dangling conversations
N: (philosophically, to Z who holds a howling baby) He is only crying because he's got gas.
Z: (through gritted teeth) When do you suppose he'll learn to be more stoical about it?
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Z: (proudly contemplating our baby's attachment to physical activity) I think he will grow up to be an athlete. (thinks) But what happens if he like breaks his leg or something and that ends his career and becomes useless and ruined.?
N: I guess then you'll just have to shoot him and start over.
***********************
Comparing who has had the hardest day in an effort to decide through democratic means whose turn it is to change the baby.
Z: I am knackered.
N: Well I am MORE knackered.
Z: I had a three hour meeting with my boss today.
N: And did your boss scream at you for two hours?
Z: You had naps when the baby napped.
N: Trust me, if your boss had whiled away the hours grabbing at your bosoms, you would have needed a quiet lie down afterwards too. AND you would have been able to sue for sexual harrasment.
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My mother, as we leave the baby clinic: While he was getting his BCG, I made an extensive survey of all the other babies in the waiting area and have concluded that they are all inferior to ours. I don't know why you are laughing, I am completely objective.
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N: [whinging to my stepdad on the phone about the baby's apalling wakefulness habit]
N's Stepdad: Ah, is it not written in the Bible - with pain you shall brith them?
N: Well it ought to say 'With pain you shall settle them down to sleep. That would have been a lot more accurate.
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N's mother, as her month-long stay comes to an end: I am going to miss him so much! It will be so hard to get used to days without him.
N: I will be happy to give you a call when he's screaming to help ease you through the transition.
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Me, showing Z some ways of entertaining the baby: The next game is called 'Looking At Pillows'. It is my favourite.
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N: Hey did you know there was an earthquake last night?
Z: Nope. But maybe that's why the baby slept right through.
Z: (through gritted teeth) When do you suppose he'll learn to be more stoical about it?
********************
Z: (proudly contemplating our baby's attachment to physical activity) I think he will grow up to be an athlete. (thinks) But what happens if he like breaks his leg or something and that ends his career and becomes useless and ruined.?
N: I guess then you'll just have to shoot him and start over.
***********************
Comparing who has had the hardest day in an effort to decide through democratic means whose turn it is to change the baby.
Z: I am knackered.
N: Well I am MORE knackered.
Z: I had a three hour meeting with my boss today.
N: And did your boss scream at you for two hours?
Z: You had naps when the baby napped.
N: Trust me, if your boss had whiled away the hours grabbing at your bosoms, you would have needed a quiet lie down afterwards too. AND you would have been able to sue for sexual harrasment.
***********************************
My mother, as we leave the baby clinic: While he was getting his BCG, I made an extensive survey of all the other babies in the waiting area and have concluded that they are all inferior to ours. I don't know why you are laughing, I am completely objective.
*******************************
N: [whinging to my stepdad on the phone about the baby's apalling wakefulness habit]
N's Stepdad: Ah, is it not written in the Bible - with pain you shall brith them?
N: Well it ought to say 'With pain you shall settle them down to sleep. That would have been a lot more accurate.
***********************************
N's mother, as her month-long stay comes to an end: I am going to miss him so much! It will be so hard to get used to days without him.
N: I will be happy to give you a call when he's screaming to help ease you through the transition.
************************************
Me, showing Z some ways of entertaining the baby: The next game is called 'Looking At Pillows'. It is my favourite.
********************************
N: Hey did you know there was an earthquake last night?
Z: Nope. But maybe that's why the baby slept right through.