First & Last Love (Jalex One-Shot)
Title: First & Last Love
Pairing: Jalex (Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some swearing, brief sexual stuffs
Summary: Everyone has a first and last love, but very rarely are those the same people.
Disclaimer: I do not own Jalex, though I wish I did.
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When Alex was about seven years old he moved from Essex, England to to Baltimore, Maryland. It was a pretty significant change for a young kid. He had to leave his whole life behind. His friends, most of his family, everything that he knew and came to love. He didn't like America when he first got there. Not one bit. He thought it smelled weird and everyone has really strange accents. He swore, the same exact day that he stepped foot into his new house, that he would never like America and was sure as hell that he would never make any friends here. His mom and dad told him it was only temporary, that they can move back home. That was the day that he was looking forward too and thought about everyday.
Alex spent more of his time that wasn't in school, in his room alone. His parents asked him everyday if he ever made any friends. Of course, his answer was always no. It not that he didn't want friends, he just didn't want American friends. He wanted his friends back. He still wrote them, but over time, his relationship with them slowly diminished. Eventually he was completely alone. Was slowly starting to accept the fact his parents lied. They are never going back to England. Every year his parents said, ‘just one more year, baby’. But he knew better.
By the time Alex was 14, he just started high school. Still, no friends. The closest thing he has to a friend was a girl named Lisa. She was pretty and smart. She was his first kiss when they were thirteen. But nothing ever happened. Lisa went to a different school now. Just like all his old friends, they relationship slowly disappeared until there was nothing left to even repair. It was like nothing was ever there to begin with.
Alex walked into his last class of the day the same as he always has. His head down and not paying attention to any of his surroundings. The teacher moved his seat too the back, only about four seats over from where he was originally seated. The teacher sat another kid next to him. “Hi,” The cheery kid said sitting down. “I'm Jack.” Alex wasn't a rude person. He replied back with his name back, but he never looked up from his notebook where he was doodling random swirls. “You seem pretty into drawing just random scribbles.” the other boy pointed out. Alex just shrugged and continued what he was doing. “Do you like art?” Alex mumbled a yeah. Jack was going to say something else but the teach interrupted so he stopped.
“Okay, I want you guys to get in pairs, make in someone you do not know, and in four weeks, you will present them like a project.” Alex groaned in his seat. He hated working with people. It wasn't the people he didn't like, it was just that he always ended up doing most of the work. Why can't teachers just let them work on what they wanted for the project rather than forcing them to get to know each other when they clearly don't even want to.
“Do you wanna be my partner?” The other boy asked. Alex finally looked up and looked at Jack for the first time that class. He was instantly memorize but his black hair and blonde patches. They way it stuck out in all different directions. His had fairly large oval shaped, brown eyes. A cute smile. He was very lanky, but in a good way. Alex’s eye trailed the black haired kids body looking at his shirt for some band, that he’s never heard of, his simple black skinny jeans and converse. In general, he was like every other kid in the school, but somehow different. “So..?” Jack snapped Alex out of his thoughts.
“Sure.” He replied back and Jack scooted his desk closer to Alex's and getting out some paper. Alex didn't know why, but he felt nervous around him, where it was because he tended to get nervous easy, or because this boy was different. After a few minutes of talking to him, Alex thought Jack was annoying. No beyond that. He was irritating too. He never seemed to stop talking about some band called blink-182, but it had to have a lowercase ‘b’ because somehow that was a huge deal. Alex had never heard of them, so everything that Jack said just went in one ear and out the other. The bell rang and Alex got up quickly but Jack called his name so he couldn't leave as soon as he wanted.
“Can I get your number? So we can do this project and stuff outside of school?” Jack asked sweetly. Yeah he was annoying. But it was the cute kind of annoying. The kind you brushed off when they smiled at you. Alex never gave his number out. So this was a big thing for him. They weren't exactly friends, but maybe if he invited the lanky kid over, his parents would stop nagging him about finding a friend.
“Do you wanna come over tomorrow? Its Saturday so we can have more time to work on this and not have to actually spend four weeks on it.” Jack nodded and smiled copying his number into Alex’s phone too. Alex went home that day with an actual small smile on his face. But who ever started school on a Friday really needed to check their brains.
“Hey, baby.” Alex mom said as he walked through his front door setting his stuff on the ground and taking off his shoes. He mumbled a hey back and got a can of mtn dew before making his way into the living room. “Is that a smile I see on your face?” his mom teased making him drop the gesture. “Come on sweaty. What was that for? Did you make a friend? Meet a girl?” Alex just shook his head.
“No and no. I have a boy from class coming over tomorrow for a project. Please don't embarrass me.” His mom and dad smiled widely and his mom came up and hugged him.
“But we have too. This is your first friend to ever come over here.” His mom joked. She wouldn't really do that. Alex’s mom was fun loving liked to joke.
The next day Jack came over and they were sitting on his floor talking to each other. Jack stuck in some CD. Alex was nodding his head to the beat of the music and writing random facts about himself on a sheet of paper, which was a lot harder than you think it was. “Who is this?” he asked after maybe the fifth song.
“blink-182. Probably the best band to ever exist.” Jack cheered. Alex smiled at him and shook his head. How do people put up with this kid? “What kind of stuff do you listen too?” Jack asked laying on the floor neglecting to do anything that involved with school. Alex shrugged. “Is that all you do? Shrug?” Alex just shrugged again. “Where’s your accent?” Alex looked up with a questioning look that could probably kill someone, but Jack being Jack, he wasn't even phased by it.
“I don't know.” Alex said sitting his stuff on the floor.
“How do you just lose and accent?” Jack laughed slapping Alex’s leg.
“I was seven when I moved from England. I guess I just lost it. It comes out sometimes. But I’ve lived more than my life here. So it doesn't matter.” Alex smiled at the boy. Jack was sitting up now against the frame of Alex’s bed just staring at him. This was the first time Jack actually got a chance to look at the English kid. Small frame, cute messy brown hair, some blonde in it like him. He was cute. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. “Stop staring.” Alex blushed and hid his face with his hair.
“Sorry.” Jack mumbled. “Hey, wanna come over tomorrow and watch the Blink DVD?” Alex was confused what exactly he meant but nodded anyway. Jack stayed long enough to have pizza and leave.
The next day he went over to Jack's. He knocked on the door Jack’s mom let him walk right up to his room. When he walked in, Jack was jumping on his bed screaming random lyrics to one of the songs that they were listening too. He looked like a teenage girl singing her favorite, annoying pop song off the radio. Maybe he came at the wrong time, but he didn't wanna be rude and just leave. So he stayed there until Jack finally turned around and stopped jumping. He gave a toothy smile to Alex and invited him. He turned the music down and got off the bed.
Alex examined the room. It was a lot better than his. About the same size, but he had posters covering his walls with almost none of the white wall showing through from underneath. Most of them were of that damn band Jack had an obsession with. Some of there were actually more familiar to Alex. Like Fall Out Boy or Sum 41. Those he knew, or he know of, they heard songs on the radio. Alex sat his bag on the floor next to Jack's bed and sat on the bed next to Jack. “Ready to watch the movie?” Jack asked acting over excited about it. Alex shrugged and the lanky kid pressed play on the DVD.
“What kind of movie is this anyway?” Jack looked at him like he just killed someone.
“Its a concert DVD.” He replied being over-dramatic about the whole thing still. “I never got to see them in concert. I to hope to go in January when they come. But I probably won't be able to.” Jack sighed at the last part.
“Why would you not be able to?” Alex questioned stealing a gummy worm the Jack had on his nightstand.
“No money, no ride.” He simply said back to Alex. Alex nodded.
They sat against the wall on Jack's bed watching the movie. Everyone once in a while Alex would look over at the boy where he made a very audible laughed at some stupid prank the band played on each other. Alex really liked his laughed. It was contagious making him laugh too. He laughed more at the boy next to him than the actual movie itself. Alex felt strange though. Not a band strange, but something different. He kept staring at Jack whenever he got the chance. He didn't know what the feeling was but he hated it when he left Jack, because the feeling subsided. It was there but less. He was actually liking that boy, not in a like like way, but in a way that, hes never really had friends like that before. Crazy and outgoing, carefree and funny. He really liked it.
Throughout the week, Alex could wait to get to his last class. The creative writing class he had with Jack. The talked the whole time got in trouble a lot, mainly for talking. those feelings that Alex had were slowly getting stronger. By the fourth week, when the project was do, he could talk about Jack for hours, but he had to shorten to three minutes at most. The whole point was to introduce each other and talk about their likes and dislikes. Jack's wasn't hard. All he really cared about was blink-182 and jumping around like some nut.
Alex could have talked about how cute he was when he ate and laughed. How when he spaced out he would twirl his hair like Alex did. How his laugh was contagious and his dick joes somehow seemed to be the funniest things in the world. He could have talked about how he made Alex feel more special and accepted than anyone in the past eight years he lived in America. But he couldn't say that, he didn't wanna seem weird.
In honesty, the feelings kind of scared Alex. He never felt like that before. This was more than an, ‘I like you as a friend’ way. This was, ‘I really like-like you’ kind of feelings. The last time he felt those was when he was with Lisa. This was a change. He was never around people like that. Being really confused, he thought that it was just best to keep it a secret for now. or maybe ever.
When January came Alex decided to surprise Jack with blink-182 tickets. Let’s just say that Jack was overly excited and might have bruised Alex’s arm. Alex rarely listened to blink but when he saw them in concert for himself, he was thoroughly impressed. Alex wished he was that talented at guitar and singing. To say the least, Alex had fun with Jack. He liked seeing the younger boy jump around like an idiot and have a good time.
About two years later in their junior year, they were in Jack's room playing around with their guitars learning how to play ‘Black Cat’ by Mayday Parade. The stopped and took a break eating pizza pockets. Alex was still hiding the fact he liked his now best friend. They both dated other girls but, he never felt the same way about them as he did about Jack. When they were done eating they went outside for some air and walked around. There was a small pond by a random gazebo in the woods near their subdivision.
They always went there just to talk or if one of them had a really bad day. That would be there meeting spot. very few people knew about it, so the chances of anyone finding them was slim to almost none. Jack was going on like usual, babbling about something stupid. Even know half of what comes out of Jack's mouth gets lost in space somewhere, and yeah, he was still annoying. But Alex really loved it and couldn't get enough.
Without thinking Alex lent forward pressing his lips against Jack's making him shut up from his random babbling. Alex pulled back quickly with a shocked expression on his face. Jack just looked at him. “I-I'm sorry. I didn't me too.” Alex didn't know what to say. He could barely say anything without stuttering. “I-I just.. I'm gonna go.” Alex breathed out before running out of the gazebo and down the street, leaving a confused Jack behind him. Once he thought that he was far enough, he stopped running and slowed down. He Bent over with his hands on his knees catching his breath. He walked the rest of the way home.
Once he was there, he went straight to his room. He sat on his bed and almost instantly broke down in tears. So much emotion ran through his body he didn't know what to do. His breathing got really hard and he tried calming himself down. On the outside it was just a kiss, but inside, it was just waves of emotion. He felt like he completely fucking up his and Jack's friendship he never wanted to lose that. After a few minutes of crying, he fell asleep with puffy eyes. It was a good thing that he was alone in the house, he didn't know he he could explain to his parents that he liked a boy.
He didn't have any contact with Jack over the weekend and didn't even show up to school on Monday. He told his mom that he needed a ‘mental health day’. Since he was always good at keeping his grades up and going to school, she let him stay home while her and his dad went to work. He took a shower feeling his lips tingle everyone once in a while. He thought it was the kiss still lingering on his lips, but he knew that that was ridiculous. He got out drying of and laying back down. Another couple of hours to sleep wouldn't be so bad.
“Lex.” Alex heard a faint voice call his name. “Lex. Wake up. It’s Jack.” He eyes opened slowly at Jack's name. He blinked looking at his friend at the end of his bed. He sat up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“What are you doing here?” He asked in a groggy voice, sitting up a little.
“You weren’t at school and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jack gave him a sad look. Alex returned it.
“Sorry. I just needed… Me time I guess.” He shrugged and sat up better so he was cross-legged in front of Jack who was doing the same thing. “I'm really sorry, by the way. When I kissed you… I.. I didn't mean too. Something just came over me and-” Jack pressed his lips against Alex’s. Before he could even comprehend what happened, Jack's lips left his.
“Now we’re even.” Jack smiled and chuckled a little and so did Alex.
Everything was welling up inside Alex. All those emotions and memories. Eventually everything just spilled out. “Jack I like you.” He put his hand over his mouth and his eyes widened. This is the first time he’s ever said that out loud. Jack looked at him confused. The older sighed and moved his hand. “I like you. A lot. I’ve never felt like this about someone before. Its scaring me. I've never liked A guy and-” Jack pressed his lips to his again. This time Alex relaxing against him and kissed back.
“You should stop talking so much.” Jack chuckled, and kissed him again. “I like you, too, Alex. I have for a while. But I didn't wanna fuck up our friendship. When you kissed me the other day, I… I was shocked. I didn't think you felt the same.” Jack explain caressing Alex’s face with both hands.
“Everything feels so weird. Like, I'm not supposed to like you. You're a guy.” Alex’s bottom lip quivered slightly out of fear.
“Alex, its not wrong to like other boys.” Jack was raised in a very open household. Three of his cousins were gay and so was his uncle on his moms side. “Were you not raised that way?” Alex shook his head.
“I wasn't raised to hate gay people, but I wasn't never raised not too. We never had gay people in our family. At least not to our knowledge. I grew up going to church. They never talked about it unless they said ‘man shall not lay with other men’ but that was about it.” Alex was scared that he was breaking some kind of religious rule. He wasn't raised to hate people for who they are, but he was raised on the bible in way, but not strictly.
“Not everything in the Bible is true.” Jack said letting go of his face. “I’ve known for a long time I like boys. I just never notice how much till I met and became friends with you. If the Bible was all true, gay people would never even exist.” Alex smiled. Everything Jack was saying made sense. He nodded to the younger and brought Jack’s face back to his so he could kiss him again
“Good. Because I really like kissing you.” Alex chuckled and peck Jack's lips again before bringing him in for a hug.
Alex and Jack had been together for about two months when Alex decided to tell his parents. He had no clue what he was so afraid or. He mom wasn’t really accepting at first, did eventually come around to be accepting of their relationship. Although she was a strong believer in the Bible, she would never want her son to be unhappy like, like he was the past few years in America, and if being with Jack made Alex happy, then she would support it one hundred percent. The same with his dad, who actually accepted sooner than his mom.
On their six month anniversary Alex’s mom let them have the house to themselves the whole weekend while they took a vacation. She trusted them, had no reason not too. They mostly laid around, cuddling and watching TV. It was a couple hours before Alex’s mom was do home. They were in Alex’s room making out on his bed. Alex was on his back with his legs wrapped around Jack's waist. The younger was pushing his lower half into elders. Jack started kissing his boyfriends aw and sucking on his neck. Their hands roamed under each other shirts, soaking up the warmth from each others soft skin. They removed each other shirts, Jack moving farther down sucking on Alex’s collar bone. Alex let out small pants and moans, as he bucked his hips up to collide with Jack's.
Alex brought Jack’s mouth back to his, and kissed him. His hand slid down the others body, tucking his hands in the back of Jack's pants gropping his ass. Jack moaned in his mouth, biting down on Alex’s bottom lip. They rutted their hips faster, moaning. Their skin touched, making them both warm. Alex finally let himself go first, coming inside his boxers. A few seconds late, Jack let go too, shuddering on top of Alex. Alex took his hands out of Jack's pants and tangled them in his hair before moving to his chest pushing Jack away for a second. The smiled at each other still breathing slightly heavy. Jack lent down and kissed him before he heard the front door open and Alex’s mom call them.
They groaned, quickly changing their boxers so they wouldn't have to see his mom like that. The fixed each others almost-sex hair and kissed a last time before going downstairs. Alex’s mom wasn't looking too happy. They didn't know why. The house was clean, they didn't go anywhere. They were at a loose. “Can you boys please take a seat in the living room?” Alex’s dad, Peter, finally said. They gave questioning looks but did what they were told. Alex was bouncing his legs in anticipation, until his parents finally came out. “We have something to tell you, and… You’re probably not going to like it,” they gave them more questioning looks.
“Your father got another job offer,” his mom said, and paused for a second looking at her husband. “In England,” it didn't really dawn on Alex until his mom finished. “Your father took the job. We’re moving back in a week.” She smile sympathetically. It took Alex a second to realize what she meant by ‘we’. Alex is leaving too. Alex felt tears rush to his eyes when he looked at Jack. For the first time, Alex never wanted to leave America. The older boy ran to his room and buried his face in the pillows. He kept screaming ‘no’ into them, like somehow that was going to keep him with Jack. The first person he ever loved, was about to be stripped from him.
Jack came into Alex’s room laying next to him on the bed. He wrapped his arms around the older boy letting him burying his face in his neck. Alex let out sobs, but never really crying. He held on to Jack as tight as he could, he never wanted to let him go, he was his boyfriend, and more importantly, his best friend.
A week later, Jack and Alex were sitting on the floor in his room, leaning up against the wall. Alex has his head on Jack’s shoulder, their fingers laced together. Everything was all packed up in the moving van and ready to go, all they needed was for his mom to start their car. Both boys spent every second together all week. Jack skipped school just so they could laying together. They spent the whole time talking about how they are going to keep in contact and kissing like it was the last one they will ever have. “Boys! It’s time!” Isobel called from downstairs. Alex felt more sadness rush around inside him.
The walked downstairs and stood in the front yard. Jack wrapped his arms around Alex, and Alex wrapping his arms around Jack's torso. They held each other as tight as they could. That was Alex’s final breaking point. He finally broke down and cried into Jack shoulder. Jack was trying his best not to cry, but how could he not? This boy was everything to him and tore him up to watch him leave. They pulled back and kissed each others soft lips for the last time. Alex got in the car and look at Jack still trying to hold himself together. It was like a bad movie, as the car got farther, Jack got smaller. When Alex was out of Jack's sight, he broke. He boyfriend was gone. Walking home that day was hard with shaking legs.
Over the next few months, they called and texted, they tried Skype and writing, but none of this was ever the same as being there to hold each other and talk in person. Alex would stay up late or vice versa, just so they could talk for a little while. Girls in England hit on Alex left in right, he was a very attract person, but the only person on his mind was Jack. Everything seemed so dark and dismal in England with out Jack. Some people would say that was just the effect of the rainy country, but Alex knew that wasn’t the only reason he felt like that. He was missing the one person that really and truly made him happy. Jack was the same way. Every night he would look at the same picture of them together, and cry. Missing the warmth of the elder boy.
One day Jack finally got a hold of Alex when it was daylight for him and just barely daylight for Alex. They talked for hours before Jack brought up the worst things he’s ever had on his mind. “Babe,” he started. “I love you.” he cried into the phone. “but um… I think we need… I think we need to take a break… This whole long distance thing, I can't do it anymore.” It hurt Jack to even think about this, let alone say it.
“But..” Alex didn't know what to say. It felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest and torn apart. Jack was his only hope of being okay, and that was gone.
“I'm sorry, Alex… Just can’t do this anymore.” They said goodbye and hung up. Alex screamed and threw his phone across the room, knocking over some things in the process. His mom came in his room to make sure he was okay. She walked in the room to the crying boy curled in a ball on the floor. She picked him up and helped him to his bed. She knew why he was crying too, she knew it was only so long until they were at their breaking point. She walked over to her son, wrapping her arms around him, holding him close as she could get him. He rocked back and forth spilling his heart out to his mom about how much he loved and missed Jack. His mom just kept him close, rubbing his back and petting his hair down, telling him things will be okay, until he was finally calm again and breathing okay.
Over a few years, the pain finally started to subside. Both of them tried dating other people, but nothing was the same. They weren't the happiest people all the time but they had to make it work. Contact with each other faded into nothing at all over time, like it did the first time Alex left people behind. Alex would never forget Jack, not in a billion years, but his memories with Jack, did begin to fade, like all memories do eventually.
When Alex turned 26, he got a job offer back in his old town in Maryland, he took it for the opportunity, but he really wanted to see Jack. By the chances of Jack still living there, were slim. He rented out a small apartment in Baltimore and spent a few weeks there before he officially took the job as a talent scout. He had no sign of Jack or his old friends, it was as if they were just a dream and they never even exist.
Alex walked into a coffee shop one day on his way home from work. He was helping mix a track for a band he signed a couple week ago. He sat down at a table in the back wait for his items to be ready when he saw a familiar face walk through the door. The same black hair, but the blonde in a different spot. The stranger had that same goofy smile and lanky body. His heart melted out of his chest looking at the boy he as, “Jack,” he said breathlessly. Jack heard his name from faintly from somewhere but continued walking thinking he heard something. “Jack,” he heard it again and this time looked around. He eyes scanned the coffee shop until they landed on the other smiling at him.
“Alex?” he questioned. His smile grow and he ran up to the older body throwing his arms around him. Everyone in the coffee shop grew confused, but they knew exactly who each other were. Jack pulled back and panted his lips on Alex’s. Alex not hesitating to mold his lips with Jack’s. He missed him so much, he was surprised his heart didn't just explode right there. Jack finally took his lips off of the others and hugged Alex again, practically squeezing the life out of him. “I still love you so much.” Jack beamed to him. They were both in disbelief that it was them.
“I love you, too. I'm never leaving again.” Jack and Alex will always be each others first, and last, love.
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I hope you like it. Yeah its a pretty common Jalex story but I wanted to write it, sooooo... Tell me what you think. Thank you for reading.