(no subject)
Quater 1 - Week 9:
Where do i start with you? You have been a one hell of a journey.
Ive met so many people, done so many things and accomplished so much.
Ive struggling with an inner battle. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I love Savannah and wouldnt change a thing here for the world, but im getting restless in my own skin. I sit everyday and watch my roommate and her boyfriend cuddle and kanoodle all day and finally today it hit me, "why have i let all those things pass me by?" Its really been sitting on my chest all day. Ive been slighty discomforted with a weird smirk and a weird posture. I want to talk but have this feeling that, 'I've said this before'......'this is dumb'......'i know i know i know'. Not really putting myself in the mood to get it off my chest. I need change. im getitng too settled. I need more faces. Yet, less close ones.
Katie has made herself my mainsqueeze over these past few weeks. Nothing can stand up to her at the moment. My comfort level with her has grown to unbelievable heights. Im starting to see myself letting other relatinoships fizzle. frustration with constant company is beginning to wear on me. I need the change of fresh faces. Or im going to get cranky. haha. theres no point in allowing myself to get worked up over simple shit. Im just ready to return home.
Well, im ready, i think.
I was so prepared a couple of weeks ago about my plans of returning home. Who i was going to jump on first of ignore and call and everything. But over the past 2 weeks or so, my plans have changed. I kinda am coming home with no game plan. Im not going to lie, im scared shitless of Friday. Well, winter break in general. Im not going to lie, McCrae has really thrown me for a curve ball. Im going home not knowing where i stand for alot of people. I fear what im going to do and how it will affect others. I want to go home and bury myself in a hole with a select group of people for 7 weeks. I need to find someone new when i retunr home, i know it sounds stupid. But i need to find that new face there also.
I need to find that someone to make me feel warm inside. Its been a couple of months since someone has made me feel like that. Ive yet to find someone who has. there are about 2-3 people in the world who can do that. Both want me to spend excessive time with them when i return. Its going to suck. Im coming from a relationship desert and moving to land of temptation and frustration, i dont know which is better.
I dont want to make stupid decisions when i get home. I just want to be happy. Hopefully i can allow that for myself.
i feel the summer manifesting its self in 10 fold.
Where do i start with you? You have been a one hell of a journey.
Ive met so many people, done so many things and accomplished so much.
Ive struggling with an inner battle. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I love Savannah and wouldnt change a thing here for the world, but im getting restless in my own skin. I sit everyday and watch my roommate and her boyfriend cuddle and kanoodle all day and finally today it hit me, "why have i let all those things pass me by?" Its really been sitting on my chest all day. Ive been slighty discomforted with a weird smirk and a weird posture. I want to talk but have this feeling that, 'I've said this before'......'this is dumb'......'i know i know i know'. Not really putting myself in the mood to get it off my chest. I need change. im getitng too settled. I need more faces. Yet, less close ones.
Katie has made herself my mainsqueeze over these past few weeks. Nothing can stand up to her at the moment. My comfort level with her has grown to unbelievable heights. Im starting to see myself letting other relatinoships fizzle. frustration with constant company is beginning to wear on me. I need the change of fresh faces. Or im going to get cranky. haha. theres no point in allowing myself to get worked up over simple shit. Im just ready to return home.
Well, im ready, i think.
I was so prepared a couple of weeks ago about my plans of returning home. Who i was going to jump on first of ignore and call and everything. But over the past 2 weeks or so, my plans have changed. I kinda am coming home with no game plan. Im not going to lie, im scared shitless of Friday. Well, winter break in general. Im not going to lie, McCrae has really thrown me for a curve ball. Im going home not knowing where i stand for alot of people. I fear what im going to do and how it will affect others. I want to go home and bury myself in a hole with a select group of people for 7 weeks. I need to find someone new when i retunr home, i know it sounds stupid. But i need to find that new face there also.
I need to find that someone to make me feel warm inside. Its been a couple of months since someone has made me feel like that. Ive yet to find someone who has. there are about 2-3 people in the world who can do that. Both want me to spend excessive time with them when i return. Its going to suck. Im coming from a relationship desert and moving to land of temptation and frustration, i dont know which is better.
I dont want to make stupid decisions when i get home. I just want to be happy. Hopefully i can allow that for myself.
i feel the summer manifesting its self in 10 fold.