South ~ VS ~ North? Money ~ VS ~ Single Parents? Manners Are a MUST Have!!
So, I moved from Chicago Illinois to Virginia in 2016. I was born and raised in IL, I am the middle of 3 girls and I have the first born of 6 nephews and 1 niece. I have more cousins and second cousins than I can count or name. We are a very large group, though I have 1 son 1 stepson, 1 stepdaughter ALL spoiled equally and ALL well mannered. However the focus of this "post Christmas" entry is the lack of respect and manners I have seen while being back in IL after living in Virginia since 2016. We've been back before but I think 2 years was the longest we have gone without returning. I was absolutely struck dumb by the blatant disrespect I saw in the semi and adult children of my family toward others, extended and immediate.
The first was the son of one of my cousins, which, if I am to be TRULY honest, I do not expect too much from that family. I have been seen as the "Black Sheep" for so many years it just does not matter anymore. However, we do a grab bag which I was told had a $30 limit (By my sisters who both seem to have a bottomless well of money) come to find out it is really $25 well that is ok we made it personal. We had 2 custom pillows made, $30 each with our band logo, taped to it was a $10 Amazon card and 2 bags of our homemade beef jerky (which people seem to not be able to get enough of). The youngster (high school age)Picked that gift, I moved to warn him but as children often do he was ripping into it and then at the top of his lungs for an hour protested the "Crappy gift" he got with the "Probably inedible" small batch jerky we made. No less than 4 adults told him to know it off and over and over he professed the "suck" of this gift even after I told him that we made it. Mind you this child in Neurotypical, meaning there's nothing wrong aside from needing a good dose of true parenting!
I have to say that I did not want to even GO to this party because of stuff like this, offensive children, adults who ignore you unless you force yourself near them or ask them something directly, I gave that up years ago and sat chilling out trying to stop the headache I had from the enormous shrill. Think of a giant super over crowded bar then raise the pitch to Minnie Mouse. There are no words. Needless to say my husband who made me go in the car on the way home said. "You were right, never ever again, that was the most horrific event with the most ill mannered people I have ever met. I held back the "Thats what I told you Why I didn't offing want to go!" Suffice it to say my point was made and I laughed, though I couldn't hear myself laugh.
My last bit was on Christmas eve ok so I think I have written about my 2 sisters having their lake house together now it's their place to make memories t which we are excluded since we live nowhere near there but we were excluded from even the OFFER of going in with them so that WE could be a part of it. and they used to have me sleeping in a closet room on an air mattress then made the closet into a small room with a bed and some full closets of TP and such. I digress; We were having a WONDERFUL Christmas Eve dinner, and between dinner and desert the kids (Minus all 3 of ours) started chanting "Hey Ho Grandma J has got to go!" Now, there were adults present, one joined in and two sat there completely offended (My husband and I) and I stopped them and asked what that was all about. Apparently my younger sister told my mother not to bring a favorite appetizer to a party and the children revolted at my mother! They should be revolting at my sister!! So cut to the ride back with my parents I say something because I literally saw how this affected her you could see her sinking in her chair with her head down and eyes closed. I was so angry I could spit nails. Did my father take my side? Nope he said it's only a joke and just because I'm offended doesn't mean it isn't funny.... It ISN'T FUNNY! It hurts her!
So my entire point to all of this is that NONE of this would happen in the South, none.. There would be some zebra red and white striped semi adults running around with switch marks because the level of disrespect that we have seen so far is appalling. If I did not love my mother so much I'd never come back but I do. I cannot stand the berating, the attitudes, the "Me me me generation" It leaves me hating this holiday because the only actions I can control are mine and it is VERY difficult to rein in my anger, it is even effecting my sleep. My mother is LITERALLY bent over because she's been so berated for so long that she is permanently looking down not up. Yes, that CAN and DOES happen I have the proof. I have asked for patience and guidance from my personal higher power but this is just killing me.