the things I do for love
I love Z, I hate his furniture. Especially his beds.
The man, bless him, has moved into his new house not very long ago and still hasn't had a chance to get a proper bed, but instead sleeps on a camp bed style thing, on which it is impossible for two people to lie on comfortably unless they are lying one on top of the other and not moving or breathing at all. Furthermore, neither person can move without waking the other person and annhilating them with elbows. And the culmination of all is that having sex on it is frankly terryfing, as I never feel entirely certain that the contraption won't just fold up on us and collapse.
Bed number 2 is a futon, and significantly more girlfriend-friendly in the sense of being wider and more stable, but its wooden slats make it something only a fakhir could be comfortable on.
However, these nightly tortures are almost worth it for the amazing power shower in the bathroom. I am contemplating that I may just start to sleep in the bathtub instead.
To compensate for having failed to break Z's furniture, I ended up breaking myself on his furniture. I have quite an impressive bruise on my hand from where I ended up smashing it into a table, and a rather effective way of waking your boyfriend is by uttering piercing screams as you stumble into unseen chairs in the dark.
Although aside from the beds, the other things in his house work more or less as they should. The exception to this is the odd gadget he has, which is a small projector that wakes up at the sound of clapping and projects a lit image of the clock at the sound of clapping. Except that very often it ignores the sound of clapping but responds to random noises at random times of night - such as the cracking of my knees and hipbones. It would be more startling except that I find clocks pretty and I like sources of light.
In between all these things I did not get much sleep yesterday before Astrology, but about an hour before we were meant to be up I finally fell into a deep sleep and dreamt I was with a long line of Jewish people who were going to be killed except that a beautiful African goddess with a gold headscarf showed up and rescued me and addressed men in uniform in a very pointed and dissaproving tones.
On an unconnected but positive note, this month I'm not having any babies*. On the downside I am in pain and craving chocolate.
*Although if I had any babies I'd give them to tjej
The man, bless him, has moved into his new house not very long ago and still hasn't had a chance to get a proper bed, but instead sleeps on a camp bed style thing, on which it is impossible for two people to lie on comfortably unless they are lying one on top of the other and not moving or breathing at all. Furthermore, neither person can move without waking the other person and annhilating them with elbows. And the culmination of all is that having sex on it is frankly terryfing, as I never feel entirely certain that the contraption won't just fold up on us and collapse.
Bed number 2 is a futon, and significantly more girlfriend-friendly in the sense of being wider and more stable, but its wooden slats make it something only a fakhir could be comfortable on.
However, these nightly tortures are almost worth it for the amazing power shower in the bathroom. I am contemplating that I may just start to sleep in the bathtub instead.
To compensate for having failed to break Z's furniture, I ended up breaking myself on his furniture. I have quite an impressive bruise on my hand from where I ended up smashing it into a table, and a rather effective way of waking your boyfriend is by uttering piercing screams as you stumble into unseen chairs in the dark.
Although aside from the beds, the other things in his house work more or less as they should. The exception to this is the odd gadget he has, which is a small projector that wakes up at the sound of clapping and projects a lit image of the clock at the sound of clapping. Except that very often it ignores the sound of clapping but responds to random noises at random times of night - such as the cracking of my knees and hipbones. It would be more startling except that I find clocks pretty and I like sources of light.
In between all these things I did not get much sleep yesterday before Astrology, but about an hour before we were meant to be up I finally fell into a deep sleep and dreamt I was with a long line of Jewish people who were going to be killed except that a beautiful African goddess with a gold headscarf showed up and rescued me and addressed men in uniform in a very pointed and dissaproving tones.
On an unconnected but positive note, this month I'm not having any babies*. On the downside I am in pain and craving chocolate.
*Although if I had any babies I'd give them to tjej