(no subject)
hi. I'm going to ponder about making art and being female for a hot second.
regardless of what is happening this minute, training and history inevitably involves a lot of old world theory. it gets disheartening at times, especially learning about groundbreaking and progressive movements of the past century clinging on to the same tired old bullshit. innovations on the same pervy male gaze, awesome, high-fives around the room for everyone. all that progress and the masculine worldview is still the default. not that people aren't hard at work to change this, but this is still the canon we have of so-called GREAT TRUE WORKS OF ART and all that. it seeps into my own self-perception and I really wish it wouldn't.
personally, sincerity is something I dig. I'm not naturally drawn towards irony or whimsy or tongue-in-cheek; we already have enough smirking hipsters in this world. I get super self-conscious about it, though. whether swaddled in layers or left raw, I feel like any personal element is trifling and not worth being taken seriously, despite having critiques where I've had to grip the table to keep my hands from shaking. I feel like I'm being such a goddamn girl in my take on things, as if giving in to emotion or anything "feminine" invalidates everything I say. after all, strong women aren't supposed to buy into any of that touchy-feely crap. they only hang out with the tough smart men doing tough smart manly things. they're above all that silly girl drama.
well, I'm not above jack and shit. I am a girl, but I still wish to be taken seriously. yes, even when I use pastel colors. this is my story, this is my attempt at truth. fuck you, of course I'm serious.
regardless of what is happening this minute, training and history inevitably involves a lot of old world theory. it gets disheartening at times, especially learning about groundbreaking and progressive movements of the past century clinging on to the same tired old bullshit. innovations on the same pervy male gaze, awesome, high-fives around the room for everyone. all that progress and the masculine worldview is still the default. not that people aren't hard at work to change this, but this is still the canon we have of so-called GREAT TRUE WORKS OF ART and all that. it seeps into my own self-perception and I really wish it wouldn't.
personally, sincerity is something I dig. I'm not naturally drawn towards irony or whimsy or tongue-in-cheek; we already have enough smirking hipsters in this world. I get super self-conscious about it, though. whether swaddled in layers or left raw, I feel like any personal element is trifling and not worth being taken seriously, despite having critiques where I've had to grip the table to keep my hands from shaking. I feel like I'm being such a goddamn girl in my take on things, as if giving in to emotion or anything "feminine" invalidates everything I say. after all, strong women aren't supposed to buy into any of that touchy-feely crap. they only hang out with the tough smart men doing tough smart manly things. they're above all that silly girl drama.
well, I'm not above jack and shit. I am a girl, but I still wish to be taken seriously. yes, even when I use pastel colors. this is my story, this is my attempt at truth. fuck you, of course I'm serious.