My life the past few months and to this day
Hi there. I have been quite occuppied for some time now it would seem. This has left me generally feeling to blah or mentally drained to bother posting or even being too social online since getting back from the vacation that was all asplodey.
I have been busy with tech work for various people, and even getting paid for some of it. I have gotten a lot accomplished on the technical front from all this. I have resurrected an old Celeron 466 for a friend of a friend. I had to fix a friend's step-mom's computer which involved complete replacement of motherboard, processor, and RAM due to the fact it was an AMD Socket 754 (earrrrrrrlllyyyy) Athlon 64 era machine with AGP, nonetheless good luck getting a S754 mobo outside of eBay :P . I've had a bunch of software fixing to do on people's older Windows XP machines due to malware mostly, either removing it or finding out it screwed up Windows so bad it had to be reloaded after being removed, gotta love how that goes sometimes. I've also had an issue with another Socket 754 mobo (PCI Express one though shockingly) where the mobo half-corrupted it's own BIOS, after days of fighting with it I tried the onboard video and saw it was a garbled mess, though with a PCIe videocard in it was fine. I tried reflashing the BIOS on a whim and sure enough that fixed it and the machine no longer was randomly saying this, that and another file were corrupt on a whim. I also built an old roommate (Jordan) a new computer which he paid me for, amazing how far $230 goes these days, got him an Athlon 64 X2 5000+, an ATi/AMD 740G based mobo (integrated graphics that has been OCed by 100MHz, and 4GB of RAM. I used his old harddrive and got him a DVD burner for $28 :P .
In other random news on the tech front I finally have a good working laptop again. The first time I sent it in was sometime after getting back from vacation when it was freaking out anytime I touched anything it would seem. Acer replaced the motherboard and sent it back, ok, so it still ended up having the same issue though less pronounced for a few days, then it was back to where I started. I got the idea of swapping keyboards with that of a friend's laptop which happens to be of the same make and model, and after doing so, issue gone, so I swapped the keyboards back and told Acer to replace the keyboard. I got it back and that worked, but then I had to notice when they had replaced the mobo they pinned the DC power in cords and it caused it to rip off the jack, causing again some issues. I manually fixed that temporarily with a soldering iron and electrical tape. Just before Yule I sent it in again detailing the need for a new DC in port, replacement on the fingerprint sensor because it was freaking out hardcore and always thinking I was swiping fingers when I wasn't :P . Also the subwoofer wasn't working, it would kick in sometimes and then die again. They also had to fix the lid closing sensor which never worked for me. Turns out the subwoofer thing was related to the audio driver so they factory reloaded the factory software on it which was kinda annoying but I wiped it and put 64-bit Home Premium back on and finally upgraded to 4GB of RAM. Needless to say it works great now.
On the more personal side I have been cracking down on my irl friends to get more time t myself and such. I have also been attending counselling for my adult fallout of the childhood sexual abuse I was put through. This means I now recognise that I in turn, kinda blindly, out of some unconcious anger/vengeance had become a bit of an abuser, mostly emotionally and such whenever I got afraid and thusly got defensive on a mental state. This was only hurting me more, thusly it was a vicious cycle. I am getting help to break this cycle and to hopefully be more open and true to myself so I can be that way in turn to others. It has been helping a fair bit I will admit. It's a bit rough realising how much that sexual and emotional abuse when I was younger, combined with my adult emotional-crash has really fucked up my life and robbed me blind when I totally didn't realise it and was desperately trying to cling on to anybody to hang on and failing and getting hated for it. I realise this was wrong, and not me, but the mask I had been forced to wear which is no longer becoming necessary. I am sorry for my role in the past in peoples lives that have garnered me title as monster, etc. I am on the path of really getting beyond this, and would like that to be respected and appreciated. The fact that we can change and grow as people, as beings is often forgotten and left in the dust and spat on. Truth is, if you turn to the right person, you can get the courage and the knowledge and the self empowerment to rise above the crap and change.
On a more hopeful note, I recently turned 25 (as of Monday, February 9th) and thusly was taken out to dinner to the Sakura Japanese restaurant for a great (and expensive) meal. The 2 days prior to Monday I was with my bio-mom who bought me some much needed new shirts and dinner. I hope this year will finally bring me some oppurtunity. I seek to actually take the A+ exams and become a truly certified computer technician. I also hope to make much further progress than I already have with healing and getting back on track with life thanks to the help I am getting now.
I have been busy with tech work for various people, and even getting paid for some of it. I have gotten a lot accomplished on the technical front from all this. I have resurrected an old Celeron 466 for a friend of a friend. I had to fix a friend's step-mom's computer which involved complete replacement of motherboard, processor, and RAM due to the fact it was an AMD Socket 754 (earrrrrrrlllyyyy) Athlon 64 era machine with AGP, nonetheless good luck getting a S754 mobo outside of eBay :P . I've had a bunch of software fixing to do on people's older Windows XP machines due to malware mostly, either removing it or finding out it screwed up Windows so bad it had to be reloaded after being removed, gotta love how that goes sometimes. I've also had an issue with another Socket 754 mobo (PCI Express one though shockingly) where the mobo half-corrupted it's own BIOS, after days of fighting with it I tried the onboard video and saw it was a garbled mess, though with a PCIe videocard in it was fine. I tried reflashing the BIOS on a whim and sure enough that fixed it and the machine no longer was randomly saying this, that and another file were corrupt on a whim. I also built an old roommate (Jordan) a new computer which he paid me for, amazing how far $230 goes these days, got him an Athlon 64 X2 5000+, an ATi/AMD 740G based mobo (integrated graphics that has been OCed by 100MHz, and 4GB of RAM. I used his old harddrive and got him a DVD burner for $28 :P .
In other random news on the tech front I finally have a good working laptop again. The first time I sent it in was sometime after getting back from vacation when it was freaking out anytime I touched anything it would seem. Acer replaced the motherboard and sent it back, ok, so it still ended up having the same issue though less pronounced for a few days, then it was back to where I started. I got the idea of swapping keyboards with that of a friend's laptop which happens to be of the same make and model, and after doing so, issue gone, so I swapped the keyboards back and told Acer to replace the keyboard. I got it back and that worked, but then I had to notice when they had replaced the mobo they pinned the DC power in cords and it caused it to rip off the jack, causing again some issues. I manually fixed that temporarily with a soldering iron and electrical tape. Just before Yule I sent it in again detailing the need for a new DC in port, replacement on the fingerprint sensor because it was freaking out hardcore and always thinking I was swiping fingers when I wasn't :P . Also the subwoofer wasn't working, it would kick in sometimes and then die again. They also had to fix the lid closing sensor which never worked for me. Turns out the subwoofer thing was related to the audio driver so they factory reloaded the factory software on it which was kinda annoying but I wiped it and put 64-bit Home Premium back on and finally upgraded to 4GB of RAM. Needless to say it works great now.
On the more personal side I have been cracking down on my irl friends to get more time t myself and such. I have also been attending counselling for my adult fallout of the childhood sexual abuse I was put through. This means I now recognise that I in turn, kinda blindly, out of some unconcious anger/vengeance had become a bit of an abuser, mostly emotionally and such whenever I got afraid and thusly got defensive on a mental state. This was only hurting me more, thusly it was a vicious cycle. I am getting help to break this cycle and to hopefully be more open and true to myself so I can be that way in turn to others. It has been helping a fair bit I will admit. It's a bit rough realising how much that sexual and emotional abuse when I was younger, combined with my adult emotional-crash has really fucked up my life and robbed me blind when I totally didn't realise it and was desperately trying to cling on to anybody to hang on and failing and getting hated for it. I realise this was wrong, and not me, but the mask I had been forced to wear which is no longer becoming necessary. I am sorry for my role in the past in peoples lives that have garnered me title as monster, etc. I am on the path of really getting beyond this, and would like that to be respected and appreciated. The fact that we can change and grow as people, as beings is often forgotten and left in the dust and spat on. Truth is, if you turn to the right person, you can get the courage and the knowledge and the self empowerment to rise above the crap and change.
On a more hopeful note, I recently turned 25 (as of Monday, February 9th) and thusly was taken out to dinner to the Sakura Japanese restaurant for a great (and expensive) meal. The 2 days prior to Monday I was with my bio-mom who bought me some much needed new shirts and dinner. I hope this year will finally bring me some oppurtunity. I seek to actually take the A+ exams and become a truly certified computer technician. I also hope to make much further progress than I already have with healing and getting back on track with life thanks to the help I am getting now.