FF: Dear Diaries Series 4/?
Yes it is an update. *g*
I know it has been a while, but RL *sigh*
Title: Dear Diary Series 4/?
Author: ran_aya
Date Written: 02/13/06
Rating: PG-13
Characters: JJ; Dee ( no pairings, sorry) -_^
Warnings: JJ may be a bit OOC, but I hope in the end I will have the hyper JJ we all love.
Spoilers: none so far
Disclaimer: Not mine, all the wonderfull guys belong to Sanami Matoh. *wails*
Notes: Let's pretend that this is not a story but JJ's diary which has somehow found its way to this journal. It starts with his first day at the police academy. I still don't know when it will end, but who knows. *shrugs*
Happy reading! ^_^
Dear Diary... 4/?
Monday 10/14/19…
Today I had my second session with the academy psychologist.
The first one was more a get to know each other than an actual session… you know all that paper stuff and tests. I still don’t know what he thinks about my interpretation of those ink dots they call Rorschach test. *snort* As if it does matter if you see a face or a vase in those dots.
Today was… let’s say… tough.
I didn’t expect the doc coming to the point that fast, but he did.
Doc Albernathy pocked and prodded me this time about my childhood. I don’t know what he wants to find there.
As far as I remember I had a great time back then. No, my parents didn’t spoil me rotten, no way… I had my chores like all of us. I got grounded when I made a mistake and got a reward when I brought home very good grades. Nothing there to find.
When I asked the doc what he did think he would find in my memories he watched me for some moment and asked back, what I think he would find.
To be honest, this question caught me off guard and I think for some minutes I just sat there and gapped at him like a fish on dry land.
He knew….. I don`t know how…. But he knew.
Well, he told me to think about it and that we would talk about it in the next session. Then the results of the tests would be back and we would talk about them too.
I don’t know why this worries me a so much. Maybe I am afraid that they decide that I am in the wrong place and that police work is nothing for me.
Lost in thoughts I went back to my dorm when I again ran into Dee… seems like it is becoming a habit. He immediately sensed that there was something bothering me and asked if I wanted to join him for a coffee. Needing to get my head clear I agreed and a few minutes later we sat in this small café across the street both of us hugging a mug of coffee.
Dee just sat there and waited, he did not say a word, he didn`t ask a thing. I was thankful for that because I was not ready to talk.
The silence was not awkward, it felt right.
I don`t know how long it took for me to finally start to talk, but when I did, it was like opening floodgates.
Dee just listened when I started to spill all the things on my mind, all the insecurities and fears, all of the things I one day have to tell Dr. Albernathy. It was kind of relieving to let everything out of my system. It had boiled and later festered there until it nearly choked me.
I didn’t notice that at one point of my tale I had started to cry until Dee handed me a tissue.
Oh god, I am such an emotional wreck, never before has someone seen so much of my inner self than Dee now.
God, I really hope that it was no mistake to tell him all this stuff. It would bee too embarrassing seeing him laughing about me. I don’t want to go through this again.
There was too much humiliation in my past life, I don’t need more of it.
But somehow I know that Dee would never do that to me or anybody else.
I think he had his own load of memories to deal with and I feel very bad to add my sorrows to his but he just hugged me and said that this is what friends are for. He also said that my past is exactly that… the past… and it should rest where it is and that I should look forward to the future.
He meant that I should not forget about it but draw strength from it. The past is what shapes us but the future is something we build no matter what we have done or what had been done to us.
In a little corner of my mind I know he is right but it is hard to break old habits.
When we left the café I felt better than I had in years and I told him so.
He just smiled at me and said if I need it again, I always know where to find him.
I never met someone like him before and I doubt that I will ever meet someone like him again.
He is one of a kind.
I know it has been a while, but RL *sigh*
Title: Dear Diary Series 4/?
Author: ran_aya
Date Written: 02/13/06
Rating: PG-13
Characters: JJ; Dee ( no pairings, sorry) -_^
Warnings: JJ may be a bit OOC, but I hope in the end I will have the hyper JJ we all love.
Spoilers: none so far
Disclaimer: Not mine, all the wonderfull guys belong to Sanami Matoh. *wails*
Notes: Let's pretend that this is not a story but JJ's diary which has somehow found its way to this journal. It starts with his first day at the police academy. I still don't know when it will end, but who knows. *shrugs*
Happy reading! ^_^
Dear Diary... 4/?
Monday 10/14/19…
Today I had my second session with the academy psychologist.
The first one was more a get to know each other than an actual session… you know all that paper stuff and tests. I still don’t know what he thinks about my interpretation of those ink dots they call Rorschach test. *snort* As if it does matter if you see a face or a vase in those dots.
Today was… let’s say… tough.
I didn’t expect the doc coming to the point that fast, but he did.
Doc Albernathy pocked and prodded me this time about my childhood. I don’t know what he wants to find there.
As far as I remember I had a great time back then. No, my parents didn’t spoil me rotten, no way… I had my chores like all of us. I got grounded when I made a mistake and got a reward when I brought home very good grades. Nothing there to find.
When I asked the doc what he did think he would find in my memories he watched me for some moment and asked back, what I think he would find.
To be honest, this question caught me off guard and I think for some minutes I just sat there and gapped at him like a fish on dry land.
He knew….. I don`t know how…. But he knew.
Well, he told me to think about it and that we would talk about it in the next session. Then the results of the tests would be back and we would talk about them too.
I don’t know why this worries me a so much. Maybe I am afraid that they decide that I am in the wrong place and that police work is nothing for me.
Lost in thoughts I went back to my dorm when I again ran into Dee… seems like it is becoming a habit. He immediately sensed that there was something bothering me and asked if I wanted to join him for a coffee. Needing to get my head clear I agreed and a few minutes later we sat in this small café across the street both of us hugging a mug of coffee.
Dee just sat there and waited, he did not say a word, he didn`t ask a thing. I was thankful for that because I was not ready to talk.
The silence was not awkward, it felt right.
I don`t know how long it took for me to finally start to talk, but when I did, it was like opening floodgates.
Dee just listened when I started to spill all the things on my mind, all the insecurities and fears, all of the things I one day have to tell Dr. Albernathy. It was kind of relieving to let everything out of my system. It had boiled and later festered there until it nearly choked me.
I didn’t notice that at one point of my tale I had started to cry until Dee handed me a tissue.
Oh god, I am such an emotional wreck, never before has someone seen so much of my inner self than Dee now.
God, I really hope that it was no mistake to tell him all this stuff. It would bee too embarrassing seeing him laughing about me. I don’t want to go through this again.
There was too much humiliation in my past life, I don’t need more of it.
But somehow I know that Dee would never do that to me or anybody else.
I think he had his own load of memories to deal with and I feel very bad to add my sorrows to his but he just hugged me and said that this is what friends are for. He also said that my past is exactly that… the past… and it should rest where it is and that I should look forward to the future.
He meant that I should not forget about it but draw strength from it. The past is what shapes us but the future is something we build no matter what we have done or what had been done to us.
In a little corner of my mind I know he is right but it is hard to break old habits.
When we left the café I felt better than I had in years and I told him so.
He just smiled at me and said if I need it again, I always know where to find him.
I never met someone like him before and I doubt that I will ever meet someone like him again.
He is one of a kind.