An Update of Sorts
I’m unhappy now, and I have been so for the past few days. I feel like I’ve been unhappy many times so far in this semester and I think that I can describe how that is. I know that I am less interesting when I am unhappy, as my comments are invariably colored by severe self-pity and fatalism. Indeed, I’m pretty sure most of the good things about
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i found my peace in believing in God...but i won't go any farther with that, because generally people who don't believe, don't ever want to hear about it...
but i will say this, ever since i finished high school...you might remember my entries throughout highschool about how i was almost always depressed...and it was usually over some girl...and how even track was only a temporary solution to my depression...anyway when i finished with high school, i realized a lot of things about myself...
i was never satisfied with who i was...but then i realized that if i was someone else i would be friends with people that don't mean a whole lot to me...the people i would consider my best friends weren't found through me being someone else...they were found with me...if i found these kind of people on my own, being myself...then maybe i'm not so bad after all...
i don't know, i'm trying to find what triggered my way of staying happy or at least content even in the hardest times...it's just the experiences that shape us i guess...i mean, you just gotta get out there and bring yourself out of a comfort zone...while other times, you have to sit back and relax and realize that, hey life isn't so bad...because you're waiting for that future moment...sometimes it's questionable as to whether it's better to keeping desiring or to finally achieve that desire...
well ok so i said i wouldn't mention God...it's hard for me not to at this point because it's such an integral part of my happiness...the beauty of it is you can just leave all your worries to Him...your future is in His hands...He made you a certain way for a certain purpose...and that it's nothing you ever have to worry about...and all that i really need to do, is love others as He loves me...and love myself because this is the way i was made, and to take myself as far as i can doing whatever i can with what i have, which right now is this startup company some yale guys are doing and take myself far in track, because that's what's been given me, so i'll enjoy the challenge and grow...
it's all about how you view yourself...everyone can think what they want...but you've always been an individual andy...doesn't seem like you've ever let other people's opinions change you...you form your own thoughts about yourself...so what's wrong with forming a positive new outlook on yourself? tear away the old one...that would require work and hurt...but something new will be born from your old self...and how do you do something like that? well...you know that no one can really answer that...but it always feels nice to know that you can depend on someone you help you through hard times right? so even if you don't believe in God...it doesn't mean you can't ask Him for help...all you have to do is ask to know Him...and it can start from there...but yeah i think this is all i will say for now...it's victor by the way if you didn't know that already...
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