humdrum updates and moral victories
I have put my back out while cleaning the bathtub (moral of the story = live in grime), my eldest child spends half his life being babysat by television and my overtired baby spend 1.5 hours wailing this morning before finally succumbing to sleep. As she's aging, Helena is definately developing a fiery spark and her rage is comical to behold when one is not overtired as well.
On the other hand, glory Halleluiah, my son is at long last bowing down to societal pressure about going to sleep on his own. It is an incomplete and labour-intensive miracle, but at least the tide is turning. Bedtimes have always been rough with him, but they were getting ridiculous. Z would be spending up to 2 hours with him at night, keeping him company until he dropped off to sleep while M chattered brightly and ran cars over his face and twirled and stared at the cieling. Finally, I snapped and announced a new set of rules in which Matei had 1 hour of permitted parental company time and if he failed to go to sleep within that allotted slot, then it was his problem and he could resolve it on his own. Same with night-wakenings (of which there wer nromally at least 2-3). He could come to us for a cuddle or a hug, but then back to his own room for him.
The whole thing was incredibly stressful and heartbreaking - he howled, I grimly marched him back to his own room umpteen times in the small hours - bribes were offered, threats were hissed, tears were shed - and then, between one moment and the next, he simply capitulated and stayed in his own bed listening to storybook CDs on his own. I could hear him sobbing himself to sleep quietly, which was awful; and the next night after some of the same malarkey and more screaming and more threats and more teeth-gritting and anxiety and reassurances, he eventually came to me to ask for a long hug and then went to his bed on his own. It was one of the proudest moments of my life, watching him go to confront his fears on his own and be so so so proud of himself in the morning. We've got a stack of HotWheels cars and dole out one for every night he stays in his own bed.
Probably just as well he's been a sod last night though - stupid back injury would have prevented me from making good on promised grand prize for sleeping well (taking him to see Tangled in 3D) and then I would have been a liar on top of being Cruel Sleep Enforcer.
On the other hand, glory Halleluiah, my son is at long last bowing down to societal pressure about going to sleep on his own. It is an incomplete and labour-intensive miracle, but at least the tide is turning. Bedtimes have always been rough with him, but they were getting ridiculous. Z would be spending up to 2 hours with him at night, keeping him company until he dropped off to sleep while M chattered brightly and ran cars over his face and twirled and stared at the cieling. Finally, I snapped and announced a new set of rules in which Matei had 1 hour of permitted parental company time and if he failed to go to sleep within that allotted slot, then it was his problem and he could resolve it on his own. Same with night-wakenings (of which there wer nromally at least 2-3). He could come to us for a cuddle or a hug, but then back to his own room for him.
The whole thing was incredibly stressful and heartbreaking - he howled, I grimly marched him back to his own room umpteen times in the small hours - bribes were offered, threats were hissed, tears were shed - and then, between one moment and the next, he simply capitulated and stayed in his own bed listening to storybook CDs on his own. I could hear him sobbing himself to sleep quietly, which was awful; and the next night after some of the same malarkey and more screaming and more threats and more teeth-gritting and anxiety and reassurances, he eventually came to me to ask for a long hug and then went to his bed on his own. It was one of the proudest moments of my life, watching him go to confront his fears on his own and be so so so proud of himself in the morning. We've got a stack of HotWheels cars and dole out one for every night he stays in his own bed.
Probably just as well he's been a sod last night though - stupid back injury would have prevented me from making good on promised grand prize for sleeping well (taking him to see Tangled in 3D) and then I would have been a liar on top of being Cruel Sleep Enforcer.