I'm not sure how to phrase it because I'm trying to get out of it...
And I'm on enough of an anti-depressant, anti-axial drug dosage to tranq a horse...
I think that the Eastern European sadness is inherited.
Some people like my brother, consciously avoiding looking at it, try to stay as even keeled as possible, as neutral.
Others like my friend T, deny all emotion and periodically use alcohol or ganja to... vent... stabilize... chill... I dunno...
Myself I dove into it and almost drowned. Nothing as serious or as close to hearth and home like your case but in many ways I picked up on the scars that my parents bore, they moulded the soft clay of my being.
That and I couldn't help but to feel guilty that if it hadn't been for World War II and all the horro that it entailed, then my grandfather's first wife wouldn't have died from pneumonia (penicillin was impossible to come buy in Poland in 1944). If she hadn't died, grandfather would not have been remarried and papa wouldn't have been born...
I think that the Eastern European sadness is inherited.
I do too. Inherited to greater or lesser degrees depending on the movements of everyone's ancestors and where they were living but inherited still.
I've done all three strategies throughout my life, I think. Nowadays I try to stay even keeled as I can but at the same time hold out one hand to my feelings which I do with relative levels of success. :)
And I'm on enough of an anti-depressant, anti-axial drug dosage to tranq a horse...
I think that the Eastern European sadness is inherited.
Some people like my brother, consciously avoiding looking at it, try to stay as even keeled as possible, as neutral.
Others like my friend T, deny all emotion and periodically use alcohol or ganja to... vent... stabilize... chill... I dunno...
Myself I dove into it and almost drowned. Nothing as serious or as close to hearth and home like your case but in many ways I picked up on the scars that my parents bore, they moulded the soft clay of my being.
That and I couldn't help but to feel guilty that if it hadn't been for World War II and all the horro that it entailed, then my grandfather's first wife wouldn't have died from pneumonia (penicillin was impossible to come buy in Poland in 1944). If she hadn't died, grandfather would not have been remarried and papa wouldn't have been born...
Anyway, I have to head home, my shift is done.
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I do too. Inherited to greater or lesser degrees depending on the movements of everyone's ancestors and where they were living but inherited still.
I've done all three strategies throughout my life, I think. Nowadays I try to stay even keeled as I can but at the same time hold out one hand to my feelings which I do with relative levels of success. :)
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