November 14, 2018
Head is full. Another day. Of dishes and a questionable glass of wine. I already had my chocolate milk for the day. My caffiene. It was a constant stream today and now my head beats to the sound of unwanted pulsing. Boom. And that's how life happens.
To help me. A stream of consciousness. Sometimes I do not know where to begin and that is when I know that it has been too long since I've written a word. Others words are always going. Replaying. Running circles. A moment to myself is sacred. A moment to myself is rare. The 'D' on my keyboard is broken, but I am too broke to buy a new one.
To re-enter in my life with the same. The sameness as before. Offering nothing but words. Of I wills and I won'ts. Hardly showing anything for it but a couple of days of being in an agreeable and good mood. I want to trust it.
The smile you were given was unreal. He missed you. Stay sober. It is all worth recieving a smile like that. Get it together, man. Get it together and stay together.
Keep it simple, I know it's complicated.
So I sit here and stare at this blank wall. I am unplugged. I am procrastinating a research paper, but I feel justified because it bores me and I just cannot seem to get excited about it. I just want it to end. At the end of the day of its due dates there will be 2,200 words. Just words.
I am making it due Tuesday in my head. I cannot take anymore.