May 19, 2004 08:42
I am slow to realize that this summer is going to rock and suck at the same time. everytime something good happens, something bad happensto counteract it. and vice versa.
that should make for some interesting entries. i enjoy having the internet 24/7. i guess that is one of the few perks of living at school.
i am so sick of paying for food. i think it is overpriced. maybe from now on i will just starve???
yeah right, i love to eat. who am i kidding??
on the upside of things, the boy told me he loved me. and told me that i am his girlfriend, the only one who's opinion matters. such responsibility.
however, i am unconvinced. as soon as i give in to that rubbish, i'll be sure to get my heart tromped on. but in the meantime,i am going to indulge myself before he moves home for a month. (t minus 10 days) lets make the most i guess.
i DO want to kiss him every minute, every hour, every day. . .
pathetic and sappy, but true.
but has anyone noticed how easily i fall in and out of love. i think i would love the whole world if i were capable. but actually feeling loved by someone else, now that is a feat. and he makes me feel safe and reassured. its just when hes not here, hammering it in to my head that i have issues.
and besides. . .did i NOT swear off guys?? yes i did. wtf? what am i doing here?? i have lost control and am spiraling into this mess.
and another thing. i need to start taking pictures. i need something to remember this by. as does he. i will get on that today i promise. well, the losing ten pounds part. cause the camera adds ten pounds. in that case maybe i need to lose twenty ....
ick. fat. grrr.
he loves me like this though. no worries. he is always saying that. and i wish i didn't have any. and i wish he didn't have any. but i know he worrys about IBM and how its going to be. and whether or not he'll get burned out. i wonder if he thinks about what i wonder???
cannot read minds. *sigh*
too bad. i am skipping class right now. cse sucks my dick that i don't have. boring and pointless, however, required for graduation. such is life. but i gots to run. its accounting time, and i cannot bullshit my way through that class.
more later on the subject. i wanted to write about the party he had, but all i really cared about was the part where he introduced me as his girlfriend. and how we ended up locking ourselves in his room and just giggling for 4 hours. v. unsociable. but i love that about him. we could dig through poop and it would be fun. he even makes laundry fun.
wow. i've got it bad. real bad!!