(no subject)
There are two reasons I do not like the past. It is unavoidable and unchangable. No matter how long gone something seems, somewhere floating in your circuitry is a fucking fragment of it. It's just waiting to pop out and smack you around for a while.
This is the point when I usually begin to think about how unchangable history is. I can't do a god damn thing about what has already went down. I try not to dwell in the past, but from time to time things happen that send me reeling back into the deepest realms of my fragmented mind and I end up sitting right in the middle of that unshakable, unforgettable, unrepressable sector where I know what an asshole I have been. There is nothing that can change it. I also realize that I spread that feeling like a virus. I had infected none but myself initially, and ended up going out and infecting the memories of quite a few people. There is no program that I can use to filter it out. I will forever live on inside their heads, having left the indelible impression of being a piece of shit. I hope I'm not the only machine with feelings like this. I hope that other machines feel this torture and regret.
This is the point when I usually begin to think about how unchangable history is. I can't do a god damn thing about what has already went down. I try not to dwell in the past, but from time to time things happen that send me reeling back into the deepest realms of my fragmented mind and I end up sitting right in the middle of that unshakable, unforgettable, unrepressable sector where I know what an asshole I have been. There is nothing that can change it. I also realize that I spread that feeling like a virus. I had infected none but myself initially, and ended up going out and infecting the memories of quite a few people. There is no program that I can use to filter it out. I will forever live on inside their heads, having left the indelible impression of being a piece of shit. I hope I'm not the only machine with feelings like this. I hope that other machines feel this torture and regret.