It's A Small World After All - Part Eleven
Would you just look at the time! It's time for Part Eleven of It's A Small World, a 'you suck at parenting' challenge. In the last update, France lost all his money because of the Eurozone crisis because the lot bugged. Happily the genie lamp also bugged and he was able to wish for money without actually using his wishes. Or something.
Then he used the cash to buy a strip club. The teens loved it.
Let's start with a shot of Canada on the exercise bike, before we forget what he looks like.
I'd never seen a sim feed a pet table scraps before, so I took a picture, just for you lot. ^^
You may remember that a few updates ago, I had France make a move on the maid. He's still harassing her now, but at least this time, she seems to be enjoying it.
But we'll leave her for now, because France has a new target in sight.
Ugh, my game is full of glitches. I had France ask Spain out on a date, then made him call a taxi so they could go somewhere. As soon as they arrived, the date auto-ended. Of course, it was a crap date because they hadn't had a chance to do anything!
France: Wait, wait, let's try that again!
OK OK I GET IT, I WILL FIX THIS!
Ukraine's on ice. :)
Poor Seychelles is really having crummy luck on the chance cards. :(
She's not the only one.
And yet somehow, Iris still got promoted.
America needs a logic point for his job, so I have France play a few games of chess with him.
America: Right, logic, let's do this. Name me a game. It can be any game at all.
France: Chess.
America: Draughts, poker, any game at all.
France: Chess.
America: Subbuteo, Snakes and Ladders, you name it.
France: Chess.
America: Monopoly, maybe? I'll let you go first.
France: CHESS.
America: It's not faaaaair, Liechtenstein and that guy who looks like me but not as good looking get to play poker!
France: That's because they're better at their jobs than you are.
England sleeps with one eye open. I like to think that's so Switzerland can't sneak up on him.
England: Actually, it's so France can't sneak up on me.
Mr Wheatley is a fucking idiot. Who the hell sends a cat to go and get a tuna sandwich?
Buying the club cleaned France out and with all those demotions and fines, we're not getting much cash in. So France goes on a date with NyoAmerica.
America: They sell burgers here, neat! +500
France: Your eyes are like... um, sapphires? Didn't they use to be blue?
America: Aww, stop, you're making me blush.
NyoRussia: *lurk*lurk*lurk*
France: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
America: I dunno, are you wondering where you'd get a 100 foot working model of Optimus Prime with a Mickey D's in the head too?
THEY ARE ONLY MAKING OUT, HONEST! Lol, but wow, those are some seriously naughty looking animations there. XD
America: OK, yeah, that was better than a giant robot with a built in burger bar.
France: Baby, I'm better that any robot.
And good times were had.
IF YOU CAN DODGE A WRENCH, YOU CAN DODGE A BALL!
I sure do hope no-one throws a wrench at these kids.
Belgium skipped school again, and there's currently no car to drive her. So this happened. Oops.
Not pictured are several hundred pictures of Liechtenstein hogging the ballet bar. I put another one upstairs so someone else could get a chance to dance.
England: *just keep swimming*
Groan.
America sneaks by with some flowers and the same crappy poem Belgium wrote.
The chess paid off.
And France unlocks the smooth talk interaction, allowing him to actually pull roses out of nowhere. At least I hope it's from nowhere. If it's not from nowhere, I hope they have no thorns, because ouch.
I wasn't lying earlier when I said Canada was better at his job, he had all the skills he needed but just couldn't get promoted. Can't think why...
Canada: They thought I was America. :(
Ah, that'd be it.
And France finally wins over his French maid.
Just some kitty teasing.
America: Who the hell put computer chess in the game system? Because you're not funny.
Belgium finally sits down and ploughs through her mountain of homework. It takes several hours, but hopefully she won't be sent to military school or whatever.
And England makes a new enemy.
Probably a good thing he's found someone new to pick on as Switzerland has almost twice as many body points. Thanks to the fight club mod, that makes him pretty much uncrushable.
Switzerland: I AM INVINCIBLE!
Seychelles: When can I go home? I'm almost an adult.
Almost, but not quite. You've still got college to get through!
Today in Things I Never Knew Were Possible In This Game: cat's can drink from the puddles left by broken showers. I wonder if they can drink from the ones left by broken toilets? I hope not, because ew.
Oh look, it's England's mortal enemy!
Switzerland: What?
No, the other one. I wonder what nefarious plan she's plotting?
Townie: Heh heh heh, they'll never suspect this!
France: You know I can see you, right?
Townie: Ha ha ha, they'll never cope without their newspaper!
France: That was PATHETIC.
Yeah... let's not send the cat to pick up a bag of fish this time.
Oh my gosh that's so precious.
Anyway, I send France to check on the strip club and holy shit, cop a load of this guy's name! XD HEY, ARE YOU RANDY?
Randy: Yes?
Then stop looking at strippers! BWAHAHAHAHA! OMG dying right now.
Randy: You're not funny and you'll die alone.
France: Wait, don't go! So you're Randy? Wanna see some strippers, Randy? Wanna be less randy, Randy? Because we can do that, Randy!
Randy: OH MY GODDDDDD, LEAVE ME ALONE!
France: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. How about a free dance? I'll even do it myself!
Randy: NOOOOOOOOO!
France: His loss.
Belgium: Oooooooooh, I like this place.
Switzerland: Hey, you, gimmee a beer.
Bartender: ID.
Switzerland: I'm over a thousand years old, gimmee a fuckin' beer.
Bartender: ID.
Switzerland: Ugh, fine, gimmee a coke.
Looks like Switzerland found beer anyway.
Switzerland: WOOOO WATCH ME LIMBO *hic*
After his dance, I make France harass charm more punters into the club.
France: How about it, lady? I'll bet it's decades since you saw a hot, nubile teenage boy strip down and grind a metal pole before thrusting his groin in the air, just for you?
Conflicted Old Lady: I want to... but it feels so wrong! Wait, give me a few minutes.
France: OK, no pressure. If you want more advice, I'll be inside, watching the show.
Oh look, even sim!me turned up!
Sim God: Not perving, honest! Just checking it all works properly. Also, my hat's broken, you might wanna fix that.
Switzerland: Hey pretty lady, wanna dance? Only 50 bucks!
Sim God: Um, no thanks, little boy. I'll pass.
Anyway! Back home, Iris returns with that promotion.
And France continues his quest to spread the love by attempting to seduce more service sims. Why go out looking for love when you can ask them to come over and fix the toilet at the same time?
France: Here's a tip, just for you.
Repairman: Wow, thanks!
France: They're the tips I got from stripping! Still warm from my g-string!
Repairman: ...
France: Isn't that romantic?!
Repairman: Um, do excuse me, I um, have to go unclog the toilet some more.
England's been doing well with the music cards.
Canada: Good heavens, I'm fit!
But other sims (namely Belgium) need body points and are just not using the equipment. So after buying a new car, France drags everyone to the local gym for some exercise. It's risky because this was before I'd fixed the random crashes.
Belgium: LOOK OUT BELOW!
And I shall leave you with a picture of Seychelles whistling! Until next time!
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