(no subject)
Its funny how with good news, always comes bad news.
I'm sitting here in my apartment extatic that I'm getting married. Its the whole overwhelming feeling of, OMG! Its a lot of chaos. I know its not for another two years and a bit, but still. I have a gazillion thoughts running through my little brain all the time. Its actually quite exhausting!!! haha.
But as happy as this makes me.. I can hardly contain my smile, todays news killed every happy bone in my body.
Matt is dying. Matt is actually dying. I knew he was going to die when we found out that he had a brain tumor, but now, its reality.
Matt is now in a carehome and he's not getting out. He couldn't walk yesterday and he started coughing up blood. He went to the hospital this morning and they said their isn't anything we can do for you now, so they sent him to a care home by medivan and thats where he is.
He's going to get anti-seizure medication and he gets pain meds every 4 hours through his bicep..
We don't know how much longer he has to live and this wait today to see what was going on was the longest day of my life.
I have Zac in hysterics on the phone, Jess infront of me crying non stop, I'm at work trying to keep myself together.. and Thom is gabbing with her friends instead of helping members.. So i had to get off the phone and serve them when I'm ready to fall apart.. I was so mad, but I held it together.
So every happy part of me is still there.. but this weight of Matt is just the worst thing. My friend is going to die and there isn't anything I can do to help him but go and visit him and be with him. It breaks my heart to watch him go through this. I don't know what to do or say for Zac but just be there and offer a shoulder whenever I can.
I love you Matt... I love you so much and so does everyone else.
I'm sitting here in my apartment extatic that I'm getting married. Its the whole overwhelming feeling of, OMG! Its a lot of chaos. I know its not for another two years and a bit, but still. I have a gazillion thoughts running through my little brain all the time. Its actually quite exhausting!!! haha.
But as happy as this makes me.. I can hardly contain my smile, todays news killed every happy bone in my body.
Matt is dying. Matt is actually dying. I knew he was going to die when we found out that he had a brain tumor, but now, its reality.
Matt is now in a carehome and he's not getting out. He couldn't walk yesterday and he started coughing up blood. He went to the hospital this morning and they said their isn't anything we can do for you now, so they sent him to a care home by medivan and thats where he is.
He's going to get anti-seizure medication and he gets pain meds every 4 hours through his bicep..
We don't know how much longer he has to live and this wait today to see what was going on was the longest day of my life.
I have Zac in hysterics on the phone, Jess infront of me crying non stop, I'm at work trying to keep myself together.. and Thom is gabbing with her friends instead of helping members.. So i had to get off the phone and serve them when I'm ready to fall apart.. I was so mad, but I held it together.
So every happy part of me is still there.. but this weight of Matt is just the worst thing. My friend is going to die and there isn't anything I can do to help him but go and visit him and be with him. It breaks my heart to watch him go through this. I don't know what to do or say for Zac but just be there and offer a shoulder whenever I can.
I love you Matt... I love you so much and so does everyone else.