Dad rant part 1
Isnt it funny that when a person dies all we can think about are all of the good things that they did while they were alive. We hardly ever talk about the bad things that went along with the experience that we had with them. I mean we all know that the people that we love aren’t perfect just like everyone else. Just because they are gone doesn’t make the things that they did in life any less good or bad. I know that most of you know that I lost my father last November. Ok so really anyone reading this would know that because you all know me. I love my father but to say that he was perfect would be a lie. I know that he had his faults just as I have mine. What I want to tell you is the the good the bad and the ugly about my father not just the sugar coated world that everyone else wants to believe. My father and I had our fights but we always managed to get over them and realize that half of the problem was that I was just growing up and another fourth was that I was hard headed and of course the remainder was that he too was stubborn and hard headed. In a way looking into a mirror I see my father stareing back at me and in the course of my life thus far I can honestly say that it both scares me and honors me that I would be anything like him. We had a lot in common because he was one of my best friends. We would watch movies together because of course seeing stuff blow up or seeing that really big gun get fired was a major pass time of ours. Now on that same note when that big gun got fired and we got to argueing over what caliber it was there was always that stupid zoom button on the remote which would undoubtedly show us the engravings on that casing that was just ejected from the gun and of course who was wrong, Me. Yah for those of you who know me or have at least listened to me talk its hard to imagine me being wrong about anything. Of course I got this from him in a way. He was never wrong be it about the computers that we both loved so much, the girls that I dated, or how to do that stupid repair project that mom wanted to get done, which of course was rare because she usually had me helping her while he wasn’t there to tell her how to get it done, but of course he was always right. For those of you reading this to see how many grammatical errors I make or anything of that nature you might as well stop checking because im not really caring about it. I believe that the things that come to my mind are going to spill out on this paper in no particular order and im just going to write them down and probably end up posting them on myspace for the few people that actually care to read. I listen to music, watch movies, sleep, go on with my life as if it never happened sometimes, but the thing is that most of the time doing those things just makes me miss him even more than normal. I watch some of the movies that we used to watch together or ill watch some new release that he would have loved to watch with me and ill just start crying. Of course most of you will never see that because that’s not what I do when im around people. Those of you who have seen it or I have talked to during it feel special because I only do it in front of the people that I trust with my whole life. Movies and music get me the most. Ill hear some song that I played at the showing or ill hear a song that reminds me of him or just anything really and all of a sudden im in tears. I was at a wedding reception and one of the first songs that they played was Dixie lullaby by pat green. For those of you who don’t know the song it talks about a father from the sons point of view and ends with the death of the father. Now you are probably thinking why the heck are they playing that at a wedding reception. Well to answer that question ….. im not really sure because it makes absolutely no sense. Where im going with is that even on that day I had to excuse myself from the room to go outside and cry because I couldn’t let others see me like that on such a happy day. I know that sounds weird but I think it something that all men learn from their father or grandfather or something to that effect that its not cool to see a man cry. Now im not a conventional man by any means I have said many times that its ok to cry and I still stand by that statement but on that same note I also think that there is a time and a place for it. I don’t want to be seen crying in front of a room full of strangers that will some how think less of me because they saw me crying for no good reason because they don’t know the whole story and im not really willing to explain why im doing what im doing to a room full of strangers. That would require explaining about the song and dads death and everything that the song meant to me. Well actualling it would probably require me to tell them “it reminds me of my father who passed away last September. Ive watched movies about death and it makes me miss him. Ive watched movies about assassins and it makes me miss him. Ive also watched movies about everything else and it makes me miss him that much more. It doesn’t matter what im watching it all makes me miss him. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that our two pass times together were movies and playing world of warcraft. While im touching on the subject of wow I think ill talk about it. When I first started playing with him I remember him running around with this stupid little dwarf warrior named morlan, yes morlan. He was running around in Dun Murogh helping out this little gnome warlock because I had no clue what I was doing. That’s a long way from when I was teaching him how to play Mario for the regular Nintendo. So then the story goes that I got tired of playing that toon and after some fun I turned to the wonderful mage that became my first main Boaz. So what did dad do? He made a mage too, Helotercey. Yes two mages one of them pure frost and one of them pure arcane. You know back in the day before frost and arcane were actually usefull but we really didn’t care because we had no clue what we were doing. We soon found out that we could do things as two mages that we could never accomplish as anything else that we had ever done. We did quests together for a good long while and we made it all the way to lvl 60. the long trek to level 60 who would have thought that we would ever make it to that esteemed level where most our friends were already waiting on us to get there. Dad wasn’t really into raiding and I wanted to try but by the time I got to where I could It was already a little late and the expansion came out and you know what that means? It meant that it was time to go back to the leveling. Off to the outlands and lvl 70 here we come. So by this time dad already had another like 4 toons that he was working on in the mid level 50s and all I wanted to do was play my mage still. So I leveled boaz and he leveled like four toons and kept up with me because I still had things to do outside of the game. He would play during the day and during the night and every second that he wasn’t asleep or doing the route. Boaz and Eliniak became really good at killing just about anything in the game because we just worked well together. Eliniak the level 70 hunter who could actually play. Whoa hold on a second I know did I just say that a hunter could play and I didn’t use the phrase huntard with it either weird I know. That was as far as we got together. Of course this doesn’t even come close of explaining all the adventures that we had in azeroth or the outlands by any means but it does say that we spent a lot of time together and had some good times and some bad times because well there was those few times that we tried pvp? What do alliance do during pvp? We die… a lot… so we both got frustrated and quit for the day and watched a movie not talking because we were so mad at eachother.