it happened to be "miss keri baby" haha. so i looked her up, and here i am, with her cd on my itunes, playing all the way through. that's whassup. :]
no one even reads this. no one has a livejournal any more. haha, so i guess i sorta like to vent on here because no one ever reads it anyway. people are too busy with facebook now, and myspace, and the new thing: TWITTER. i have to say, i have one, and it's pretty cool, but i don't quite understand it yet. but maybe soon. it takes me time. cos i can never focus on anything. but keri hilson has an incredible voice. and i like it a lot. and i like listening to her slow jamzz. haha. "all the ladies in the house toniiiight". hahah.
people are so interesting. they need you, or they make it seem that way, and then they leave you when you least expect it, because you could've sworn just a second ago that they really cared. it's weird. i'll never understand it. because, in my mind, if i need you, i make it apparent, and if i don't, i don't. and i don't tell you i need you if i don't, and i don't act like i care if i don't really care, and i never lie and tell you you're my friend, and tell others that you're not. and i never tell other people your secrets, or your feelings, cos they're yours. and i never use them against you either, because that's not fair. i'm not an unfair person. i guess i just don't have it in me.
but let me tell you something, i've gone through so many friends and they were all pretty much the same. but in their own different ways. if that makes sense. but like, now, the people i have are all i need. and they're not the same as all the others. they're true blue. tha's f'sho. but i have definitely had my share of the worst. i've been completed, then torn apart, and placed back together again, and broken once more. but the last few times weren't just a tear or a crack, the damage was more like shattered glass. or shattered porcelain. and i'll never forget it. ever.
anyway, my eighteenth birthday, i guess, just led me to think all this random stuff. stream of consciousness. sorry to have made you read all of it if you just so happened to stumble upon my livejournal. but thank you if you did read it. cos i don't really expect anyone to. haha.
happy birthday, stefani ariann.
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