And you know all the words, so sing along for me...
When I was a little kid, me and my family used to go in the pool practically everyday in the summertime. We had all of these stupid pool toys, and Kerry was always making up crazy games to play. But I loved it. I'd stay in until my skin was burnt and my hair turned green from the chlorine, but I never cared. We had these huge trees in the backyard, and I was convinced that if I climbed them I'd be able to touch the clouds. That if I went far enough, I'd find myself right in the middle of heaven.
I can't remember the day I realized that was impossible. I just know that somehow, somewhere along the way I stopped believing in the things that used to make life so extraordinary to me.
I even stopped believing in you, eventually. I stopped believing that everything could be okay, that we could work out our differences and make it through to the other side. The concept of fate used to mean something to me. I used to think that two people could be so impossibly perfect for each other that nothing and no one could keep them apart. I used to love blindly, with no regard to consequence and no fear of pain. And I definitely felt pain. A hurt so massive that I felt I couldn't bear it. I woke up everyday for months without feeling any better, wondering why I even got out of bed. I cried myself to sleep every single night, all the while knowing that I had no choice but to wake up and hoping I didn't. And when i finally started to feel a little better, I again put myself in a position to get hurt. That's what love is. That's what love does. And to be able to have felt that, to have had that kind of hope and to have been so blindly in love with another...well, I consider myself nothing but lucky to have had something that amazing in my life. I used to hold onto you above anything else, because I had so much hope and I believed in things that were impossible.
I can't remember when I stopped believing. I just know that one day I did, and that's the day I gave up on us. That's the day my world fell apart, and everything in it shattered to pieces. Things that used to mean something to me stopped mattering. I started doing things that went against everything I was, everything I claimed to be. I stopped caring. I just wanted to do something, anything, because I'd rather feel pain than be numb. I'd rather be reckless and irresponsible and a little too wild with my life.
When you lose your heart, you lose the things that make you who you are. And if you're not you, does it really matter who you are?
I can't remember the day I realized that was impossible. I just know that somehow, somewhere along the way I stopped believing in the things that used to make life so extraordinary to me.
I even stopped believing in you, eventually. I stopped believing that everything could be okay, that we could work out our differences and make it through to the other side. The concept of fate used to mean something to me. I used to think that two people could be so impossibly perfect for each other that nothing and no one could keep them apart. I used to love blindly, with no regard to consequence and no fear of pain. And I definitely felt pain. A hurt so massive that I felt I couldn't bear it. I woke up everyday for months without feeling any better, wondering why I even got out of bed. I cried myself to sleep every single night, all the while knowing that I had no choice but to wake up and hoping I didn't. And when i finally started to feel a little better, I again put myself in a position to get hurt. That's what love is. That's what love does. And to be able to have felt that, to have had that kind of hope and to have been so blindly in love with another...well, I consider myself nothing but lucky to have had something that amazing in my life. I used to hold onto you above anything else, because I had so much hope and I believed in things that were impossible.
I can't remember when I stopped believing. I just know that one day I did, and that's the day I gave up on us. That's the day my world fell apart, and everything in it shattered to pieces. Things that used to mean something to me stopped mattering. I started doing things that went against everything I was, everything I claimed to be. I stopped caring. I just wanted to do something, anything, because I'd rather feel pain than be numb. I'd rather be reckless and irresponsible and a little too wild with my life.
When you lose your heart, you lose the things that make you who you are. And if you're not you, does it really matter who you are?