The Gratuitous Vampire AU - Part 2

[rallamajoop]

Did I say this was going to be four parts? Obviously when you all thought I said four what I actually meant was five. >.>

Title: Sign of the Cross (a.k.a. the Completely Gratuitous Guilty Gear Vampire AU)
Summary: Gears or vampires, it's all just another day's work for the Holy Order. But they never do quite manage to screen some of their more

Comments

[celadonite]

Damn, poor Ky having to (attempt to) kill someone he's grown fond of. I like how you had him quickly overriding his emotions with his sense of duty yet have so much trouble seeing Sol as a monster rather than his old comrade at the same time, if that made any sense.

Some small things:

a whole nest posting as a theatre company
and throws ever volt of lightning

Looking forward to the rest of this!

[velithya]

oh, beta FAIL *facepalm*

SORRY

[celadonite]

IT'S ALRIGHT, I DO IT ALL THE TIME TOO orz

[rallamajoop]

As that's exactly the impression I wanted to get across, yes, you make perfect sense. ^_^ Ky is very much at war between what he thinks he has to do, his attachment to Sol and the nagging feeling that something here doesn't quite add up, and I'm glad I managed to get that across.

Fixed, thanks for pointing those out. Seems like there's always one or two that slip through the cracks. *cough*

[yhibiki]

Oh my! Vampires and action and CLIFFHANGER.

I wish I had more coherent things to say. But I loved it and am definitely looking forward to the next part. ♥

[yhibiki]

Oh, and... was that nest of vamps posing as a theatre troupe a reference to Anne Rice vampires?

[rallamajoop]

Well, enthusiastic incoherency isn't that bad a reaction to be getting either. *g*

Oh, and... was that nest of vamps posing as a theatre troupe a reference to Anne Rice vampires?

Yuh-huh - I was hoping people would spot that. (Is not Sol vs. a large crew of Anne Rice Angstpires a beautiful image? XD) As I mentioned in the first part, this fic contains scattered references to every piece of popular vampire fiction I could think of in a hurry - because just because I'm writing vampire cliche fic does not mean I have any obligation to take it seriously. >D

[raging_tofu]

Fantastic! Can't wait for the next part!

celadonite caught the other two I was going to mention, but here's a third:

dazed and bruised by miraculously unbroken.

[rallamajoop]

Thanks! I'm finally past the part that's had me bogged down for a good while now (at the draft stage at least), so the rest of this should be up a lot faster. *fingers crossed*

>< I remember that error, I could have sworn I fixed it. Ah well, fixed now.

[velithya]

SORRY FOR NOT CATCHING ERRORS, YOU CAN SMACK ME NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME

*embarrassed*

[rallamajoop]

If it makes you feel any better, you did flag one of the ones that has been pointed out since, and I could've sworn I'd corrected it too. *hangs head*

[janegray]

This was really worth waiting for, it's a great chapter :D

Ky is perfectly IC, it's so like him to blame himself for being anything less than being 100% perfect. His feelings and emotions are very well portrayed. Likewise, Sol's "actions speak louder than words" attitude is perfectly IC.

The cliffhanger is too cruel to us poor readers! I need to know what happens next! Do we get some description of Sol licking Ky's neck?

All those years of Order training that saw him promoted to captain before his twentieth year

This line made me wonder, is the timeline different than GG's? How old are Ky and Sol in this fic? How long have they known each other?

And while I'm wondering, can vampires in this fic eat other food besides blood? Since in the first chapter Sol mentioned something about eating something before his shift.

Did I say this was going to be four parts? Obviously when you all thought I said four what I actually meant was five. >.>

Five? Why not six or seven? ;P *is shamelessly greedy*

[rallamajoop]

Thanks! I really didn't mean to leave everyone hanging for a whole month, but am glad it was worth it. =D

Ky is perfectly IC, it's so like him to blame himself for being anything less than being 100% perfect. His feelings and emotions are very well portrayed. Likewise, Sol's "actions speak louder than words" attitude is perfectly IC.

I actually rewrote that section a couple of times before I was happy with it, and I still wasn't certain I hadn't overdone it a bit in the end. Glad the work paid off. ^_^

The cliffhanger is too cruel to us poor readers! I need to know what happens next! Do we get some description of Sol licking Ky's neck?

You should've seen what I managed to do with this fic back when I was sending in-progress snippets to my beta-reader. There are so many places this could be cut for a cliffhanger that everyone else missed out on. =P You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?

This line made me wonder, is the timeline different than GG's? How old are Ky and Sol in this fic? How long have they known each other?A bit

[velithya]

SHE CLIFFHANGERED ME ON ALMOST EVERY PARAGRAPH IT WAS TERRIBLE ;_;

Five? Why not six or seven? ;P *is shamelessly greedy*

Alas, I did my best. ;_; Maybe I can push for an epilogue or something <.

[janegray]

OMG you poor woman! DDD: *offers tea and kittens*

Do push, do push! They say you should pick quality over quantity, but I'm all for quality and quantity ;P Can you tell I'm really fond of Greed in FMA?