(no subject)
Wait, I don't get it. Are we even having a fucking argument? Is this what boys and girls do in their spare fucking time? Sorry, I just can't deal. Instead of using the time that we can finally have together in some goddamn stupid space, we're trying to deconstruct fucking line of arguments and reactions. With me, with you, it is a power struggle, and I'm sorry I'm just not into such games when we're beyond the first stage already. With you, there is no way I can be truthful because the basic fact is: I don't trust even myself. There is no way to trust with words of two weeks old and growin' older. Where even if words are wine and gets better as it ages, the time-space context that we found our introductions to each other is so constrained that the analogy isn't even possible.
And the second fact: we can't divorce ourselves from the outer world. We had a temporal exclusivity that we both enjoyed, but that was transient. I miss the fuck out of you, or maybe I did, but sometimes I need new exclusivities, new ties, you and I, and if not, I don't know. There are times when I think you're baiting me, and even if you aren't, I still think you are and will never take it. So it comes down to the very bottom of things: yes, I guess I'd like for us to have known each other better, but since we couldn't, for me, our relations will always be displaced, like settling on an uneven plateau, a quake making a fissure in the ground, two sides apart and never quite the same again.
And the second fact: we can't divorce ourselves from the outer world. We had a temporal exclusivity that we both enjoyed, but that was transient. I miss the fuck out of you, or maybe I did, but sometimes I need new exclusivities, new ties, you and I, and if not, I don't know. There are times when I think you're baiting me, and even if you aren't, I still think you are and will never take it. So it comes down to the very bottom of things: yes, I guess I'd like for us to have known each other better, but since we couldn't, for me, our relations will always be displaced, like settling on an uneven plateau, a quake making a fissure in the ground, two sides apart and never quite the same again.