and then all was right with the world. . .
he made up for horrible behavior so nicely. we hung out on sunday, drove my drunk ass home and slept with me. and then drove me to class at 7:30 in the am. fuck yes. all was great until it came time for me to call him to come pick me up.
i shut my phone off the night before. which is bad considering my recent nextel experiences. ..
cause it wouldn't turn back on. so i had to walk from eppley all of the way to his house. and it was cold. and i had on flip flops. not cool. and i get there, and of course i'm pissed times twelve. and he wants to get cedar point tix. .. so we do and i am still mad, and horrible company at this point. such is life. so of course he wants nothing to do with me.
we decide to reconvene later for the pistons game. after he stops by and asks for money he owes of course. not to say hi, to get what is owed. gah!!!!
but i tried to forget about it,and we had a great evening, and our bad boys won. i also got snoggered and kissed the puppy repeatedly. v. good. and then i wanted tb so badly. but i couldn't walk or drive. so he drove, even though he prolly shouldn't have. i love him for it. then we had drunken sex and passed out. at least until we both kept tossing and turning.
and finally at 6 am he got up and moved to the floor. i felt bad taking his whole bed, so i just got up and went home. i felt icky doing it. cause all i wanted was to lay next to him. and all i could think about was how i only have a few more nightsleft with him and then POOF!! hes gone.
that really sucks, and here i am crying about it now. he went home with me today to get my suitcase and ended up meeting almost the entire extended family. we ate $88 salmon, which i picked out. i think my dad may kill me!! and both parties seemed pleased. i like him so much, such a good fit with my family. . .
and then we rode home in almost absolute silence. not so good. he played tetris and i drove. such a long tiring drive. and here i sit, when i could be spending time with him. i have so many questions running through my head about us. none of which i can answer. either i have to ask him, or time will have to answer them. both are a gamble, and that breaks my heart. i want us to work. i am willing to give up so much to be with him.what is wrong with me?i have been crying for the past hour about what is to be. and i cannot change it, and it isn't here yet. so why the hell am i so worked up about it?
thats the point megs made. she stopped by and saw my snotty self. she calmed me down a bit, and i went with her to get chinese. we ordered take out, at our favorite place, golden wok. she needed to smooth things over with her and ben. i didn't get anything, being that i ate a shit load of expensive salmon. the man who took our order must have thought i looked like shit, because he gave me an eggroll.
i don't even like eggrolls, but i ate this one. because he gave it to me. makes me want to cry all over again. its the little things so many times in life. that man makes me feel so much better. and no one else could do that. i am so mixed up right now. and i really want to call aaron up and ask him if he wants some of this eggroll. i would have saved it, but they don't keep. and it smelled so delicious. this feeling of stuffed nausea is worth it. thank you mr. chinese man. you made my day.
still i am sad and sleepy, but not so alone this time.
i am still in love with life, but my life as i know it may change, and then i am not so sure how i feel.
hypothetically, it could work out. too bad it is better to plan for your life, and not your life.
i shut my phone off the night before. which is bad considering my recent nextel experiences. ..
cause it wouldn't turn back on. so i had to walk from eppley all of the way to his house. and it was cold. and i had on flip flops. not cool. and i get there, and of course i'm pissed times twelve. and he wants to get cedar point tix. .. so we do and i am still mad, and horrible company at this point. such is life. so of course he wants nothing to do with me.
we decide to reconvene later for the pistons game. after he stops by and asks for money he owes of course. not to say hi, to get what is owed. gah!!!!
but i tried to forget about it,and we had a great evening, and our bad boys won. i also got snoggered and kissed the puppy repeatedly. v. good. and then i wanted tb so badly. but i couldn't walk or drive. so he drove, even though he prolly shouldn't have. i love him for it. then we had drunken sex and passed out. at least until we both kept tossing and turning.
and finally at 6 am he got up and moved to the floor. i felt bad taking his whole bed, so i just got up and went home. i felt icky doing it. cause all i wanted was to lay next to him. and all i could think about was how i only have a few more nightsleft with him and then POOF!! hes gone.
that really sucks, and here i am crying about it now. he went home with me today to get my suitcase and ended up meeting almost the entire extended family. we ate $88 salmon, which i picked out. i think my dad may kill me!! and both parties seemed pleased. i like him so much, such a good fit with my family. . .
and then we rode home in almost absolute silence. not so good. he played tetris and i drove. such a long tiring drive. and here i sit, when i could be spending time with him. i have so many questions running through my head about us. none of which i can answer. either i have to ask him, or time will have to answer them. both are a gamble, and that breaks my heart. i want us to work. i am willing to give up so much to be with him.what is wrong with me?i have been crying for the past hour about what is to be. and i cannot change it, and it isn't here yet. so why the hell am i so worked up about it?
thats the point megs made. she stopped by and saw my snotty self. she calmed me down a bit, and i went with her to get chinese. we ordered take out, at our favorite place, golden wok. she needed to smooth things over with her and ben. i didn't get anything, being that i ate a shit load of expensive salmon. the man who took our order must have thought i looked like shit, because he gave me an eggroll.
i don't even like eggrolls, but i ate this one. because he gave it to me. makes me want to cry all over again. its the little things so many times in life. that man makes me feel so much better. and no one else could do that. i am so mixed up right now. and i really want to call aaron up and ask him if he wants some of this eggroll. i would have saved it, but they don't keep. and it smelled so delicious. this feeling of stuffed nausea is worth it. thank you mr. chinese man. you made my day.
still i am sad and sleepy, but not so alone this time.
i am still in love with life, but my life as i know it may change, and then i am not so sure how i feel.
hypothetically, it could work out. too bad it is better to plan for your life, and not your life.