Another day
Something is deeply painful, something is terribly wrong, a knife has been shoved deep in the core of his soul. his pain was so intense that he went numb... all of this for just one kiss!
He seemed right, looked right... but what's gone so wrong! is that it, what I've dreamed of and waited for months! all these encounters, messages and opinions finally evaporate, break on the rock of reality.
Another hungry attack for the man lying naked on the bed with him confirmed his despaired thoughts; he isn't the kissing type, he isn't your man.
Few more moments passed in the awful darkness and nothing changed the man still didn't make any movement and just lay on his back waiting for him to do all the work, the only movement he made was turning his head briskly from side to the other every time he tries to approach his lips offering him the side of his neck: the salty dirty piece of skin the figure of a man used as a pretext to turning away from the true beauty.
His mind was already in another world when the stout man's body finally moved to crush his thin form under him just like his hopes have been crushed one moment ago. he was dreaming of another man and another world. a world without so much ignorance where he could have a chance in a decent life.
Spit was the only lube his host had for the night and he thanked destinies for the mere fact of his instinct which alarmed him to take a pair of condoms just in case the typical trick of "Oh sorry, I forgot to get some yesterday... don't worry, I am all free" was played on him.
Then the torture began!
For instance he thought that the inner pain of his soul surfaced on his physique and it was true: No force on earth could make him relax or enjoy an act he once considered one of the greatest pleasures in life.
Screams formed deep in his viscera and deep groans of agony were let out, groans that the monster misinterpreted as a sign of pleasure, of encouragement! Who would blame him anyway, how would he know how to satisfy a man with such a nature or mentality while all men and surely women he knew were of his own world.
A change of posture did no help for the pain for no drug on earth can heal a heart when it's just been broken and his screams were even louder.... the monster didn't stop...
How long will it take anyway, his mind wondered amid his groans which now turned to screams ... a minute more or two before his subconscious guilt forces his brain to eject his poison and empty his desire.
Perhaps another 5 minutes passed before he was spared from the sentence, a beastly desire was drained out inside a latex prison but not without contaminating his soul with its pure evilness.
The stout figure slept besides him silently.
"Ask the question!?" his brain commanded, he had to know. His punishment won't be complete until he knows the whole painful truth.
"Why didn't you get married?" he whispered in exhausted tone
"My wedding is next month!" was all the stout man said before heading for the shower, leaving him alone in the darkness, speechless!
"In a sane society, a man like you would have never dreamed of touching the half-likes of me. in a sane society there would be other ways than a fake welcoming smile on a web-cam or a stupid picture in a stupid so-called dating online service, there wouldn't be few words that you paste in your page without even reading them and for sure, there won't be lies about weddings in the next month.
He got up, took a fast shower and left in few minutes... No desire was left in him though it was never drained, but that was his least concern now. He won't be having sexual fantasies for another year, not that he wanted to live that far to discover!
"Where are you, My love? Where is your world? Show me the way to go, the pass to cross and the time to be there for you? How do you look like so that I can identify you?" he called amid better tears in the closed room when he went back home.
He couldn't cry himself to sleep that night; it was too late and he was sleepy even before he cried the first five minutes.
Then the usual dream came.... his favorite part of the day finally was there.
A figure of a man in light came closer, kissed his forehead and said in gently voice,"There now... Don't worry, everything will be just ok. Just live another day until we meet."
"Yes, I will live another day" He whispered in his sleep!
He seemed right, looked right... but what's gone so wrong! is that it, what I've dreamed of and waited for months! all these encounters, messages and opinions finally evaporate, break on the rock of reality.
Another hungry attack for the man lying naked on the bed with him confirmed his despaired thoughts; he isn't the kissing type, he isn't your man.
Few more moments passed in the awful darkness and nothing changed the man still didn't make any movement and just lay on his back waiting for him to do all the work, the only movement he made was turning his head briskly from side to the other every time he tries to approach his lips offering him the side of his neck: the salty dirty piece of skin the figure of a man used as a pretext to turning away from the true beauty.
His mind was already in another world when the stout man's body finally moved to crush his thin form under him just like his hopes have been crushed one moment ago. he was dreaming of another man and another world. a world without so much ignorance where he could have a chance in a decent life.
Spit was the only lube his host had for the night and he thanked destinies for the mere fact of his instinct which alarmed him to take a pair of condoms just in case the typical trick of "Oh sorry, I forgot to get some yesterday... don't worry, I am all free" was played on him.
Then the torture began!
For instance he thought that the inner pain of his soul surfaced on his physique and it was true: No force on earth could make him relax or enjoy an act he once considered one of the greatest pleasures in life.
Screams formed deep in his viscera and deep groans of agony were let out, groans that the monster misinterpreted as a sign of pleasure, of encouragement! Who would blame him anyway, how would he know how to satisfy a man with such a nature or mentality while all men and surely women he knew were of his own world.
A change of posture did no help for the pain for no drug on earth can heal a heart when it's just been broken and his screams were even louder.... the monster didn't stop...
How long will it take anyway, his mind wondered amid his groans which now turned to screams ... a minute more or two before his subconscious guilt forces his brain to eject his poison and empty his desire.
Perhaps another 5 minutes passed before he was spared from the sentence, a beastly desire was drained out inside a latex prison but not without contaminating his soul with its pure evilness.
The stout figure slept besides him silently.
"Ask the question!?" his brain commanded, he had to know. His punishment won't be complete until he knows the whole painful truth.
"Why didn't you get married?" he whispered in exhausted tone
"My wedding is next month!" was all the stout man said before heading for the shower, leaving him alone in the darkness, speechless!
"In a sane society, a man like you would have never dreamed of touching the half-likes of me. in a sane society there would be other ways than a fake welcoming smile on a web-cam or a stupid picture in a stupid so-called dating online service, there wouldn't be few words that you paste in your page without even reading them and for sure, there won't be lies about weddings in the next month.
He got up, took a fast shower and left in few minutes... No desire was left in him though it was never drained, but that was his least concern now. He won't be having sexual fantasies for another year, not that he wanted to live that far to discover!
"Where are you, My love? Where is your world? Show me the way to go, the pass to cross and the time to be there for you? How do you look like so that I can identify you?" he called amid better tears in the closed room when he went back home.
He couldn't cry himself to sleep that night; it was too late and he was sleepy even before he cried the first five minutes.
Then the usual dream came.... his favorite part of the day finally was there.
A figure of a man in light came closer, kissed his forehead and said in gently voice,"There now... Don't worry, everything will be just ok. Just live another day until we meet."
"Yes, I will live another day" He whispered in his sleep!