RyoDa - Here without you [one-shot]
Title: Here without you.
Pairing: Nishikido Ryo/Ueda Tatsuya a.k.a RyoDa
Genre: Angst.
Disclaimer: I’m no way to be associated with the hot, sexy, multi-talented boys for I’m only a normal fan girl who can’t stop wishing and dreaming that they’re mine. Happy now? *sobs*
Summary: He is always there for him. He’ll always be, even without him.
AN: Too short for a one-shot and too long for a drabble. I always write this kind of fic. A gift for all Ryoda shippers in twitter. A see-you-again gift for I'll be furthering my studies this 23rd.
The news had spread wide, wider than the distance that had been growing between them.
It took only a few weeks- or perhaps days, a few nods here and there, a small level of stress and yes, a few breaks in the bond they have for the news to be confirmed.
Jin Akanishi was finally pursuing his solo career.
And Ueda Tatsuya couldn’t stop himself from drowning in the pain of the group breaking up.
He was mad at himself for not being able to stop him.
He was angry at himself for letting him go.
He was irritated by the fact that he was the one being all drama queen instead of his best friend Kamenashi, who is the one supposed to be the one screaming all around.
But then, here he was, fuming over the harsh truth.
And there Kamenashi was, sitting across the table, all silent. He had a face drawn with unexplainable emotions.
A face saying to let him go, let him chase his dream.
PLANG!
A metal plate met the green-tiled diner floor.
He dashed out of the diner leaving his band mates to take responsibility over his immature acts.
*
Nishikido Ryo was a loner.
A loner who frequent this type of members-only club with secretive bartenders and hostesses.
He tried to find the ease that his heart was yearning for only to have the source of the storm in his heart right back in front of him.
Sat just a few meters away, a young man in his twenties but still older than him by one year, a jyannis and right now, a drunken person who’s not sober enough to know that he was in public place.
“How long has he been here?” He whispered towards the lovely hostess besides him.
“Quite long. A few hours before you were here, N-san.” She answered seductively.
“Do you mind?” He gestured for her to move aside so he could go to him.
She sighed and slowly backing off. There goes another customer, she mumbled.
The idol walked gloriously across the club, straight towards the said young man and apologized.
Soon, both of them were nowhere to be found.
*
The dirty sound of vomiting echoed inside the spacious bathroom. Nishikido Ryo couldn’t bear to look, afraid of the fact that he would join in the group.
Few seconds later all of the sounds stopped, just as fast as how it started.
Nishikido Ryo looked over his shoulder.
A spent Ueda Tatsuya was lying flat on his bathroom floor. Fortunately the tiles were dry.
He sighed; knowing perfectly what he should do.
*
His eyes blinked painfully when the sudden impact of hangover stomped inside his head.
Ouch, he groaned.
He wanted to get up, rise and shine, as normal people would have said it.
But he didn’t.
Cause he knew that it’s still dark or so he thought.
Instead he just immersed himself deeper inside the black sheet, snuggled closer the fluffy white comforter, and buried his head into the pillow, knowing perfectly in his dizzy mind that the bed wasn’t his.
And he didn’t feel guilty about it.
He knew to whom it belongs to.
He always knew.
*
Ueda Tatsuya stretched his body, pretty much like a Cheshire cat. He looked to his left, where a nightstand situated. A small rectangle stainless steel tray was on top of it.
Inside were two glasses of milk and water respectively, a small cylinder plastic case- almost like the closure of a plastic bottle- filled with a small number of pills; less than five and a plate of toast.
Cold buttered toasts.
He took the pills, and shoved them down his throat with the glass of water in one shot. He didn’t want the bitter taste of the drugs tainting his mouth and made him vomit again. He wanted to know the time, his subconscious mind did.
The digital alarm clock on the nightstand said it was already 11. In the morning perhaps.
Ueda Tatsuya wasn’t sure.
It was the dark thick curtains blocking all the necessary lights that made him doubt. The only light available was from the bed lamp on the nightstand.
He couldn’t care less anyway.
He never did.
*
Somewhere inside the big bedroom, Nishikido Ryo was watching him.
He knew, but he ignored him.
He didn’t want to be babbled when the headache was attacking his brain like there’s no tomorrow.
A certain Nishikido Ryo always did.
You’re wasted, Nishikido Ryo said.
Mind your own business, he replied in a harsh tone.
Silence reigned.
You’re my business, the two group idol answered in a low tone.
Just leave me alone! He screamed. A few drops of tears rolled down his cheek.
Fine, just remember that, Ryo never get to finish his words as the other occupant of the room started throwing things at him.
He left.
Bringing along his guitar.
*
I’m here.
I love you.
I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you.
If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it- I will love you through that, as well.
If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too.
There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love.
I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you.
I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.
“I love you more than I love myself, Ueda Tatsuya.” Nishikido Ryo placed his guitar down and lit up a cigarette.
He’ll patiently wait for he will still be there, he definitely will.
Even without him.
Pairing: Nishikido Ryo/Ueda Tatsuya a.k.a RyoDa
Genre: Angst.
Disclaimer: I’m no way to be associated with the hot, sexy, multi-talented boys for I’m only a normal fan girl who can’t stop wishing and dreaming that they’re mine. Happy now? *sobs*
Summary: He is always there for him. He’ll always be, even without him.
AN: Too short for a one-shot and too long for a drabble. I always write this kind of fic. A gift for all Ryoda shippers in twitter. A see-you-again gift for I'll be furthering my studies this 23rd.
The news had spread wide, wider than the distance that had been growing between them.
It took only a few weeks- or perhaps days, a few nods here and there, a small level of stress and yes, a few breaks in the bond they have for the news to be confirmed.
Jin Akanishi was finally pursuing his solo career.
And Ueda Tatsuya couldn’t stop himself from drowning in the pain of the group breaking up.
He was mad at himself for not being able to stop him.
He was angry at himself for letting him go.
He was irritated by the fact that he was the one being all drama queen instead of his best friend Kamenashi, who is the one supposed to be the one screaming all around.
But then, here he was, fuming over the harsh truth.
And there Kamenashi was, sitting across the table, all silent. He had a face drawn with unexplainable emotions.
A face saying to let him go, let him chase his dream.
PLANG!
A metal plate met the green-tiled diner floor.
He dashed out of the diner leaving his band mates to take responsibility over his immature acts.
*
Nishikido Ryo was a loner.
A loner who frequent this type of members-only club with secretive bartenders and hostesses.
He tried to find the ease that his heart was yearning for only to have the source of the storm in his heart right back in front of him.
Sat just a few meters away, a young man in his twenties but still older than him by one year, a jyannis and right now, a drunken person who’s not sober enough to know that he was in public place.
“How long has he been here?” He whispered towards the lovely hostess besides him.
“Quite long. A few hours before you were here, N-san.” She answered seductively.
“Do you mind?” He gestured for her to move aside so he could go to him.
She sighed and slowly backing off. There goes another customer, she mumbled.
The idol walked gloriously across the club, straight towards the said young man and apologized.
Soon, both of them were nowhere to be found.
*
The dirty sound of vomiting echoed inside the spacious bathroom. Nishikido Ryo couldn’t bear to look, afraid of the fact that he would join in the group.
Few seconds later all of the sounds stopped, just as fast as how it started.
Nishikido Ryo looked over his shoulder.
A spent Ueda Tatsuya was lying flat on his bathroom floor. Fortunately the tiles were dry.
He sighed; knowing perfectly what he should do.
*
His eyes blinked painfully when the sudden impact of hangover stomped inside his head.
Ouch, he groaned.
He wanted to get up, rise and shine, as normal people would have said it.
But he didn’t.
Cause he knew that it’s still dark or so he thought.
Instead he just immersed himself deeper inside the black sheet, snuggled closer the fluffy white comforter, and buried his head into the pillow, knowing perfectly in his dizzy mind that the bed wasn’t his.
And he didn’t feel guilty about it.
He knew to whom it belongs to.
He always knew.
*
Ueda Tatsuya stretched his body, pretty much like a Cheshire cat. He looked to his left, where a nightstand situated. A small rectangle stainless steel tray was on top of it.
Inside were two glasses of milk and water respectively, a small cylinder plastic case- almost like the closure of a plastic bottle- filled with a small number of pills; less than five and a plate of toast.
Cold buttered toasts.
He took the pills, and shoved them down his throat with the glass of water in one shot. He didn’t want the bitter taste of the drugs tainting his mouth and made him vomit again. He wanted to know the time, his subconscious mind did.
The digital alarm clock on the nightstand said it was already 11. In the morning perhaps.
Ueda Tatsuya wasn’t sure.
It was the dark thick curtains blocking all the necessary lights that made him doubt. The only light available was from the bed lamp on the nightstand.
He couldn’t care less anyway.
He never did.
*
Somewhere inside the big bedroom, Nishikido Ryo was watching him.
He knew, but he ignored him.
He didn’t want to be babbled when the headache was attacking his brain like there’s no tomorrow.
A certain Nishikido Ryo always did.
You’re wasted, Nishikido Ryo said.
Mind your own business, he replied in a harsh tone.
Silence reigned.
You’re my business, the two group idol answered in a low tone.
Just leave me alone! He screamed. A few drops of tears rolled down his cheek.
Fine, just remember that, Ryo never get to finish his words as the other occupant of the room started throwing things at him.
He left.
Bringing along his guitar.
*
I’m here.
I love you.
I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you.
If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it- I will love you through that, as well.
If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too.
There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love.
I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you.
I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.
“I love you more than I love myself, Ueda Tatsuya.” Nishikido Ryo placed his guitar down and lit up a cigarette.
He’ll patiently wait for he will still be there, he definitely will.
Even without him.