I Can't Help But Smile . . . .
well..
most of you know about the situation between me and this certain guy.
and how things have been rather eh since he declared us as only "friends."
and that was like a month ago.
before he declared us as just being friends - i had been living the high life.
i truly liked him..like, really had feelings for him.
we would flirt like it was our jobs lol [and things had escalated to the point of hooking up].
he would take me out on dates, pay for everything, talk about the future with us.
he would tell me everything he wanted me to experience, and all he wanted to do with me.
i just never knew how he truly felt about me..because he would send me mixed signals.
until that one night when he could only tell me one word - "friends."
i was honestly devastated, and cried over it.
but soon got over it [because of my amazing friends <3].
i made myself stop having those feelings for him..
because i was sick of always falling for a guy who didn't have feelings back.
we would hang out everyday at school, and i thought things would be different with us.
then again, that was just what i thought.
because he was still fine with me, and didn't really think much of it.
for the first couple of days after that whole incident, we were rather chill.
we would just hang out, and not talk and interact as much.
then, it didn't take long until he started getting super flirtatious and cute with me again.
we were like that for a couple of weeks, and not once did we kiss or anything.
he would randomly make references to our past hookups.
he would also sometimes stare at me, we'd be face-to-face, and he would pretty much tell me to kiss him.
i would have loved to! but, no, i held back.
i assumed he wasn't serious, and i didn't want to look like a fool, or seem desperate.
he had this new thing with me..
he would jokingly make fun of me, or mock me, and i would pretend to get upset.
then, he would tell me "i'm just kidding, jamica, i still love you."
what was i supposed to say to that?!
i would always be like "no you don't." - because i never knew if he truly meant it.
and not once did i ever say "i love you." back.
i kind of felt bad though, because he told me he loved me a few times.
and i even kind of felt obliged to say it back - but i stood my ground.
and one day, he kissed me on the cheek.
now, with all these things accumulating..what was he doing to me?
was he trying to lead me on?
he was sending me mixed signals..again.
and it was kind of making me like him again.
so today - i told him how this all has been messing with me.
i came right out and told him that he was leading me on.
with all this talk about us hooking up..and all the flirting..and all the touchy-feeliness..
it was like he was building me up..and then we would do nothing.
i told him that sometimes i just wanted to attack him [in a good way lol]
how sometimes i just wanted to kiss him!
but i told him i just never knew how to act around him.
i never knew what he was thinking, and how he truly felt.
and he told me that he was thinking those things, too.
i told him i'd initiate, and would act on my feelings.
he told me i could act on my feelings whenever i wanted!
he then explained to me that his past g/f's had never been like that with him, so he didn't know how to act with me.
he didn't know how to express his feelings to me.
i explained to him that i like being all cute, touchy feely, and flirty with him..
we had the best conversation ever today!
everything is out in the open between us, and it was all honest.
after we talked, everything changed.
we flirted, and that eventually led to us kissing.
and omg i had missed kissing him sooo much!
it felt so right.
and it was all cute, and sincere.
i waited for him in his car while he went to his 2 o'clock class, and he kissed me before he got out of his car.
that was the spontaneous attention i had been needing/wanting!
then, when he came back, he offered to drive me to my car [that was parked at wilson farms on sheridan and elmwood].
so he took me there, and we said our goodbyes.
i delayed getting out of the car, so we talked about some random thing.
he then leaned in and kissed me.
we stopped kissing, and he hugged me.
we were cheek to cheek, so i kissed his cheek.
then we started talking about hanging out monday night [which i hope that really does happen!].
and after that, we just looked at each other, and we kissed again!
then we said our final goodbyes, i got out of the car, and left.
i drove home with the hugest smile on my face!!
everything just felt so much better!
i hope this great feeling lasts for a looooong time lol.
i sure have missed this feeling....
so yeah -
that's my update for you all!
i'm so sorry if you actually took the time to read all of it!
you are truly my real friend..and i love you to death!
leave me some love people!!
thanks :]
*Jamie <3
most of you know about the situation between me and this certain guy.
and how things have been rather eh since he declared us as only "friends."
and that was like a month ago.
before he declared us as just being friends - i had been living the high life.
i truly liked him..like, really had feelings for him.
we would flirt like it was our jobs lol [and things had escalated to the point of hooking up].
he would take me out on dates, pay for everything, talk about the future with us.
he would tell me everything he wanted me to experience, and all he wanted to do with me.
i just never knew how he truly felt about me..because he would send me mixed signals.
until that one night when he could only tell me one word - "friends."
i was honestly devastated, and cried over it.
but soon got over it [because of my amazing friends <3].
i made myself stop having those feelings for him..
because i was sick of always falling for a guy who didn't have feelings back.
we would hang out everyday at school, and i thought things would be different with us.
then again, that was just what i thought.
because he was still fine with me, and didn't really think much of it.
for the first couple of days after that whole incident, we were rather chill.
we would just hang out, and not talk and interact as much.
then, it didn't take long until he started getting super flirtatious and cute with me again.
we were like that for a couple of weeks, and not once did we kiss or anything.
he would randomly make references to our past hookups.
he would also sometimes stare at me, we'd be face-to-face, and he would pretty much tell me to kiss him.
i would have loved to! but, no, i held back.
i assumed he wasn't serious, and i didn't want to look like a fool, or seem desperate.
he had this new thing with me..
he would jokingly make fun of me, or mock me, and i would pretend to get upset.
then, he would tell me "i'm just kidding, jamica, i still love you."
what was i supposed to say to that?!
i would always be like "no you don't." - because i never knew if he truly meant it.
and not once did i ever say "i love you." back.
i kind of felt bad though, because he told me he loved me a few times.
and i even kind of felt obliged to say it back - but i stood my ground.
and one day, he kissed me on the cheek.
now, with all these things accumulating..what was he doing to me?
was he trying to lead me on?
he was sending me mixed signals..again.
and it was kind of making me like him again.
so today - i told him how this all has been messing with me.
i came right out and told him that he was leading me on.
with all this talk about us hooking up..and all the flirting..and all the touchy-feeliness..
it was like he was building me up..and then we would do nothing.
i told him that sometimes i just wanted to attack him [in a good way lol]
how sometimes i just wanted to kiss him!
but i told him i just never knew how to act around him.
i never knew what he was thinking, and how he truly felt.
and he told me that he was thinking those things, too.
i told him i'd initiate, and would act on my feelings.
he told me i could act on my feelings whenever i wanted!
he then explained to me that his past g/f's had never been like that with him, so he didn't know how to act with me.
he didn't know how to express his feelings to me.
i explained to him that i like being all cute, touchy feely, and flirty with him..
we had the best conversation ever today!
everything is out in the open between us, and it was all honest.
after we talked, everything changed.
we flirted, and that eventually led to us kissing.
and omg i had missed kissing him sooo much!
it felt so right.
and it was all cute, and sincere.
i waited for him in his car while he went to his 2 o'clock class, and he kissed me before he got out of his car.
that was the spontaneous attention i had been needing/wanting!
then, when he came back, he offered to drive me to my car [that was parked at wilson farms on sheridan and elmwood].
so he took me there, and we said our goodbyes.
i delayed getting out of the car, so we talked about some random thing.
he then leaned in and kissed me.
we stopped kissing, and he hugged me.
we were cheek to cheek, so i kissed his cheek.
then we started talking about hanging out monday night [which i hope that really does happen!].
and after that, we just looked at each other, and we kissed again!
then we said our final goodbyes, i got out of the car, and left.
i drove home with the hugest smile on my face!!
everything just felt so much better!
i hope this great feeling lasts for a looooong time lol.
i sure have missed this feeling....
so yeah -
that's my update for you all!
i'm so sorry if you actually took the time to read all of it!
you are truly my real friend..and i love you to death!
leave me some love people!!
thanks :]
*Jamie <3